Mother's Milk is best

I'm sure you remember this uproar from several days ago with irate readers who were offended by this magazine cover of a baby sucking a breast.



Yesterday afternoon I ran out to pick up a few groceries and heard an ad on the radio for the Mother’s Milk Bank in Austin seeking donations of breast milk from healthy women who have a surplus.

Being a gay man, there's a lot I don't know about women -- especially when it comes to breast milk. I'd never even pondered the concept of a woman donating unused milk to a "bank" to be distributed to women who, for whatever reason, cannot produce an adequate amount. Apparently there are only 7 such "milk banks" in the country, but what a great charitable donation!



I can't help but wonder what those offended readers of Baby Talk magazine and assorted breast-phobic fundamentalists would think about the radio ad I heard. The ad ran on KGSR which is (my opinion) a liberal radio station here in Austin.

Back in the mid-80s when I was messing around with various drugs, I recall an episode when I had an idea. There was cheese from cows, goats and sheep. Why not human breast milk? That memory flashed through my mind yesterday after I heard the radio ad.

Now that 2 decades have passed and you can google anything for information, I found some interesting info this morning.

One woman tried making paneer* from her own breast milk and failed, claiming the protein content isn't high enough to cause the milk to curdle.

*The link I placed wouldn't work so try this: http://www.indrani.net/index.php?q=2006/03/breast_milk_cheese

However, upon further research I have another site with an article about an entrepreneur who has successfully created and is marketing packaged breast milk and cheese made from breast milk under the brand "Hooterville Farms." I'm not making this up. But why put a cow on the label? Is this not a misrepresentation of the product's origins?



"I didn't know a thing about dairy farming," says Ross Marker, Hooterville Farms' founder. "Hell, I didn't know a damn thing about anything! But the solution was right there, bouncing in front of my face every night!"

You can read more in the LaLa Times article.

OK, so it's a spoof. I was falling for it.