Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birthdays. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Happy 50th Sheldon!

My man's long-awaited 50th birthday is today. The bastard took his sweet time about it. I've been waiting nearly a year and a half on him to join this club.

I could not let such a special occasion go unrewarded.

I few weeks ago we were at a local Italian restaurant (real Italian. The owners speak Italian!) and admiring some of the art on the walls. I decided right then Sheldon was getting the "barn cat" painting for his birthday.

And I may have gone over the top. He also got the goat and the chief!








Now, meet the artist:


Jared Dunten/Mouthpainter

He will paint himself out of that wheelchair!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

This Blog Is 4...Only 4?

How old is that in blog years?



Honestly, I feel like I've been maintaining this thing for something like 10 years. That's not to suggest I don't enjoy it. As with life, there are days and weeks when I've been very excited about it, and other stretches of time when I'm so busy and uninspired creatively that I can't do a post for days.

It has been an important and much-needed outlet for me to get things off my chest from time to time as well as to share some humor, and express a little creativity from time to time. Entering the world of blogs as I did in early 2006 was also a great step which enabled me to get to know a lot of truly wonderful people. I must give credit to two blogs for inspiring me to start mine: Shakespeare's Sister and Pam's House Blend. Shakespeare's Sister (which has since evolved into the blog "Shakesville") particularly could be considered my inspiration point and the place where I met the bulk of my circle of virtual friends, starting with those who were contributors to that blog at the time, and many Shakers in comment threads.

That flash point of excitement for me seemed to stretch for a decade. And yet, the reality is that it lasted maybe 20 months before all kinds of shit started to hit the fan. But I value the friends I have made far more than I can adequately express.

Other highlights for me during this span of time include being asked by Pam Spaulding to guest blog with a few other Blenders during a time when Pam was out covering a political event, if I recall. Honestly, I was nervous as hell having the keys to the coffeehouse and hoped I'd do a great job and not let her down.

It was also a tremendous honor being asked by Melissa McEwan if I wanted to be a contributor to the Big Brass Blog. And I was blown away by the support I received from many after being nominated two years in a row for a Weblog Award. Never won in voting, and knew I wouldn't, but it was a memorable blast!

All of this happened within the first year of my starting this blog. But by 2007 I was going through a major job change after not being able to keep my own business operational. I had to focus a huge amount of energy that year on an overwhelming workload and responsibility with the new job.

By the end of 2007, I was unemployed again after a major client moved their advertising to another shop. It wasn't until the summer of 2008 that I landed back on my feet and the time between then and now has been a blur. Maybe that's why my four years of blogging seems like so much longer: there's been a lot happen and a lot going on during that time! In some ways, I feel like the 12-year-old child actor who got one starring role in a film, and got caught up in the excitement and the attention, and then it vaporized. The real world requirements trumped the superficial newness and glamor very quickly. However, I still get a feeling of excitement whenever I'm linked to by Crooks & Liars!

Gone are the days of Weblog Award nominations; gone are the days when I thought I was trying to build a major blog, or even a minor one. (Also gone --as in deceased-- are a few bloggers with whom I had the pleasure of working.) This blog is simply a personal diary now for the most part. But if you want to stay along for the ride, be my guest.

I am looking forward to year #5 and I promise, next year, I won't eat most of the cake before I post it.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

It's My Birthday and I'll Blow If I Want To

You didn't think I'd not blog on my birthday did you?




I got to blow two candles.

What a day.

And now on to something completely unrelated to age (or is it?):

I really hate bands with drummers who are the vocals also. I want some prancing around, but not too much.

"Life in the Fast Lane" by the Eagles comes to mind.

But drummers who go on to become vocalists are fine by me.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Last Post of the 40s

I wanted to write something special for my 50th birthday which is April 22. This will be my last post as a 40-something. I had hoped to write something very introspective and inspiring. Alas, a draining workday has dealt a fatal blow to that plan.

Basically, it is coming to pass like any other day. Cat litter needed scooping and I wanted to get it replaced today so I wouldn't have a to-do list on my actual birthday that included hauling out clumps of feline piss and shit. Alas, there is no litter in the house. So I can add a trip to PetSmart to my to-do list on my birthday.

