I Don't Care If You Can Play Guitar Behind Your Neck

I applied for a job today which I received notice of via LinkedIn. Not because I wanted it but because I was curious.

And a short time later I got a phone call from a previous employer offering me 25% more than my current salary.

I love my job but 25% pays my mortgage. And I'm among old friends. But some of my newer friends at the current joint seem older.

Oh, and I'd be working from home. But the new clients are far less prestigious.

So, what the fuck do I do? And my boss is in Italy for a much-deserved vacation but I need to make a decision by Tuesday of next week. This ain't gonna be painless for everyone involved, I can assure you.

This doesn't even take into account the job I applied for via the LinkedIn connection.

I'm not sure where to go next. It seems so gladiatorial. I'd rather get rich, fund something and die.

The Shopping Spree That Wasn't

It's a tough life when you struggle to spend money that isn't coming out of your own income. Last year I needed to cancel my American Express card and since I didn't want to lose a bunch of accumulated miles, I cashed them out for various things -- mostly gift cards. I have a $100 Pottery Barn card and a $200 Crate & Barrel card remaining.

We have been wanting a new rug for the kitchen -- one with the rubber backing so it won't slip around. Not only were we unable to find one at Pottery Barn, I really didn't see anything else I wanted either. Well, not for $100. I saw a desk I liked and $100 would barely have covered the sales tax, so we won't go there.

Pottery Barn is owned by Williams Sonoma and I'm pretty sure the card can be used at either store. There is a Williams Sonoma in the mall where we visited the Pottery Barn and it didn't even cross my mind to pop in there. I'll do that next time I'm at the mall.

Meanwhile, I still had two debit cards from when I got my phones back in December. That's how AT&T issues rebates and it's not terribly convenient unless you are buying something that costs over $50 and you can use the card up in one shot. I've made a few small purchases here and there and had to keep track of the balance on each card so that I can instruct the cashiers exactly how much to charge on the card when I'm spending the remaining balance. And as if that's not annoying enough, the cards expire on June 30 so I have to use them or lose them.

We hung about in Barnes & Noble for a long time browsing cookbooks and I almost bought one. Unfortunately, I forgot my B&N discount membership card so that took a lot of steam out of my buying excitement. We left with no purchases and went across the highway to a Linens & Things.

We found our rug. On sale. Half off! And I used up one rebate card and about half the balance on the remaining card. That's my feel good moment for the day.

The rug looks way nicer than that dirty white one. It doesn't exactly go with our flooring but that old shit is going to be history pretty soon. The rug will look great with the next floor.

Now I have $6.81 left to spend in my rebate debit card. I'll be a big spender on Monday.

(PS: The rug is made in the USA! Will wonders never cease?)

I Prefer the Old Alice Cooper

And by old, I don't mean the current 60-year-old member of the Phoenix Country Club which bars women from the men's grill room. Sounds very Talibany. I prefer the old Alice you see in the music video I've had in my sidebar for about a week (and will soon be changing).

According to a 2007 club directory, Mr. [John] McCain’s son, Andrew, is a member, along with scores of other notable Phoenix residents, including the rocker Alice Cooper.

Sigh... Whatever. It's a free country. Who am I to try and comprehend ridiculosity?

Women at the club are not permitted to have lunch in the men’s grill room with their husbands after a round of golf; they have been barred from trophy ceremonies after tournaments, even ones they have sponsored, and may not participate in one of the most sacred rituals of the men’s grill room — sealing a deal over a beer with a client.

“If at three in the afternoon I wanted to have a business cocktail, there wasn’t any place to go,” said Vicki King, whose husband recently resigned from the club. Ms. King had privileges at the club as the spouse of a member.

As teenage boys saunter into the sumptuously appointed men’s grill room, their mothers are relegated to the ladies’ grill, down the hall with a hot plate, some card tables and no bar.

What a life.


I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
--Groucho Marx

I Have Little Sympathy for Dutch Smokers

Boo hoo. Amsterdam is bracing for a smoking ban. Tobacco, that is.

The Health Ministry says the ban will apply to cafes that sell marijuana, known as coffee shops. But this being Holland, which for centuries has experimented with social liberalism, there's a loophole: The ban covers tobacco but not marijuana, which is technically illegal anyway.

