New Blog Motto?

Yeah, when given the opportunity:

What does it say about me when I am so easily amused by spam?

The Virtual Outhouse Is Open!

[Trigger Warning: Trigger!]

I can't believe I haven't done a Virtual Outhouse since last October! So we're overdue for a resurrection of all things silly and absurdly over-the-top.

Five days of Trigger Warnings from the Pub That Made Portage Famous!

Gee, I sure hope I got 'em all!

Friday Pussy Blog: Upside Down Edition

Thank God It's Friday! This has been one brutal week.

Sissy

Sweet Pea

One big loaf of Tot making it difficult to get work done.

Target Practice

We got another lesson on how our country and our politics work, this time from Target.

A campaign contribution to a well-known anti-gay politician in Minnesota has become a rather large public relations nightmare for Target CEO Gregg Steinhafel--and the store now faces boycotts and backlash from the gay community.

Target's Chief Executive Steinhafel said gay employees have been concerned about the money helping state Rep. Tom Emmer, who opposes gay marriage. Target gave $150,000 to MN Forward, a group staffed by former insiders from outgoing Republican Gov. Tim Pawlenty's administration. MN Forward is running TV ads supporting Emmer.

The Associated Press reports that Emmer is a fiery conservative who lauds Arizona's strict approach to illegal immigration, once advocated chemical castration for sex offenders and wants to lower taxes. His profile contrasts with Target's moderate image in Minnesota, where the company is known for donating to public school programs, food pantries and the annual Twin Cities Gay Pride Festival.

Following the money trail, the Minnesota Independent has also linked Emmer to a Minnesota Christian "punk-rock ministry" that supports the killing of gays and lesbians.

It would be easy enough for me to get up here on my pulpit and say I'm going to boycott Target for as long as it takes. Honestly, I feel that would be somewhat misleading. Not because I would secretly continue to shop there and none of you would know anyway (except my local readers who might actually bump into me there). It's because I already don't shop at Target, even when I thought they were the good guys!

I may go in a Target once a year, if even that often. So it's not at all a stretch on my part to add Target to the personal boycott list which includes Wal-Mart, Exxon Mobile, and others. (And again, to be honest, I've bought something at Wal-Mart within the past 3 years -- I had a gift card from someone.)

The fact of the matter is this: Corporations are going to do what is best for them first. Even if it seems they are stabbing a certain group in the back. They can just make an excuse, say "sorry," and then throw a wad of cash at a gay pride event, and everything will be OK again. In this case, they don't say "sorry." But Target's CEO Gregg Steinhafel did have an excuse (bold emphasis mine):

"We rarely endorse all advocated positions of the organizations or candidates we support, and we do not have a political or social agenda," Steinhafel wrote. "As you know, Target has a history of supporting organizations and candidates, on both sides of the aisle, who seek to advance policies aligned with our business objectives, such as job creation and economic growth...Let me be very clear, Target's support of the GLBT community is unwavering, and inclusiveness remains a core value of our company."

Yeah. Their support may be "unwavering," but you can bet your Queer ass it will get trumped every time by the "business objectives" of The Corporation. Because that's how shit works.

Money from Target's top executives has gone mainly to Republicans. Former Chief Executive Officer Robert Ulrich, who retired last year, gave $617,000 during his time as Target's leader, most of it to the state GOP. Current Chief Executive Gregg Steinhafel has donated about $25,000, almost exclusively to Republican candidates and causes, including at least $1,000 to Michele Bachmann's "Victory Committee."

We need to get it through our heads that we can't have it both ways either. Frankly, Target can take their support of the Twin Cities Gay Pride Festival and whatever other "unwavering" support they provide, and shove it up their proverbial ass.

Corporations are about getting power and making profits for their boards of directors and their stockholders. There's no better way of doing that than making sure you have a few politicians on a leash who will carry on with passing legislation to achieve that objective.

If we want to get back at them, the best way of doing so is to elect politicians who care more about us, the people, than them, the corporations and big business. That would be a far greater victory than waging some boycott whereby a tiny fraction of their customer base suddenly finds another outlet for consumption.