It will also be like any other day in that I'm working. I may take off at noon. We'll see how that pans out. The grass is still green, and the sky is still blue. (And the clouds are still white or gray.) The wind still blows and the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Turning 50 is just a day older than turning 49.972603 which is my approximate age at the moment I'm typing this.

I'm a workaholic and a drunk with a penchant for wine, weed and wimmen whisky.

I am no stranger to depression and distression.

I can be pretty hard on myself for not completing things I wanted to do while I was in my 40s. (Well, if they haven't gotten done by now, lighten the fuck up why don'cha?) I'll just reschedule. Simple.

When I moved to Austin at the age of 37, I never in my wildest dreams imagined I'd still be living here when I turned 50. In the best case scenario this is about twice as long as I've ever stayed in one place previously.

I've been obsessed with the census since 1970. I participated in my first one, with great joy and fanfare, in 1980. This is my 4th census in which I participated and the first one in which I've been living as an adult in the same city and the same house since the last one!

So many things have stayed the same since that dreaded day 10 years ago when I went from 39 to 40. And so many things have changed. Even 5 years ago I had no idea what a blog was. HTML were meaningless consonants. My cellphone was probably the size of a fanny pack and it didn't do a fucking thing but make and receive calls. Ahh, those were the days.

So, txrad is going to make me a cake biscuits with maple syrup for my birthday. That's something I've been wanting him to do which he hasn't done -- probably since I turned 40!

Yesterday I went out and spent way too much money on a bottle of single malt scotch which I shall relish at the exact moment I turn 50 on Thursday. (It's after-hours in case any work folks are reading this. Around 6:35 PM if I recall.) This scotch was poured into a barrel when I was 33. Shit, I'd barely learned to use the internet back then. A fax machine was still pretty fucking cool and I was probably just learning how to put color in cells in a spreadsheet. River Phoenix hadn't even overdosed yet in front of the Viper Room, but he was getting pretty damn close. I'll bet he wishes he was 50. (Or not.)

Bill Clinton was starting year #1 of his two terms and had no idea he was going to eventually blow a load on Monica's blue dress. (But I'll bet he was thinking about it.) Jurassic Park was released! (Wait, that doesn't seem that long ago!)

Babies born that year are packing for college. Whitney Houston had a #1 hit on the Billboard charts. There's been lots of water under the bridge since then!

This is why I hate milestone birthdays. I can't get my brain to fucking shut itself off. So while I may turn 50, I can sip and relish something sublime from another era, an era that is lost except for memories and the contents of a bottle. And that too shall soon be pissed away.

I've decided these annual birthdays are a crock of shit. Henceforth, I will only acknowledge birthdays which are prime numbers. The last one was 47. The next one is 53. Fuck everything in between.

Primes make the number of birthdays a hell of a lot more palatable.






Whatever happens, it's a big improvement over last year.

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Happy Birthday, Barack & Helen, and a QoTD



This photo makes me smile!

Via.

Now, I have a rather unrelated question of the day to throw in. I have many readers in other countries: Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and Costa Rica to name but a few.

Please leave a comment and tell me what you like and/or dislike about your health care options in your country. And please remember to name the country. My mother is on board with that Obama wants to kill the old people bullshit. Of course, because he is a Socialist and Fox News never lies.

And have any of you seen the advertisement on television for Ambien CR? Jesus H. Christ, do we have problems in this country! Can't sleep? Well, pop this pill. You may well sleep...forever. Listen to the long laundry list of side-effects. It makes being awake all night sound like a walk in the park.



You know, somewhere in a nation of 300 million people, someone is under the influence of this drug and is driving a vehicle and... texting! Yikes!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Three Years Blogging

Three years ago today I started this saucy, brassy blog. I decided to commemorate the occasion by grabbing an old photo of txrad's non-functioning trumpet and jazz up the three valves a bit.





2,396 Blog Posts

111,027 Visitors

In many ways it's hard to believe it's only been three years. Anyway, moving on to #4.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

How I Spent My 49th Birthday

A number of people have asked for more details on my desire to spend almost my entire birthday in a federal court room.

For the past four years or so, we have had a neighbor behind us, but one lot over, who has been an extreme nuisance. I knew there was a woman living there when we moved here 11 years ago but a guy showed up on the scene about 4-5 years ago and was living there. That was the start of a downward spiral which, we are hoping, ended yesterday for good.