But that still leaves coffee shops and their customers in a bind. Dutch and other European marijuana users traditionally smoke pot in fat, cone-shaped joints mixed with tobacco.

"It's the world upside down: In other countries they look for the marijuana in the cigarette. Here they look for the cigarette in the marijuana," said Jason den Enting, manager of coffee shop Dampkring.

Compared to the situation here in the US with marijuana laws, I still find Holland to be a .. breath of fresh air. So get over it. Life doesn't end with a smoking ban in bars and restaurants. Enjoy a brownie, roll a fat one, take it home and pop in a DVD. Hey, life could be worse.

We're Good (for a Friday night)

I've got this crud behind me hear which I cannot dislodge.

I will hear you thouugh.

I scratch myself until I nearly bleed.

I should focus on that area while I'm showering for work.. Which thankfully I don't have to do until Monday...which is really Thursday...my favorite day of the week..

But in the meantime, a pool party with BBQ corn.

Yum fuckin' yum.



Me to txrad: You are begging me to drag out my butt harp.

Loose screws and all.

I can hear a hidden note.

Woody Allen better be at George Carlin's funeral. Is he having one??

Friday Pussy Blog: Tot Love Edition

I'm taking the easy route today with just a few pictures of the Tot, but in some of my favorite poses. He loves for me to rub his chin and throat.

He's also very generous in allowing me to hold him by his hands like this and he'll start licking me. Once in awhile I can move one hand away to give his big lunch sack (see below) a rub, or to fondle a Tot nipple. Yes, they do get erect.

This boy is spoiled rotten.

Happy Friday. Yeee haaa!

The News is SOOOO Good, I Need Higher Definition to Enhance My Appreciation

It's been about 31 months since I blew my anticipated $1500 HDTV budget on a big-ass 70-inch Sony tv which cost about five times as much. That's typical konagod. And in typical konagod procrastination, I'm just now getting around to upgrading my Dish Network service to an HD package. Here's the new dish.

I was a bit surprised to learn that we were not replacing our existing dish (which we still need for standard definition broadcasts), but we need a 2nd dish for the HDTV stuff. The old one is the one you can see in this next shot below -- the dish closer to the house, and the new one is installed on a post out by that tree left of center. Neither dish is really obnoxiously in your face -- especially not from the patio so I'm happy about that.

And boy, I can hardly wait to turn on the news tonight. It wasn't exactly a slow news day.

A barrage of bad news including yet another record high for oil drove stocks sharply lower Thursday, hurtling the Dow Jones industrials down nearly 360 points to their lowest level in almost two years.

The market also worried about fresh signs of trouble in the financial, high-tech and automotive industries. Negative analyst comments sent shares of General Motors Corp. stock to their lowest point in more than three decades.

Oil futures shot past $140 after the head of OPEC predicted the price of a barrel of crude could rise well over $150 this year and Libya said it may cut oil production.

Are we having fun yet? That's enough to overshadow the latest 5-4 Supreme Court ruling. Hey, look on the bright side. As the situation continues to deteriorate, we can start blowing our heads off if necessary.

Here we go....

Hibiscus Heaven

This pretty one will be going there soon. I had to get a photo quickly because I think it's about to close up and tomorrow it'll just be a memory. The red hibiscus in the back has been going wild lately.

This is a far more pleasant way to end the day (I'm not saying I'm done yet!) than a rant about the Supreme Court or misleading poll headlines. But I just can't help myself. If it irritates me to the core, I'm gonna blog about it. Especially if I already have a head start on irritation after a hectic day at work.

Another 5-4 Supreme Court Decision

The Supreme Court worries the hell out of me with these 5-4 decisions. Even though they usually have been the right decisions, I'm a firm believer that right decisions shouldn't be decided by one vote margins; they should be overwhelming.

The Supreme Court ruled, 5 to 4, on Wednesday that sentencing someone to death for raping a child is unconstitutional, assuming that the victim is not killed.

We are essentially one bad Supreme Court appointment away from being a big step closer to Iran or China, and therefore less "American" -- whatever the hell that means. Hell, even Mexico abolished the death penalty in 2005!

“The death penalty is not a proportional punishment for the rape of a child,” Justice Anthony M. Kennedy wrote for the court. He was joined by Justices John Paul Stevens, David H. Souter, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen G. Breyer.

