In the Kitchen Today

txrad puts all this effort into making hamburger buns and ketchup and we continue using Boca burgers. So today I am trying another veggie burger recipe involving black beans and black-eyed peas.

I probably should not deviate too much from a recipe right off the bat, but I looked at several recipes and would see something in another that I liked even though the basic recipes were similar.

The 50/50 combo of peas and beans is what I hope works out. Also threw in a dash of Liquid Smoke.

So far, so good. The mixture was a bit sticky but fairly easy to make into balls to chill for 2-3 hours. Looking forward to seeing how these taste tonight.

The recipe said it makes six. I decided to make four since our homemade buns are a bit larger than some store-bought buns.

After getting that cleaned up, I decided to bake some muffins. There weren't as many blueberries in the freezer as I thought, so these are a mix of blueberries and raspberries.

Oh my gawwwd!! Breakfast anyone?

An Explosion of Cranberries

One of my favorite things to do during Thanksgiving is to make up a batch of cranberry sauce. Today was the day! And it's so easy I can't believe anyone buys the shit in a can.

Start out with the juice of a navel orange, and grate most of the skin with it. Add in about half a teaspoon of freshly grated ginger, 1 1/2 cups of sugar, and I toss in a shot of Bouchant. Heat it on medium until the sugar dissolves and it's steaming.

Toss in a 12-ounce bag of those wild and crazy berries and crank the heat up a notch. Start stirring.

Soon they'll start to pop and you are on your way! After about 10 or 12 minutes they should begin to get frothy. This is when I gradually ease off on the heat, and keep stirring.

This will begin to turn into the familiar sight of cranberry sauce. There are always a few who resist popping and when it's pretty obvious you have sauce, and those holdouts don't seem eager to participate, I'll start mashing those against the side of the pan to facilitate the process. Then move the pan off the heat.

At this point I toss in a handful of lightly toasted pecans (that's about half a cup for those of you who insist on measuring EVERYTHING) and stir. Let it cool then chill it in the fridge. I've had a batch of this last me 2 ... even 3 weeks maybe. I figure I'll be making another batch just before Christmas.

Heavenly holiday bliss!

Oh, and while I was doing this, txrad was making hamburger buns!

I'm thinking a dab of cranberry sauce on the veggie burger tonight wouldn't be terribly awful.

Tried and True

With txrad being gone for a week, I'm having to be on my own again with meal preparation. And I would prefer to avoid the frozen entree route, or getting take-out, as much as possible. This is difficult when you work all day and then have to go out to the store after work for ingredients.

We got a recipe from Food Network way back around 2003 or 2004 which was whipped up by Sara Moulton on her show. It's an easy casserole, and doesn't exactly constitute "cooking" since all you do is dump a bunch of things into a bowl to make a sauce and then layer it between cheese, chips and sour cream, and then bake it.

We lived on this once or twice a week for several years until we burned out and moved on to something else.

I decided to go back to this recipe tonight and cut it in half so that it's a meal for one with leftovers for one... that will be Friday's lunch.

You know how sometimes when you cut a recipe in half, it completely changes the texture, flavor, and whatever, and turns out to be a shit meal? That was my concern when I got this thing assembled.

It appeared that I had gone too heavy on the layer of tortilla chips and too light on the tomato sauce. So in the end, before going in the oven, I poured some Stubb's BBQ sauce over the top....something we had never done in the past.

I sliced up an avocado to accompany this casserole, except you can't really save leftover avocado very easily, so I ate the whole thing. I guess it was pretty good and exceeded my early expectations.

The Biggest Chiffonade in the Fucking World!

Believe it or not, I rolled up 12 or 14 outrageously large collard leaves tonight and did a chiffonade! That is an 8" chef's knife for those of you who like to measure.

Soon to be outdone by txrad's fluorescent macaroni & cheese sauce.

The collards are not from our garden although we have some growing. These came from California and I can definitely taste the difference. In a blind raw taste test, I'd know which ones are from our soil. We think the California fields might not have had a sufficient freeze to impart the perfect collard flavor. And we are probably correct.

Less Fastly, More Slowly

This might be one of the most beautiful op-ed pieces I've ever read.

Sunday Night Pizza Blogging: The Pizza Pot Pie Edition

Dedicated to Joe Santos of New York-style pizza fame.

First get your 3 teaspoons of yeast going in a cup of warm water with 1/2 teaspoon of salt and sugar. Then add 2 3/4 cups of flour. I use a blend of whole wheat and bread flour. Adjust to your preferences. Pour in enough olive oil during a count to 8. Put in a KitchenAid with a dough hook for 3 minutes then massage, cover in olive oil and let it sit in a warm oven for an hour or so.