I'm not suggesting we don't boycott. By all means, knock yourselves out. I won't be going to Target. But the sad truth remains: even if Target suddenly stopped the practice of donating money to the most disgusting political candidates, the other corporations -- the ones responsible for the manufacture and marketing of the products we buy -- are engaging in exactly the same reprehensible tactics.

This will not stop until we stop it.

California Is Going to Pot

And rightly so! It's about time a state took the lead on this.

OAKLAND, Calif. — The City Council gave final approval Tuesday to a plan that makes Oakland the first city in the country to authorize large-scale industrial pot cultivation.

The city intends to license four production plants where marijuana would be grown, packaged and processed for medical use.

I'm not sure I'd be comfortable paying the $211,000 annual permit fee, given that if voter inclination prevails, marijuana will be legal* to grow after the 2010 elections.

Asking about legalization in California, Public Policy Polling (PPP) found just 36 percent of respondents were opposed to Proposition 19, which would tax and regulate cannabis. The majority, 52 percent, favor legalization.

But the real story is a separate set of numbers: 38 percent of respondents had used cannabis, while 62 percent said they had not. If only 36 percent of respondents opposed Prop. 19, that means, in a random sampling of 614 California voters, there were more actual cannabis consumers than legalization opponents.

[...]

The Rand Corporation estimates that if cannabis were legal in California, prices could drop by as much as 80 percent, putting an ounce of finely cultivated buds at just $40 within a few years. The thinktank also estimated that a $50-per-ounce tax could generate up to $1.49 billion for the cash-strapped state in its first year.

Oh, and that asterisk I inserted earlier....

*Even if Prop. 19 passes, it may not mean anything, as the federal government could annul the law or challenge it in court. President Obama's Department of Justice has taken a hands-off approach to the sales of medical cannabis in states which allow it, but has maintained steadfast opposition to legalization.

I'm starting to think Obama's administration is secretly muslin Socialist Kenyan Republican, albeit 1970s Republican.

Don't Mess With California.

Friday Pussy Blog: Extremely Lazy Edition

It's been one of those days where a quick rain will move through and then the sun will come out. The sky will turn blue, and then another band of rain showers will move through prior to another sun appearance. This makes for a very muggy afternoon.

Indoors or out, the cats just want to relax.

Sweet Pea spreading out.

For once, Tater Tot couldn't care less about the camera.

He just wants to get his rest prior to the usual Friday night festivities.

Happy Friday!

In Case You Were Wondering

Obama's DEA Nominee

President Obama has nominated Michele Leonhart to be administrator of the Drug Enforcement Administration, and I'm sure that will be lost in the media frenzy surrounding the Shirley Sherrod clusterfuck debacle.

Thankfully, NORML is all over it.

Under Leonhart’s leadership [as acting-administrator], the DEA has staged medical marijuana raids in apparent disregard of Attorney General Eric Holder’s directive to respect state medical marijuana laws. Most recently, DEA agents flouted a pioneering Mendocino County (CA) ordinance to regulate medical marijuana cultivation by raiding the very first grower to register with the sheriff. Joy Greenfield, 69, had paid more than $1,000 for a permit to cultivate 99 plants in a collective garden that had been inspected and approved by the local sheriff.

[...]

Ms. Leonhart has also demonstrated that she is unable to be objective in carrying out the duties of the administrator as it relates to medical marijuana research. In January 2009, she refused to issue a license to the University of Massachusetts to cultivate marijuana for FDA-approved research, despite a DEA administrative law judge’s ruling that it would be “in the public interest” to issue the license. This single act has blocked privately-funded medical marijuana research in this country.

Monday Morning Ewwwww!

The is the last thing I needed to see at 7:10 AM on a Monday. So, naturally I had to share it via Jesus' General and BuzzFeed.

Read the Manual

I was being ridiculed this weekend by txrad because I had not read through the short little manual which came with my new iPad. He asked me what the warranty was and I had no idea.

All of the good user information is online so there really isn't much need to read what came with it. The Information Guide certainly would not have prevented me from spending hours on the phone with tech support to address the issue of why my iPad wasn't connecting to the internet.