After he moved in, their property appearance began to deteriorate. Because I can't really see their property except for a garage door from my back patio, I really didn't know what was going on until I walked around the block a few years ago. It was as if their house was a giant magnet for any metal objects drifting through the city: old cars, old bicycles, scrap metal, etc. It was really more than the eye could behold in a quick glance.

I was never brave enough to walk over there and take decent pictures from the street, but I did find a poor quality "street scene" using maps from a well-known technology behemoth, and I managed to improve the picture quality slightly to give you a very rough idea. Trust me when I say it's far worse if you could have seen it live, and these photos could be 3 years old.



Notice the car hauler. Very convenient for bringing in more non-functional vehicles to the front yard! Assuming that wasn't also a non-functioning piece of junk itself!







It was always a work in progress. The guy built a treehouse in the front yard and tried to create various sculptures around the mail box. It is no exaggeration whatsoever to describe it as a junkyard.

Then the music began to creep in. As most of you know, I have no issues with music. Hell, I live for it! Always have. But when it comes to another person's choices in music being played outside at a loud volume for hours at a time, that tends to take a toll on my patience.

It started with a radio and a few CDs while he was working in the yard -- i.e. rearranging junk or adding to the junk. On rare occasions I'd hear country music; most of the time it was rock or rap, and Eminem comes to mind.

Then JF (I'm using his initials instead of referring to him as the "guy") acquired a set of drums and it was obvious he'd never had a lesson a day in his life. Instead of practicing IN the house as most normal people would do, he set this up outside and/or in the garage depending on the weather. As if that wasn't irritating enough, the amplifier came along so that more of the neighborhood could hear his free concerts. Little did I know at the time, this was likely his very thought!

By this time I was rather certain he had to be doing drugs. First, he didn't appear to have any visible means of support as in employment. He was home most of the time, and when he was home he was playing. Soon, a friend or two started showing up and there were other instruments in the mix. The "band" was in development! And the noise was hideous. While junk was being sucked in, talent seemed to be on the run.

No hour of the day or night was off-limits. The drums could be heard in pre-dawn darkness and it might extend off and on throughout the day and into the evening. There was also a perceptible ebb and flow of energy and enthusiasm and I was finally able to pinpoint when the methamphetamine was kicking in. I didn't have visible proof of drug use, but after years of hearing a neighbor it's not hard to arrive at that conclusion.

We had lived here over 10 years without having any contact with any of our neighbors. And I'm fine with that. I live a private life and this being Texas, I never felt compelled to go around the neighborhood saying "Hi, we're you're Queer neighbors." That was particularly true in the first few years when it was technically illegal in this state for my partner and I to make love.

Then last August something very odd happened. I was sitting here at my desk, probably doing what I'm doing right now, when txrad came in to announce with some excitement, "Come here! There are goats on our patio!"

He was not hallucinating. We finally met our next-door neighbors when they came over to retrieve the goats and needless to say, the conversation turned to JF who lived directly behind these neighbors. All of my suspicions were confirmed and a whole lot more.

We learned that JF had married the woman who lived rather quietly in the house before he came on the scene, and that he was considerably younger than her. This is particularly funny because I really hadn't seen JF up close and when I would walk or drive by his house I avoided eye contact if he happened to be in the yard. Because of his behavior, I was under the assumption he was in his early 20s. It wasn't until yesterday that I learned he was 49 years old.

It was also confirmed by our neighbor that he was a psychopath, a criminal, and a drug user. He was also an informant for the sheriff's department in our fair and liberal oasis in central Texas, which is why they wouldn't lay a finger on him. In fact, they had done all they could to clear his criminal records.

Between August and the end of 2008, armed with much more information on JF and his history, I began paying closer attention to his activities which were getting increasingly distressing to me, not that the prior four years hadn't taken a toll on my psyche. To this day when I hear any kind of noise outside while sitting at my desk, I find it jarring. Even as I'm typing this, I hear an occasional thump-thump-thump from street construction going on nearby, and it gives me the heebie-jeebies. My mind always leaps to the conclusion that JF is baaack.

Deep in my heart I had -- dare I use this word as an atheist -- prayed (in some sense) that he and his wife would lose the house. It was inconceivable to me they would move out voluntarily, and I could not understand how they had the money to even pay the annual property taxes. In fact, for most of these years I wasn't even aware there was a wife over there. I just assumed it was JF having one long continuous drug-fueled party.