Then the fun begins.

Start with the meat substitute. Or use real meat if you are that way.

Meanwhile, I prepare the onions and jalapeño.

Next up is a large portobello and a couple of garlic cloves (not pictured).

Once all that is sauteed, time to assemble. Spread that dough and create a well of some depth to hold all the shit that's going on top.

The dough does on a base of corn meal, and then a layer of tomato sauce goes on the dough. Then the mozzarella.

The gloppy topping of fake meat, onion, garlic, and jalapeño go on top.

Then the Roma tomato. Bake at 450 for 17 minutes then add the fresh basil picked from your own garden. Garnish with a generous amount of parmesan cheese which we do NOT have tonight, and enjoy.

Put your three feet up and relax and watch a James Bond flick or something.

The First Dinner Party Frenzy

Question of the Day:

How did you celebrate the 4th?

txrad and I hosted a dinner party for four friends, Witchay Woman and her husband came down from Dallas, and our two neighbors from next door walked over in the brutal afternoon heat around 6:15.

I've been saying this is my first party since the mid-1980s which is kinda sorta true, but the one I threw back then was more of a drug and alcohol party with a few dips and chips as opposed to a real sit-down-at-a-table dinner party like my mama used to throw.

I had promised to do this back in early May but I didn't set a firm date until about 2 weeks ago when we all agreed on July 4th as the best date. And it's rather funny that most of my anxiety melted away as soon as I had a concrete date set for this party.

If I was going to host a dinner party, I knew this would not be a large affair with paper plates and paper napkins and just a lot of things to munch on. I immediately set about trying to get things coordinated for a nice presentation. I had selected six bright yellow place mats, some striped muted earth tone cloth napkins, black slate coasters for our drinks, and a simple floral display or two. I didn't want a formal foo-foo affair, just a warm and inviting French rustic country feeling.

All of this was procured at Crate & Barrel for a reasonable price at no cost to me on a gift card. I also was able to pick up a set of glassware, four tall glasses and four short glasses, plus two heavy short glasses intended for savoring my scotch whisky.

It occurred to me later that I was now faced with having to mix & match glasses as well as eating utensils since I only had those in sets of four, not six. But I found an easy work-around for that: serve the four guests with the matching glasses and forks, and txrad and I would take the mis-matched pieces. Voila, problem solved.

The most time-consuming aspect of this party was simply getting the house in order. Rooms needed to be vacuumed, bathrooms needed to be cleaned, everything needed dusting, and the kitchen counters needed to be thoroughly cleaned which necessitated moving everything off them, and then moving everything back.

Food preparation was never much of a concern of mine since we cook every night of the week. I just needed to triple the effort, or so I thought.

txrad started soaking pinto beans on Friday night. Saturday morning he made the lime bars with a pecan crust (pictured left) for the dessert, then in the early afternoon he made the pico the gallo and got the beans cooking. I was cleaning up after him each step of the way to avoid having the kitchen be a disaster by the end of the night which unfortunately proved to be inevitable! But I think my efforts prevented it from being much worse than it was (and still is at the time I'm writing this).



Once his dishes were done, I needed to start prepping for the green corn tamale casserole and guacamole. This had to be carefully planned -- particularly with the guacamole.

At 4:00 I started shucking ten ears of corn. I was a bit surprised how time consuming that can be, even though I've made this dish before. It had been three years at least. Then the corn needed to be cut off the cob. I premixed the dry ingredients and set those aside, put aside the loose corn, and then proceeded to roast the four Anaheim chilies.

It was almost 5:30 and I was feeling a little tinge of stress since the guests were invited to come around 6:00-ish. I had really wanted to have everything prepped by the time guests arrived so that I could I started chopping the cilantro for the guacamole. As soon as I was done I remembered that I needed to saute some garlic and onion. I got that going around 5:45 and the pressure was building. As far as the guacamole was concerned, I needed to get that ready... now. txrad suggested we do a tequila shot to calm our nerves, and we did.

It was 6:00 when I started slicing three large avocados which was, shall we say, a messy endeavor. I was praying that no one was going to show up on time! I managed to get the lemon juiced and added to the mixture along with the lightly sauteed onions and garlic, and was dicing the tomato when the neighbors walked up.

"The door is open," I yelled. My hands were covered in tomato juice. This is the point where the train began to derail.

