These last several weeks have been very strange in terms of my employment. It's one thing to be fired or laid off suddenly -- been there, done that. But it's quite another to be told 5 or 6 weeks ahead of time that your last day is December 28. And it's different again to find out this week that because the office has decided to close the entire week for the holidays, my last day will now be.. tomorrow.
There really hasn't been much work this month. I've spent several days during these weeks "working" from home which basically entails simply keeping an eye on emails. On the days when I have gone in, I've only stayed 3 or 4 hours -- going in around 10:00 and leaving by 2:00.
While this sounds lovely, and it has been on some level, it's also been stressful because I'm still attached and yet in a state of limbo, and that's how I've felt since August when I suspected my services might no longer be needed at the end of the year due to the probable loss of an enormous account.
It's an odd feeling knowing that I will drive in tomorrow for the sole purpose of being discharged. On one level I'm sad and emotional about it. No longer seeing my co-workers or working on an account which has been the highlight of my advertising career is a tough reality to face.
On another level, I'm absolutely thrilled to exit limboland, have some untethered downtime in January, and plot the path for the future which, at this moment, is about as uncertain (and scary) as driving in thick fog.
So I guess my current state of mind would best be described as sad, excited, and cautiously optimistic with a light dusting of fear. What a combo.
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