Around the time of the presidential election we found a letter in our mailbox which was addressed to our goat-owning neighbors. I walked it over there and had another very long chat with the neighbor concerning politics, Obama, and yes, JF. There were more developments. JF had been picked up on a weapons charge and if convicted, would serve time in a federal prison.

I asked about the goats, as I hadn't heard them in awhile, and I was told some heartbreaking news. Thanks to a hole in the fence separating JF's yard from the goats, JF's pit bulls came through and killed the goats. I was sickened.

Shortly thereafter, my prayers/dreams, whatever you want to call it, came true. The wife, having gotten several loans against her house to pay JF's legal fees and suddenly was facing a foreclosure. By January the house was vacant, the yard had been cleaned up, and I wrongly assumed I'd never have to be within earshot of JF again. Alas, this is the problem with assumptions.

On April 15, after more than four months of neighborly silence, I received a private Facebook message from our neighbor next door concerning JF. She started by saying "I have some disturbing news regarding JF."

My heart was already thumping. She explained that due to his lack of "official" criminal activity recently, thanks largely to our efficient sheriff's department, JF would probably not face more than 30-37 months on the federal weapons charge -- a considerably lighter sentence than he would otherwise receive.

She went on to say that JF's wife had moved back into our neighborhood and was renting a house one block over from us. Alarm bells were now going off in my head.

The sentencing hearing was schedule for April 22 at 9:00 AM. Great! My birthday. And she asked me if txrad and I would please go to the hearing with them. She had previously told me about the experience when she and her partner testified at the trial and it was not fun. But I mulled this over and decided I'd go. It was an agonizing and stressful week but by Tuesday evening I was actually rather excited, although at least 75% of my excitement was due to the fact that all this would soon be over!

At 8:06 AM, txrad and I were in the car heading to the downtown court house for the 9 AM sentencing hearing. We arrived shortly before 9 and met up with our neighbors. Many of our neighbors were unwilling to attend out of fear. One couple from our neighborhood was at the court house yesterday morning but were unable to stay throughout the afternoon until the actual sentencing took place. Thankfully, a number of them who did not attend were willing to write a letter to the judge explaining their experiences.

After sitting through two hours of a sentencing involving a young woman from Mexico with a heroin conviction, we learned there were about 6 or 7 more cases ahead of us before we'd get to the JF sentencing. The agony would be prolonged.

txrad and I came home, had lunch, and I did a bit of office work before we headed back downtown just before 2 PM. It was well after 3 PM when the JF sentencing hearing began. And oh my, it was worth the wait!

JF and his lawyer spoke first to the judge and although I had been given a preview of what they were going to say in his defense, to hear it coming from JF and his attorney just made my blood start to boil.

JF was made out to be an asset to the community, a guy who has aided law enforcement "for free" for years, and helped rid our streets of drugs and bad guys. When the issue of the junkyard came up, his claim was that he filled his yard with old bicycles, go-karts, and other trash to attract teenagers and thus be in a position to help them with their lives because, as he put it, he really cares about the kids. (This would be a recurring theme in his own personal statements to the judge.)

At this point I was mentally arranging letters of the alphabet in my head: B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.

One of my neighbors had already asked me if I was going to make a statement to the judge and I told her I didn't think I would. Suddenly I was having a change of heart.

Then JF's wife went to make her statement. This is where things really bordered on the surreal. As tears welled up in her eyes, she explained to the judge how ridiculous these charges were, reiterating what an asset he was to the community and then turning to point at us nasty neighbors, adding that she could not understand why these neighbors are trying to tear him down. I am paraphrasing because I was not taking notes, but this is a very close approximation of what she said.

And then she went on with her tirade and said he was such an asset that he had managed to rid a nearby street of Satan worshippers, then she had to stop due to excessive crying. It was at precisely this point where I had a revelation. JF, who had already struck me as being very Charles Manson-esque, had such a grip on this woman that she had become as deranged and delusional as he was. I could not help but wonder if the judge was thinking the same.

