Not Too Early For New Year Resolutions

I'm very good about making resolutions for the New Year. I start thinking about them on the afternoon of December 31 usually. Three perennial favorites are:

1. Stop smoking
2. Start flossing regularly
3. Learn to speak another language -- ideally Spanish so I can communicate with our southern neighbors.

This usually plays out as follows:

About 7:30 on the morning of January 1 I'll be sitting on the patio smoking a cig and will say to myself, "Oh I guess I've screwed that one up already."

Feeling guilty, I'll go floss later in the day. Then around the middle of May it'll occur to me I haven't flossed again. I'll do it and it's not so bad. "I'll do this again tomorrow," I tell myself. Round about mid-September I'll realize "tomorrow" has yet to arrive.

Meanwhile, as close as I've come to reading or speaking Spanish are the words "Hecho en Mexico" on the tequila bottle.

I'm desperately in need of some new bad habits to replace the old ones. Any ideas? Heroin, cocaine, and meth are off the table. I'm looking for "healthier" bad habits.