We had barely had time to hug when Witchay Woman and her husband (Alton II, as in the "other" Alton Brown) walked in bearing hummus dip, and bags of additional prep materials complete with serving dishes. So while five minutes earlier I felt I had a grip -- if a bit rushed -- on my activities, suddenly I had a kitchen full of people, and Alton II preparing two separate hummus presentations.

My mind started going a bit haywire. I needed to offer them drinks, I needed to pay attention to the conversation which was already loud and spirited, I needed to keep my wits about me so I would not leave out a key ingredient in my own prep work.

Alton II was happy with a Shiner beer, so that was easy. Witchay Woman wanted a glass of white wine, and the neighbors were content with ice water while waiting on the margaritas. That was another project on my to-do list. I decided to open myself a beer.

When it's just txrad and me in the kitchen, I can be somewhat intoxicated and still have my wits about me to get my portion of the meal prep together. Something about a party environment throws everything askew and I was already feeling buzzed and disoriented! In terms of my progress in getting the meal together I was not in a bad place; the guacamole was done -- although it was not up to my usual standard -- and was completely upstaged by Alton II and his hummus dip art. But it was done.

I stood there munching on carrots dipped in hummus, pita bread, and chips with guacamole, in a slight daze for what might have been 20 minutes. Then I realized 7:00 was fast approaching. My goal had been to have the meal ready by 7:30 at the latest. Reality kicked in and I needed to slice the Anaheim chilies, and line the casserole dish with those and the cheese. I had to puree the corn in two separate batches, dump that in a bowl, and stir in the dry ingredients, plus add sour cream and 4 ounces of soft butter.

At this point I was feeling completely frazzled. I quickly "softened" the butter in the microwave (translation: I put it in there just long enough for it to soften on the outside, not so much on the inside of the stick) and dumped that into the corn mixture and began to stir vigorously until I thought everything was well-mixed.

As I poured the corn mixture on top the cheese and Anaheim chilies and began to spread it out, I saw a big glob of unmelted butter. Shit! I thought to myself, "man, you have got to get it together, you are out of control."

I spooned a lot of the corn mixture back out of the casserole dish and into the mixing bowl to get the butter mixed a bit more thoroughly. I was hoping when this was baked that somebody wasn't going to bite into a big spoon of butter.

Knowing that this would need to bake for probably 30-35 minutes, I was able to breathe a sigh of slight relief once I had that in the oven. I could move to to making the margaritas which were now overdue, and txrad could handle making the rice which would complete the meal.

I quickly emptied the frozen sweet Lime juice concentrate into the blender, added lots of ice, a very generous amount of tequila, and a shot or two of Bauchant orange liqueur. Within seconds I had a thick frozen blender of margaritas which I served up to the guests. After one sip I knew these were incredibly strong, and almost icky-sweet. I pondered that for a few minutes and realized I forgot to add fresh lime juice which cuts the sweetness and provides more balance to the drink.

I jumped up and sliced a couple of limes and explained my error. Some seemed to enjoy the margaritas as they were, and others were eager for the fresh lime juice. I promised to remember to add more fresh lime juice to the next batch.

Meanwhile, txrad was on his own in the kitchen and he motioned for me to come over. It seems he had accidentally turned off the rice prematurely at some point and he showed me the pan of rice sitting in tomato water as it was waiting to come to a simmer again. Ugh! More dinner party drama!

My plans for a 7:30 at the latest dinner serving was now on the verge of running an hour late. The casserole was out of the oven, the beans were ready, everything was ready except the rice. After 15 minutes or so, an inspection of the rice gave the appearance that it might have worked out after all.

I whipped up another batch of margaritas -- including fresh-squeezed lime juice -- and dinner was served.... probably around 8:30.

While this was not the best meal we've ever made, nor was it the best green corn tamale batch I've ever made, it was decent, and appeared to be well-received and enjoyed. Afterward, the lime bars with the pecan crust capped everything off nicely, even if there was a bit of lime overkill between those and the margaritas.

Mission accomplished. Dinner served to four guests without any major mishaps. But there were some lessons learned from this experience. Prepping as much as possible before the guests arrive is a key factor, especially if you are not accustomed to food preparation in the midst of distractions. I am definitely making a note to self on that point.

I walked away from this with an enhanced appreciation for people who are able to do this type of thing fairly often, as my mother used to do. She would have dinner parties for 8, 10, even 12 people sometimes, with down-home southern meals involving a meat dish, several different vegetables, salads, and dessert, and then coffee. I also am amazed that there are people who can simultaneously get a meal together while remaining involved in conversation with their guests.