Next up to speak before the judge were our two neighbors who brought up a variety of excellent points involving the amount of filth and trash in the yard, the number of dumpsters required to haul it off and the resulting rodent problems. And the issue of the pygmy goats.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I approached the judge. My thoughts had blurred into a nebulous train wreck and I was so nervous I wasn't sure if I could squeeze a word out of my mouth. I could feel the eyes of JF and his wife burning into my back as I told the judge my name. I explained that I had worked from my home for 4 of the past 5 years and therefore had spent a lot of time observing and hearing all the activity from JF's property. I mentioned the "music" and that no hours were safe from the onslaught, and that on occasion it was so loud it would rattle my windows and reverberate through my house. Between the music and other "disturbances" it was driving me crazy.

I very truthfully informed the judge that there were many times when I was so frustrated I simply wanted to put my house on the market and move, but that any open house put on by the realtor would have come with an unwanted band. I concluded by saying if JF ever returns to our neighborhood, I feel I would have no choice but to move away. I said "thank you" and returned to my uncomfortable wooden court room bench, catching the swollen red eyes of JF's wife in the process.

JF and lawyer again approached the judge for their rebuttal. Now that I had mentioned the music issue JF felt compelled to explain that it was his intention to create a Christian rock band -- again, to help set all the corrupted teenagers who might pass by on a path to righteousness. Good grief, I was so embarrassed. Of course that was their intention. It was at that point I remembered JF and his bandmates screaming the word "faggot" into a microphone. Pardon my error.

The judge was now ready to render a good and fair ass-whuppin' sentence to our fine upstanding asset to the community. He took his sweet time about it, bringing up a multitude of prior convictions....driving with license suspended, violation of a protective order, theft, evading arrest, escaping from custody, driving with license suspended, unauthorized use of a vehicle, criminal trespass, assault/family violence, driving with license suspended, theft, driving with license suspended, (see any kind of trends here?) trespass of a habitation, possession of meth with intent to distribute. But hey, he was doing it for the sake of "the kids."

JF, turns out, has been in jail about 50 times, but NEVER, as strange as it seems given his history, been sentenced and sent to a federal facility until yesterday.

The judge, in an amazing understatement, said to JF, "You obviously have a disrespect for the law." And if I recall correctly he added something along the lines of, "...and a sense you are above the law."

After giving JF a verbal reaming, in a polite judge sorta way, he then proceeded to sentence JF, not to the "advisory sentencing guideline" for criminal possession of a firearm in the 33-37 month range, but to 60 months! Five years in a house he will not be allowed to trash.

As the prosecutor told me, it's rare for a judge to deviate upward from the established sentencing guidelines, and without a doubt she feels our presence and desire to speak out as neighbors helped cement the deal which puts this man out of our midst for five years, and on probation for three more, during which time he cannot touch drugs or alcohol without being returned to prison.

But remember, he's "tender-hearted," per his wife's testimony. My favorite mug shot is the 3rd row down, 5th photo over. No doubt he had just wrapped up a Jesus Loves You seminar with some area youngsters before being apprehended.


If you think this is frightening, be thankful you didn't have to hear him speak in his defense. At least he's gone; I feel safer in that regard. I find it disturbing that his wife, who clearly drinks from the same well of contaminants, is a block over from us. We'll all have to watch our backs.

All that aside, this was the best and most uniquely memorable birthday I have ever experienced. My neighbors and I were a part of justice being served.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

What a Birthday!

txrad and I were in the car at 8:06 heading downtown on my birthday for a federal sentencing hearing involving an ex-neighbor. After spending two hours in the court room hearing an unexpectedly lengthy heroin case involving a young woman from Mexico, we were told the case in which we have an interest will not come before the judge until probably mid-afternoon. We came home to regenerate and have some lunch before heading back downtown.

Having witnessed what I have seen this morning involving this woman and her heroin conviction, I can safely say our country is terribly fucked up when it comes to drugs, drug laws, the penalties, and ESPECIALLY the costs associated with these convictions.

This is one person, one case, in one medium-sized American city, in one day. I cannot imagine what the lawyers and investigators must have made in the 2-3 years of investigations, wire-tapping, etc., related to this case. Multiply this by tens of thousands and it becomes an incomprehensibly astounding waste.

I can think of better ways to spend a birthday, but very few which could be so eye-opening, educational, and informative.

We definitely need to overhaul some things in this country. That's for damn sure.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

A Floral Surprise

There was a loud knock at the door earlier today. I couldn't imagine who might be delivering anything because everything I've ordered has already been delivered.

