"Drink the tranya. I hope you relish it as much as I."
I have no idea if I spelled "tranya" correctly and I'm too fucking lazy to look it up.
And that's not even the point.
I'm here to tell you about us having our septic tank being pumped out today.
A guy came over about 8:30 this morning. Txrad was handling all the details.
They told us beforehand to make sure we had the area cleaned to avoid a $65 extra charge. Txrad went out yesterday to clear away grass from the septic tank cover. I must confess I haven't mowed in about a year but that's another story.
The guy showed up on time and began pumping our shit into his tank. I would like to have asked him if everyone's shit smells the same or if there is a particular house he's pumped where the shit smell made him double-over retching. I may have the opportunity.
You see, he needed to access our septic pump mechanism that lies under a round green lid in the yard near the shitdump. I've seen it a thousand times while mowing. But today, because I haven't mowed in so long, txrad couldn't find it. I finally went out in my shorts with no underwear, making sure to zip my fly up, grabbed my hoe and began to search for that elusive green disk along with the partner brandishing a shovel.
We were ripping up grass. The guy pumping our shit said this: "I'm 50 years old (he looked about 35) and back in the 70s I was in a hippie commune and you guys remind me of that, with the hippies out working the soil with shovels and hoes.
Fuck.
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