Honestly, I am awe of that talent. I suppose it gets easier with practice, but still.

It was a long day and a lot of work. And there was nothing I wanted more than a good long night of sleep after the guests had departed around 11:00. Unfortunately, there was yet another unexpected party surprise awaiting me. txrad and I are not big consumers of sugar. We rarely have any kind of dessert in the evening, nor do we drink sweet cocktails at night.

Aside from a small sweet lime bar for dessert (not to mention the corn casserole which was sweet), there was the issue of the Lime-Ade concentrate which was packed with high-fructose corn syrup. Two batches of that and 2-3 margaritas later, I was both exhausted and wired. As I commented earlier this morning on my Facebook status, "high-fructose corn syrup in the margarita lime-aid is like LSD... like the "brown acid" at Woodstock."

I may have logged about 3 total hours of sleep last night, and even that wasn't quality. Another note to self: no sweet margaritas unless it's a lunch party! Or better yet, make my own margarita mix and control the sugar.

All in all, it was a fun gathering though. And I now know through experience what I can do to make the next one go just a little bit smoother. I'll plan that for sometime in 2012.

Time for me to get in the kitchen and finish cleaning up this carnage. I threw my first dinner party ever, and was so befuddled I didn't manage to get a single picture while the guests were here. Just a before shot, and an after shot. It didn't even cross my mind while they were here!

I Love This Woman!

And I can hardly believe what she did on Friday.

A Williams-Sonoma Observation

I'm going to try and be nice here. If I ever bad-mouth a national chain I get the police trolls trying to rectify the situation. I like Williams-Sonoma. I really do. I spent close to an hour in there today examining just about everything. And this is the second time I've gone there with gift card in hand trying to find something to buy.

The first time I walked away empty-handed from that store as well as Pottery Barn where the card is also valid. Today I still didn't really see anything at Pottery Barn and decided to swing through Williams-Sonoma again, determined to buy something.

And I found two things, both recommended by txrad. This silicone mat for rolling dough or baking may come in handy since I have become rather fond of rolling out pie dough, and txrad may bake some cookies occasionally.

He also wanted this garlic press which, although apparently designed in Germany, is made in China and therefore should have cost about $8 max.

Question of the Day: Take a wild guess what we spent on these two items? Make a note of your guess in comments and then take a look at the sales receipt here.

Honestly, I don't understand how people can afford to shop at these stores. Not that there aren't some wonderful things in there which might be well worth the money spent. I saw a few chef's knives I would love but I already have a great knife set. There's just nothing I really need at the moment but these two items will get some usage.

I have a theory that Williams-Sonoma exists primarily as a wedding registry for people who want other people to buy them nice gifts. I would love to know what percentage of the clientele go there and buy stuff for themselves.

Yes, it's nice stuff. But there's no reason why a mom & pop hardware store couldn't sell the same stuff without the same price tag. And then I wouldn't be subsidizing mall rent in the Nordstrom wing.

Dicks, Tofu & Silkworms

We were mesmerized tonight by a program on the Travel Channel by Andrew.

I would love to visit Vietnam. I love the look of the cities -- very Cuban but without the politics. But the food.... yum.

I may be gay, but the idea of making a meal out of testicles and penises does not entice me. Nor does a munch on scorpions or silkworms.

But since 9% of the population of the country is Buddhist, I'm quite sure there's vegetarian cuisine buried in there somewhere, with all of the other lovely herbs and spices which infuse that country.

Hanoi must rock. Sorry but in deference to Toast I shall not post any stupid music videos of Hanoi Rocks.

Food From Scratch

txrad has a great question of the day:

What do you make in the kitchen from scratch that most people buy already made in a store?

I make pizza dough from scratch, and pie crusts. And thanks to Minstrel Boy, cranberry sauce. God I LOVE that stuff!

txrad takes it to a whole new level. I have been trying to get him to make burger buns and for the past few weeks he's been doing it. He also makes the veggie sausages for our pizza topping and he makes BBQ sauce for our burgers. We used to buy veggie sausage at the store and it was about $3.49 per tube.

I would like to start making the veggie burgers from scratch instead of buying Boca. I love their spicy chik'n veggie patties but lately they've been sold out at HEB. I could remedy that problem very easily.

Books for the Holidays

Looking for that special gift for that special someone in you life? Next time you are in Barnes & Noble, be sure to ask for this by name.

I don't know about you, but I could sure get into some battered testicles.