Although my birthday isn't until two weeks from today, these arrived from my employer. Nice. Love the vase as well. This looks great on the new table and makes me think "springtime!"

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

What's In a Name?

Here I go again putting myself out on a limb with this story about a store refusing to decorate a cake for a child's birthday. Sounds cruel except that the child's name is Adolf Hitler Campbell. Another story.

But let's get real. The assholes are the parents, not the child. It's rare that I disagree with Keith Olbermann, who covered the story tonight, but it does happen. And he dragged Rachel Maddow into the fray. I see their point but I think they are wrong.

When you go into business, you are in business to serve all people. No doubt they have baked cakes and decorated them for any number of racists, homophobes, bigots, whatever, but it was in a less obvious situation. Refusing to decorate a cake for a child who happens to be named Adolf Hitler Campbell, even if the cake decoration itself was to say only "Adolf Hitler" is unacceptable in my opinion.

Adolf in and of itself is not a bad name. Nor is Hitler. And I'm sure there's been more than one Adolf Hitler on the planet given the preponderance of Germans. And it's not like the parents, assholes though they are, were asking for a cake to celebrate the birthday of Adolf Hitler. His birthday was just two days from mine way back in April. This is a cake for a child who does not yet comprehend the atrocity inflicted upon him by his asshole parents.

Let him have his cake. Give him as much joy as possible in his young years because he will be subjected to hell by the time he's going through school.

Honestly, this hysteria reminds me a bit of the Hussein frenzy surrounding Obama. The difference being that Barack was named prior to Saddam Hussein coming to power. It's just a name. And so is Adolf. And so is Hitler. Deal with it.

The kid is not Adolf Hitler. He is just named after him. He deserves a cake, and more. And Wal-Mart came through for him.

Wow, politics really does make for strange bedfellows. I wish George Carlin was around to pontificate on this story.

What do you think?

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Happy 47th Birthday txrad!

And boy, did we have an exciting day. We went out for a burrito at lunch, then stopped at Home Depot where I purchased txrad's birthday present:



What can I say. It's been a busy week at work and I haven't exactly had time to slip out and get him a real surprise gift, but he had been wanting another banana tree since ours passed away a year or so ago.

Best of all, I picked one which has babies already!



Then we came home. I've sat at my desk organizing pre-digital photographs which had been piled in a box for years. We lead an exciting life.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Remembering Jerry Garcia

The man would have been 66 today.



He died on August 9, 1995. txrad and I were visiting San Francisco at the time. How appropriate!

For me, the lame part of the Sixties was the political part, the social part. The real part was the spiritual part.

--Jerry Garcia


Thursday, May 08, 2008

Selling My Soul to Robert Johnson

I didn't post today except at Black Soap, and that's likely to be the trend if today is any indication.



Just wanted to pop over here because it's Robert Johnson's birthday, a fellow Taurus, and blues god. I can't let this one slide since he basically influenced everyone who gives me goose flesh.



Tuesday, April 22, 2008

48 Candles On The Konacake Today

And it's Earth Day. And it's Pennsylvania Primary Day. Who could ask for more?



I found some random Flickr photos with a theme of...




48th Avenue


48 Panes


48 Floors Above Dubai


Dice.


Those dice might be loaded.

On this day when I was born, this song was #1 on the charts.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Nasty Fractions

I wish I'd never learned about rounding up fractions to obtain a whole number. It just bothers me. My digital thermometers report the temperature to 1/10th of a degree. It makes me sound geeky when I tell someone our low yesterday morning was 34.5° instead of just saying 35. Sometimes I round down just for added emphasis. After all, 34° sounds so much more threatening to our tomato plants than 35°.

An infatuation with fractions has always caused me to play silly games with my age. Each year on October 22, I usually tell myself I'm x.5 years old. Last October 22 I was 47.5 and of course I start rounding up at that point. I'm so used to thinking of myself as 48 that when my birthday rolls around next Tuesday, I have to pinch myself to remember than I'm not turning 49 -- that this is the real 48, not the 47.5 version. And in a way, it becomes a relief. "Oh, I'm still only 48. Whew!"