However, I did read through it last night and I'm glad I did because there are some tips on handling the iPad, things to avoid, etc., which never would have crossed my mind.

Do not drop, disassemble, open, crush, bend, deform, puncture, shred, microwave, incinerate, paint, or insert foreign objects into iPad.

Whew! You know, as soon as I was done reading the New York Times on it, I absolutely would have dropped it into the paper shredder for the compost pile without even thinking! Still not sure why it's a bad idea to paint it a different color though. It would cut down on the screen glare.

Check and obey the laws and regulations on the use of mobile devices like iPad in the areas where you live or drive.

And if there's no law against it, well then, it must be fine to steer the car with your knees while composing an email on the iPad. Just be careful, OK?

Oh, wait, they must be referring to usage of the iPad as a music device. They do address email in the next paragraph.

Do not email, take notes, look up phone numbers, or perform any other activities that require your attention while driving.

Pity all the others who didn't bother to read the handy Information Guide. How will they know what to do and what not to do?

It has maps on it! Surely it must be OK to use it while driving to refer to maps!

Friday Pussy Blog: iTot Edition

I had a nice surprise today. The iPad I ordered a couple of weeks ago was slated to arrive near the end of next week, and it actually arrived at our door today.

I'm having one hell of a time getting on the internet using my Wifi, despite the fact I use it without fail on my laptop. I may try setting up a VPN and maybe I'll have better luck.

Meanwhile, I got some iTot photos on the iPad and will share those with you on this gloriously happy Friday.

I Write

I write like
David Foster Wallace

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Hopefully I won't die like him.

Wallace committed suicide by hanging himself on September 12, 2008, as confirmed by the October 27, 2008 autopsy report.

Argentina Deals Harsh Blow to Heterosexuals

By a vote of 33 to 27, lawmakers in Argentina yesterday voted to obliterate the rights of children to be "raised and educated by a father and mother," and decimated any possibility that our species will be able to perpetuate itself.

Yes, dear friends, Argentina has legalized same-sex marriage. Keep and eye on the sky as it will surely collapse down upon us soon.

''Marriage between a man and a woman has existed for centuries, and is essential for the perpetuation of the species,'' insisted Sen. Juan Perez Alsina, who is usually a loyal supporter of the president but gave a passionate speech against gay marriage.

[...]

Same-sex civil unions have been legalized in Uruguay, Buenos Aires and some states in Mexico and Brazil. Mexico City has legalized gay marriage. Colombia's Constitutional Court granted same-sex couples inheritance rights and allowed them to add their partners to health insurance plans.

Facebook 101

Yes, I'm a freak and chock-full of stupid shit.

A few other tips:

1. Maybe if you spend less time being an insensitive idiot to the plight of the unemployed and devote just a fraction of that time to learning how to use the social networking site, you wouldn't need to ask so many questions.

2. It must have been very frustrating trying to find me since I'm not, and never have been, in your friend list.

3. Anyone can send you a message, whether they are friends or not.

4. Use the Privacy Settings and select the Block Lists, then add my name.

5. Easiest of all: You could always just ask my brudda to tell me to cease & desist.

I wonder if he figured all that out yet. Not that it matters since I have not the least bit of interest in continuing the "conversation." I "want" bother him again.

Poor guy. I wonder what his reaction is when he's in a room and someone has MSNBC turned on.

Arrrrggg! ur turnin that off rite??? libral freaks want stop talking about stupid shit

Change Is Just Another Word

This new poll from WaPo/ABC News just disturbs me on so many levels.

Overall, a slim majority of all voters say they would prefer Republican control of Congress so that the legislative branch would act as a check on the president's policies. Those most likely to vote in the midterms prefer the GOP over continued Democratic rule by a sizable margin of 56 percent to 41 percent.

Wait. Don't we already have a pretty damn good "check on the president's policies" when he can barely get anything passed without watering it down for Republican taste, and then they typically vote no anyway?

The absurdity of the voter mentality has me ready to throw in the bloody towel and give up.