The Testicle Cookbook: Cooking With Balls has been hailed as the world's first testicle recipe collection and includes testicle pizza, battered testicles and barbecued testicles with giblets.

For the first time in my life, I'm actually turned off by the thought of pizza.

Crossposted at B3

My Very Very Gay Thanksgiving

I'm starting to understand the opposition to same-sex marriage. My afternoon in the kitchen is proof that gays do indeed pose a threat to the sanctity of marriage.

The making of cranberry sauce went off without a hitch except for the contrary faces made by txrad at my finished product. You see, he's not much of a berry guy whereas I worship all berries. He likes the flavor of them but doesn't care much for the texture, especially if they have seeds like blackberries. But he'll eat some cranberry sauce tonight if I have to shove it in his mouth.

I started with this orange juice and brown Turbinado sugar concoction with some fresh grated ginger. This recipe is one posted by Minstrel Boy back in 2006 with an update today at Group News Blog in which I noticed he was using brown sugar, so I decided to give it a go. (Of course I fucked up and didn't use a wooden spoon as per instructions but... I'm a Taurus.)

Once that came to a slight boil I tossed in the bag of cranberries. In a few minutes you start to hear them squeaking and popping. I stirred frequently and they soon turn into delectable glop.

I added in the 1/2 cup of pecans which I had toasted a bit earlier, stirred, and then it was ready to pop in the fridge.

Beautiful and DELICIOUS!

Then came the pie dough episode. I did everything right and I'm sure my pie crust will be the best I've ever made. The only minor malfunction was that I used a recipe for a deep-dish pie and we have a regular pie dish. I poured the pumpkin mixture into the pie dish -- every last precious drop. I asked txrad to hold open the oven door while I moved the pie into the oven. After about two steps the pie filling began to roll back and forth and I heard a few splatters on the floor near my feet. So I instructed him to close the door and I retreated back to the counter to reassess the situation.

I got tons of grief over this along with insinuations that I was an imbecile. I gathered my nerves and made a second attempt which was successful without even one small spill. Then I began cleaning up during which time another round of squabbling ensued.

I had rolled out the pie dough on a marble slab after being told not to use the cutting board due to the grease in the butter. There was a small ball of dough leftover which I was using to wipe up excess flour. Oh, this did not meet the approval of my Virgo mate.

"You're smearing fat around," he proclaimed.

I said, "I'm using the dough to mop up flour."

"But your smearing fat all over the slab," he continued.

Then I mashed the dough between the palms of my hands to lock in the flour before tossing it outside for whatever varmint might want to eat it.

txrad was horrified. "Now both your hands are greasy! Let me get open the door. I don't want grease on everything."

"I'm about to pop you over the head with this pie dough ball," I retorted.

Then I started wiping off the marble slab with a sponge and txrad blurted out, "you need to use soap!!"

I was fighting the urge to say "pack your shit and get out!"

I should know better than to allow him anywhere near the kitchen when I'm doing any cooking. He can be highly critical when we go to a restaurant as he observes every motion of the staff and especially if he has a view of the kitchen area. I suppose I could have tied him up to the bed while I was doing all my feastly Thanksgiving duties.

All of this caused me to have a revelation late this afternoon. Gay couples cannot be fit for legal marriage because no straight couples EVER have such an episode in the kitchen. Heterosexual couples function in the kitchen as one -- we all know that is a fact.

I'm going to start calling him "collardhead."

Thankfully, my kitchen chores are done except for boiling the collards. txrad is in control of the rest of the meal.

If I hadn't already seen Home For The Holidays again just a few weeks ago, I'd be in the mood to watch it tonight.

Cuisine Cadienne

I present you with the Holy Trinity: Bell pepper, celery and onion.

Steve Earle
Ray Wylie Hubbard
James McMurtry

All beautiful Texans.

Bullshit!

A cast away from Creatures of Habitat.

I Heart Cookware

It's always fun when a delivery truck arrives with a box. And nothing makes me happier than fine professional cookware. We love the Scanpan line: they are heavy-duty and high quality.

A few years ago I ordered a set and it included a free nonstick fry-pan. We weren't sure we'd use it but it came in real handy for stir-frying the toppings for pizza. It wasn't supposed to ever chip or flake but it did. Back in mid-July I decided to order a replacement. They make them now with a "Greentek" protective coating without PFOA.

It's never a good idea to allow me to get on the inner tubes to order something like this because I ALWAYS find something else to add to the order and some good excuses to back up my decision. In this case it was free shipping over x amount and a discount over x amount.