I remember when I turned 20 I told myself I was one-quarter of the way to being 80. At 25 I was a quarter of a century old, and halfway to 50. It sounded detestable. In retrospect, things weren't so bad. At 45 I was halfway to 90. Or looked at another way, I'm probably more than halfway to being dead. At this point it's time stop with the fraction games, or maybe throw them into reverse: next week I'll only be twice as old as I was at 24. Now, doesn't that sound better?

There's something about mid- to late-40s that causes introspection and reflecting back on a life which could have been different. And making a lot of mistakes in my 40s certainly hasn't helped. I often remark that I wish I was 18 again and starting college. Or even being 30 again and going back to college. But honestly, I don't really want to go back. I'm just battering myself unnecessarily for the fact that I've been unemployed for almost four months and have been employed at seven different advertising agencies in the past 11 years. I was fired or laid off from three of them. Four, if you want to count me having to lay myself off from my own failed agency. That's a 57.1% fired and/or laid off rate.

Four of the agencies are no longer in business. Five, if you want to count my own agency which is technically functional but in no way able to sustain me, for a failure rate of 71.4%. That leaves two agencies from my history which are still fully functional: the one which laid me off in December, and one where I worked at the beginning of this decade and then quit to take a better deal.

Realizing that the latter was the only agency in my history which had never shut down, laid me off, or both, I decided perhaps I should consider applying for a job there. This was going through my mind last week. And then on Friday I got an email from one of my former co-workers there saying he had some news for me. This came out of the blue, unsolicited, so my first thought was that he was perhaps contacting me to see if I wanted to work there. The universe does work that way sometimes; it's a strange and fluid flow of thoughts, energies, and coincidences.

Unfortunately the news was that my friend had been laid off on Friday, along with 12 others. Hmmm. Not good. So I was a little bummed out and feeling back at square one again.

Then yesterday I received an email from another friend at an agency where I've never worked (imagine that!) asking me if I was still looking for employment. Yes indeed. He has given his two weeks' notice and, although the agency isn't planning to fill the position right away, he asked me to send my resume. It's amazing how these little glimmers of hope can perk us up. And unlike many of the other options I have, this one would be a good match. Not only would there be no relocation required (if the position is exactly what I've been doing for the past 8 years), but I'd be able to work from my home office. No rush hour commute; no weekly pumping of $60 into the gas tank.

Things are starting to come together and gel, if only slightly. While I often wish I'd applied myself in college and perhaps gotten an MBA, there are still no guarantees in life, particularly now in 2008 and beyond. And who am I kidding anyway? An MBA? Like I'd been happy putting on a white shirt and a tie every day for the past 25 years to go crunch numbers in an office?

The fact is, I enjoy crunching numbers -- to the fraction. I'm good at it. And I'm able to do it in my current line of work. No uniforms required. I am actually fortunate to have landed in a field of work where friendships and made and endure. It's a tight-knit group of people and we all seem to enjoy helping each other out when we can. This is not an industry in which burning bridges is a good idea.

2008 has taken a heavy toll on me though. I didn't plan to even look for work during the first 6 weeks of the year; I wanted to focus on finishing up a few projects around the house. I did not accomplish that. Each passing week got me into a bluer funk until March arrived with a bang -- when txrad spent 2 days in the hospital after a nasty fall, I wrecked my car, and spiraled into a state of depression so severe that the entire month is mostly a blur now.

Positive things are starting to happen again. Spring-like things. New growth, new opportunities. Getting the yard mowed after two years of neglect has had a wonderful impact on my outlook. Getting the garden ready for planting veggies gives me optimism. And within a week I'll be scheduling a contractor to have a new roof and new windows put on the house, both necessary and long overdue. And both very expensive.

Those two projects have had me feeling a lot of anxiety. It will require me tapping into every dime I socked away -- money I have been relying on to get me through prolonged unemployment if necessary. However, these improvements must not be viewed as squandering money, but investing in our house. Should the worst-case scenario prevail and we need to sell and move for whatever reason, that money could be recouped by a higher sales price on a home that is move-in ready with no pending repairs needed.

Finally, the time feels right and I am moving ahead with a feeling of certainty and confidence. And by unblocking myself and my environment to allow some movement and energy flow, I believe the employment picture will soon brighten as well. I welcome the stability. Being in a state of limbo and uncertainly is fun, but only for awhile; 28.8% of my year is quite enough.