Seen on Facebook Today

And this status update is from a gay guy. He's not a friend of mine; just someone too stupid to make his rantings private.

The goverment can go to hell they only help the lazy ass people who don't want to work just sit on the porch and wait on a check ( and you know who I'm talking about) and have kid after kid so the wll give them more money! I hope they get cut off!

Yeah, just who is he talking about?

He goes on to write in comments:

Jason Bangs:
No I was just making a point, that my taxes are helping the useless

And yeah, I'll use his name since he seems proud enough to display them to the world via Facebook.

Asshole.

What the fuck does a 23-year-old know about taxes? Oh, but he likes Britney Spears. There you have it.

UPDATE: Just had a reply from the guy:

It has nothing to do with black or white people! it has everything to do with lazy ass worthless people who want everything givin to them, In stead of working for it, and I really dont care, The only reason it embarrasses you is if ur one of those people,or you just take it as if im being rases against any race! If you sit on ur porch and wait for a check that comes from the people who works taxes than YOU EMBARRASS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to reply:

My partner has been unemployed since 2007. You have a lot to learn, my man. It has nothing to do with "lazy." You embarrass me, still. Live long and prosper. But watch out for 2012.

And you would do well to work on your grammar, if you expect to be taken seriously by those of us who are paving your way.

Asshole, again.

Jason Bangs goes on to scribble:

Why does this bother you so much? You much be one of those people who do not a damn thing but wait on a check! And Im Not talking about the people who have gotten hurt and cant work, I talking about people who can work but chose not to, they just sit around having kids! and who gives a damn about 2012???

Get off my facebook freak!!!!!!!!!!

And a kona retort:

Spoken like a true short-sighted individual. Are you aware that you are going to live to be 60 or 70? You should care about 2012. And 2011. And 2020. But I won't waste my time. You are seriously an asshole.

I work. And have for a long time. And I work for gay rights. And I work for a better country than this. And I battle ignorance such as yours. And it infuriates the fuck out of me. That's why it bothers me so much.

And he cannot resist:

So people who dont work and sit around and wait for you to pay their way, How do you feel about that? And im not and ass hole im speaking the truth about what pisses me off I own my own company and it bugs me that people are so damn lazy!!!! How does that now bother you!!!

I guess my grammar jab went unheeded.

Get a job as well, you lazy morans!

Bite Me, Bhotofucket!

I was just in my Photobucket account when I noticed they have shitcanned another round of photos I've been using on my blog. In one album, a photo titled "janetboob" as received the big red TOU flag. Come on, it's been sitting in the account how long??

Then I jumped to an album where I store recurring images for use when I need them: the children of the Westboro Baptist Church idiots holding up the "God Hates Faggots" sigh, the Flying Spaghetti Monster poster which I had in my sidebar, and lastly the graphic I use for my "Factoids from the Deep" posts. It featured the creature from the lagoon going after a naked woman who had all her naughty ladybits covered up with black dots anyway.

This screen shot I took (above) is also stored in my Photobucket album, aptly named "Bhotofucket."

I seriously need to find another less-anal offsite storage for photos that's cheap or free. Anyone have a favorite? This has been going on with me and Photobucket for quite some time and I've had enough. Remember the problems I had with photos of vegetables in the shape of penises?

I'm done with Bhotofucket.

Tea Party Down Below

Via the Dark Wraith's Cheezburger page. Who knew he does stuff like this on the side? I guess economic turmoil isn't enough for him. LOL!

Cat Blogging Special Edition

I ran across a pile of old photos, mostly of me, in my desk drawer a few minutes ago.

What were my parents thinking when giving me a hatbox full of kittehs at that age?

That one facing the camera is surely thinking, "what the fuck? I've got to get away from this!"

Having seen this picture, I now clearly understand why the feline borg collective has had me targeted for payback in my later years.

Daily Dose o' Trigger Warningz

Seriously, I couldn't make this up if I had a creative outburst the size of a solar flare.

Melissa's happy pooch.

Flag! Obviously, not a dog person.