The order was delayed because the warehouse was moving from the east coast to the west coast. But the box arrived today.

They made a few interesting changes in the designs since we last ordered. This is pretty cool. The name is reflected onto the lid from under the handle.

Here's the rest of the haul. The lid above fits the steamer which has staggered grooves on it to fit several sizes of our sauce pans. I really love the copper color on the little sauce pan. It's smaller than any in the set we bought but a small saucepan comes in handy sometimes.

Lastly, the fry-pan. The old one had a plastic handle. I like the professional look of this one with the steel handle.

What's funny is that when we ordered our set a few years back, I ordered a steamer. It was damaged so I had to send it back to be replaced. What they replaced it with was not a steamer but a double boiler. I never bothered to send that back even though I don't think we've ever used it. I figured since I was ordering a skillet, I might as well go ahead and get the steamer... finally.

And then that saucepan caught my eye. Must.... have... it.

Txrad Has Been in the Kitchen

Lord have mercy. I worked from home today and it was pretty relentless from about 7:45 this morning until 5:30 this afternoon. txrad was apparently eager to get back in his own kitchen after being away for 6 days.

He whipped up a black eyed pea salad with corn and red pepper he roasted earlier today. And slaw made with purple cabbage. Both of these are exquisite. YUM!

Simple Obsessions

Christina Pirello is the author of cookbooks and has a cooking show on PBS called Christina Cooks. txrad has been watching it for a few weeks and it's quite entertaining. She prepares vegan meals using whole foods and natural ingredients.

The attraction for me began when I saw Christina pull a wooden spoon from a drawer and I experienced love at first sight. Not for Christina, but the spoon!

We had a very nice wooden spoon which txrad would use to stir-fry toppings for our pizzas and I broke it one day while scrubbing it in the sink. Being unable to find a suitable replacement I finally bought a plain cheap wooden spatula to use until I could find my dream spoon. The spatula is ugly and rough; it offers a very unpleasant feel in the hand and has absolutely no charm. I'm surprised I haven't gotten a splinter in my fingers yet.

I had tried to send an email to Christina but it came back undeliverable. Last night we were watching the show and once again she whipped out that spoon and my lust went into overdrive.

I raced to the computer and began searching on the internet using certain keywords which I hoped would yield the desired results. Bingo! On Christina's website, there is a sidebar column with a section titled "Things I Love" with a link to "People and Things." As I frantically scrolled through the list I was suddenly confronted with a section labeled "Jonathan's Spoons" with a link to another website.

Voila!

Those of you who know me know I am prone to oddball antics. I tend to get excited by things which others might view as being.... um... queer. Odd. Seven bottles short of a 6-pack.

I have my own theories about the art of cooking. It should be a sensual experience, not simply a chore in order to have a delicious meal when you're done. The utensils should be a delight and fun to use as should the cookware. I am thoroughly satisfied with our tools in the kitchen but the absence of a favorite wooden spoon had created a gaping hole in the sensuality department.

Finding a source for these spoons as well as others was the most exciting thing to happen to me all year. More importantly, there are two retailers right here in Austin which carry Jonathan's Spoons. I will be heading out later today to fondle them all and hope to return home with the object of my lustful desire: the "spotted slim spoon." And then I shall find something to cook.

To quote Jerri Blank, just looking at this spoon makes me "moist as a sponge cake down there."

Making Cranberry Sauce

During this holiday season, obscene numbers of canned cranberry sauce will be purchased in the US, and perhaps consumed, however reluctantly, by millions. STOP!

Making cranberry sauce is not only incredibly easy, it's actually fun. I made my first batch last year using Minstrel Boy's Killer Kranberry Sauce recipe and I swear I'll never buy another can for as long as I live.

I just made a batch and thoroughly enjoyed the experience yet again.

Here's all you need. Easy.

Everything but the lovely cranberries are in the saucepan being brought to a slow boil.

To enhance the experience, open up a nice Italian Masi Campofiorin and sip while finishing the sauce. (Thanks to litbrit for that wine tip last year.) We'll get right to work on what's left in that tequila bottle shortly.

Dump in those luscious berries and away we go.

Within a few minutes those plump berries will pop, the color will begin to change, and suddenly you have the most delectable cranberry sauce imaginable. Take them off the stove, toss in the roasted pecans, and get ready to rock & roll.

In case you are unsure about how long to roast the pecans, as I was, I just put them on the tray from my toaster oven which is under the saucepan in the above photo. I put them in a 250-degree regular oven for about 15 minutes.