Saturday, January 19, 2008

Try.... Just a Little Bit Harder

She would have been, and should have been, 65 today.



For more, check out blueberry and her history.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Celebrating Frank Sinatra

Light posting here since yesterday, very heavy workload compared to recent weeks, and that's likely to be the last burst of work during my final days.

I meant to put this up yesterday and never had time. It would have been Frank Sinatra's 92nd birthday. Does that makes us feel old?

On my way to work, KGSR was doing their Coffee Break Concert where they play 4 songs by one artist and it was Frank. And I rather enjoyed it.





Friday, October 05, 2007

The Hardest Button to Button

txrad's birthday was September 20 and I got him nothing except perhaps a kiss on the lips. But I always keep my eye on the lookout for a deal because there's no time limit for birthday presents as far as I'm concerned. Well, plus or minus four months is acceptable.

A big hat tip goes out to Minstrel Boy who turned me on to this last weekend and I seized the opportunity and ordered it immediately. It was shipped from Ukiah, California on Monday I think. I tracked it all week via UPS (and fantasized about what else I wish was en route to my home from Ukiah, but that's another story).

Every Picture Tells a Story:



















He was excited. Hell, I was excited! The deal of the year. I thought this was probably a used button accordion. But it's clearly new. Just missing a strap to hold it shut. The price could not be beat.

We have smiles on our faces that just won't end. This is a SWEET FRIDAY.




And a very happy 3rd blogiversary to Shakers EVERYWHERE!

Monday, September 24, 2007

What's Up With Widow Women (or #2* in my list of reasons why my mother drives me nuts)

Today is my mother's 84th birthday. I called her this evening to wish her well and to explain that I've been too busy to send the letter I promised last week, and I happened to remember while on the phone with her that I bought her a card about 2 months ago and then forgot about it.









Work's a bitch.

But I digress. What is it with these widow women and their aversion to charity from males? There's a rich millionaire in my hometown who likes to take meals to the old ladies, give them things, etc. My mother has been complaining about this charity for many months now.

She can cook for herself and she can get around in her Lincoln. She knows how to get to Wal-Mart and Sav-Mart and stock up on groceries, and cook what she has procured. (I make a once a year pilgrimage to my motherland and I'm enthralled with the meals. I can't even do them and I'm almost half her age.)

Anyway, this rich dude has been trying to give her a new TV for months. My mother thinks TV is evil. And to be offered one as a gift from a married man, she probably thinks is sinful.

Besides, she likes her old TV with the antenna struggling to catch a signal from 85 miles up the highway.

The old millionaire sent my brother a check for something like $1,800 and told him to go buy her a TV and he'd pay for cable for a year.

Here's what we're doing. My brother has cashed the check, bought a TV (I hope for less than $1200) and put it all out on his living room floor to do a sort of reverse parental control, where you block channels you don't want a parent to see. Comedy Central comes to mind.

There are certain channels, that if she is exposed to them, will send her straight into the grips of hellfire.

So, my mother's birthday is today, and I was talking to her and she said my brother might be coming down for a visit tomorrow. I'm sure he'll have the TV in tow. I just emailed him to ask him what the "story" was so we could be on the same page.

The last time I talked to him we were either going to say we went halvsies on it (fat chance since he can't afford it, and I don't want to afford it) or that he won it in a contest.

That's a pretty big variation in excuses, so we need to be on the same page.

Meanwhile, my mother gets this Wal-Mart gift certificate today for her birthday for $300 from same millionaire. She doesn't want it (she shops at Wal-Mart ALL the fucking time!) and told the guy. He said give it to either of your two sons.

I didn't say I refuse to shop at Wal-Mart so give it to my brother. He needs it more than I. She intervened by saying she's giving it back to the giver.

But that's all beside the point. She doesn't want the card, and she's returning it.

What is wrong with this woman?

I would take the damn thing, and go buy $300 worth of food and give it to a homeless bank. (txrad's idea)

She'll give it back to the giver, and he'll give it to another greedy old white woman who will go to Wal-Mart and squander the thing on worthless nick-nacky shit.

Who deserves it?

Another thing txrad said tonight which makes perfect sense. The rich can take care of the world. If they want to.


*List is NOT in sequential order.


Crossposted at B3 With any luck.