Clean Colons must not be "family-friendly"

Here comes the part of the show where you get to learn a little bit more about how konagod earns a living (or not the way business currently stands).

I share something in common with Darrin Stephens, one of my childhood idols on Bewitched: txrad and I are in the advertising business. That's where the similarities end. Unfortunately, I am not married to a witch (or a warlock) and I'm in the unglamorous world of infomercial advertising and other "direct-response" advertising.

We place campaigns on television stations around the US. I'm always getting emails regarding mundane station policies, such as where payments are to be sent, tape formats, deadlines, etc. etc.

Today I received an email regarding a new policy at WXIX, the Fox-affiliate in Cincinnati:

WXIX CANNOT air any type of colon cleanser show during the day and night. They can only air it in the overnights. Please please make note of this. These shows include dual action cleanse, almighty cleanse, DAC great falls and Evolve 2. Some of your titles are tricky so if you know it is a colon cleanse show please do not allocate it to WXIX during regular hours.

If we all follow their policies then everything should run smoothly. (emphasis mine)



Despite the fact that a clean colon contributes to overall health and wellness, that's apparently not enough to overcome the obvious: it's just too connected to the asshole to be suitable for family exposure.

I just do not understand idiotic station management. It's beyond idiotic, it's some warped adolescent mentality. Colon cancer is very common: 2nd only to lung cancer. One of my aunts died from it. But let's not broadcast anything about it during "family time" -- wouldn't want to inadvertently cause someone to even think about their assholes and what lurks further up the trail.

If you don't know why cleansing is so important, I will provide you with a link to a photo of the type of build-up that the standard American diet can produce in the colon. Be forewarned: it's gross.
click here

The combination of environmental toxins, an unhealthy diet and parasites poses a grave danger to humans. “In fact, parasites have killed more humans than all the wars in history”, reported National Geographic in its award-winning documentary, The Body Snatchers.

Now... go flush yourselves out.