Dude... it's a relaxed and happy dog! Get your fears prioritized.

Here, I can help with that...

[Trigger warning for nasty alien.]

[Trigger warning for disgusting salt vampire.]

[Trigger warning for Rob Halford.]

All clear now?

Heard on the Radio

I ran out for a bit before lunch and heard this great new song by Ray LaMontagne. I didn't know who it was because they didn't announce the artist right after the song. Glad I was able to access the station's playlist on their website and track it back to roughly 10:55 this morning.

I wasn't at all surprised it was Ray LaMontagne because I've heard others songs of his and quite like them all.

Wiki lists his influences as Stephen Stills, Richard Manuel, and Rick Danko. But while listening on the radio, I kept thinking I was getting a lot of Joni Mitchell influence in there.

Great stuff.

Friday Pussy Blog: Kitty Porn Edition

[Trigger warning for cat ass.]

I don't know what's up with me today. First a post about body discharges and secretions, and now cat porn. I think it has been an exhausting week at work -- all 4 days of it -- and I am ready to kick back.

Cute boy nipples!

Not so cute crusty Tot ass. Boy! Clean that thing!

Slutty Sweet Pea

And his seductive sister, Sissy, who is notable for the slut sprawl.

HAPPY FRIDAY!

Bodily Discharge

No, seriously. Once in awhile a blogger will throw up (no pun intended) a question of the day regarding words you despise. A number of people will always list moist as their least-favorite word. I rather like that one myself.

However, I'm amazed at how many words there are for things that come out of our bodies, and none of them sound very appealing. Is it just me?

Dung
Shit
Excrement
Feces
Vomit
Snot
Pus
Piss
Urine
Puke
Diarrhea cha cha cha!

The only word I can think of relating to a body secretion (even the word secretion is kind of icky) that doesn't sound gross is milk!

I'm in the mood for a melody...

Hawaii Governor Vetoes Civil Unions for Gays

So much for all that bullshit hoopla about it being OK as long as we don't try to call it marriage. Damn her!

“I have been open and consistent in my opposition to same-sex marriage, and find that House Bill 444 is essentially same-sex marriage by another name,” the governor, a Republican, said.

Bored & Violet

There's "fuckers everywhere."

Yes, I've been watching too much politics again. LOL!

Muffin Malfunction Monday

I have a batch of muffins in the oven as I'm typing this. I normally use lemon yogurt in the preparation of blueberry muffins. I noticed the color in the yogurt was much darker than usual and I assumed it was blueberry yogurt. I have used that before but lemon is better.

As I continued to mix it with the egg, sugar and oil, I noticed the color was way off, even for blueberry. Upon inspection of the container it wasn't blueberry after all. Someone in this house bought something called "Chocolate Underground." Interesting name. Is that just off exit 69 on the Fudge Freeway?

Not sure who goofed up, but let me say I'm not the primary shopper in this house.

Muffins, anyone? They actually look and smell fine!

A Message for the 4th

Remembering Howard Zinn.

On this July 4, we would do well to renounce nationalism and all its symbols: its flags, its pledges of allegiance, its anthems, its insistence in song that God must single out America to be blessed.

Right on, brother!

Friday Pussy Blog: Hurricane Alex Edition

Wow. I knew we'd get some rain from Hurricane Alex -- or at least I hoped. But I had no idea the bands of rain would just keep on coming, long after Alex made landfall.

The bulk of the rain, about 2.6 inches happened mid-week. But we continue to have intermittent downpours. I haven't checked the rain gauge since Wednesday but I figure we have to be well over 3 inches total so far. It was desperately needed.

And it makes for good feline sleeping weather. One of my co-workers sent me this picture this afternoon of her cat resting comfortably, I presume.

I caught Sissy in her usual position:

She knows how to properly use a pillow.

Meanwhile, the Tot was pacing around the kitchen, looking for some trouble.

Checking out the rain.

And giving his daddy a loving over-the-shoulder glance.

HAPPY FRIDAY! HAPPY 4th!

Taking a Light Break in the Extremeties

I'm not sure if this is good or bad. As in life, probably some of both.