The court overturned a ruling by the Louisiana Supreme Court, which had held that child rape is unique in the harm it inflicts not just upon the victim but on society and that, short of first-degree murder, no crime is more deserving of the death penalty.

[...]

The dissenters were Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. and Justices Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas and Samuel A. Alito Jr., generally regarded as the conservative wing of the tribunal.

"Generally regarded?" Please. Allow me to dissent. They are the obnoxiously fascist wing of the tribunal. Killing people for their crimes is not a conservative value.

Poll: Most Americans Can't Find Their Own Assholes

And many of those don't even vote. But, I don’t get this. Can someone explain it to me? Explain how "voters think McCain is better suited to handle Iraq" than Obama?

The public's stance on the war is as equivocal as McCain's is not: A strong majority of Americans oppose it and believe it was wrong in the first place, but more find McCain better suited to handle Iraq than his Democratic presidential rival, Barack Obama.

"He's more experienced militarily," said Ann Burkes, a registered Democrat and retired third-grade teacher from Broken Arrow, Okla. "And I don't know if I agree with stay-the-course (policy), but I think the good probably outweighs the bad with him, experience-wise."

Gee, do we want out or not? Can we make up our fucking minds?

Here's the deal: 55% of independents don't think McCain is better. And another 12% think both candidates could deal with Iraq effectively. So that's 67% who would not agree with the statement that McCain is clearly better able to handle Iraq.

Among Democrats, it's 72% who don't think McCain is better, and a total of 83% who would disagree with the statement that McCain is clearly better able to handle Iraq.

And does anybody really give a whirling rat's ass what Republicans think? Let's go there anyway. 16% don't believe McCain is better. And a total of 24% of Republicans -- nearly 1 in 4 -- would apparently, based on my interpretation of this poll, disagree that McCain alone is the best of the two in handling Iraq.

So, where in the name of hell did they come up with the title of the article linked at the beginning of this post?

Voters say McCain better suited to handle Iraq than Obama

It seems to me, that should read, "Some voters...." and yes, we already know that some voters are eternally stupid, blind in their allegiance, and honestly, probably just not paying close attention. And this bit just really has me in a tizzy:

For McCain, there is a major complication. Not all those voters who perceive him as stronger on Iraq say they will vote for him for president.

McCain has a bigger complication. Even if all those voters DID vote for him for president, it shouldn't matter. He should still lose. McCain has two major complications: McCain, and the Republican Party.

Screw them both. And screw stupid polls. Screw Yahoo and screw the AP.

Did I leave anyone out to screw who deserves it?

I'm Getting Am Sick of the Media

What is this "Team Obama" bullshit?

This isn't the Olympics. This is not "Team USA" we're dealing with. It's a fucking ELECTION.

Obama has ideas. So does McCain. Where does the "team" shit come into play?

God damn.

I'll let the dead speak for me.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum Supermarket

txrad went to the store today to buy everything we needed to have veggie burgers tonight except for.... veggie burgers.

I volunteered to run get them around 7:40. I figured since I was out I might as well fetch the smallest possible bottle of tequila. I mean, George Carlin is dead. We must have a wake, right?

So I popped into my neighborhood purveyor of fine beers, wine and booze and the manager said, "You'll never guess who you just missed!"

Tommy Lee Jones had just staggered in, drunk as shit, and trying to find beer. Lucky for him, he had a sober driver. He purchased a 12-pack of Miller Lite. There goes ALL my respect for the guy.

The manager knew it was him but it was confirmed when he attempted to pay with an American Express card with his name on it. They don't take AMEX at that joint so he had to dig around for the cash.

My friend the manager suspected he'd been out at a "titty bar." He stank of "tequila and beer."

Damn. If only txrad had realized he forgot to buy veggie burgers just a few minutes earlier. I could have had a memorable celebrity sighting. But I didn't have my camera anyway.

RIP George Carlin

He was only 71. And I can't believe it's been 5 1/2 years since we saw him at the Paramount here in Austin. I would have guessed about three.

Well, I'm breaking my promise made in the last post. How can I lighten up when an icon has passed away? One of the few sane minds to be found. Someone who can literally bring me to tears from laughing. And someone who has his finger directly on the pulse of every single thing that is fucked up in the world.

We needed his voice and we needed more people to listen. And we needed him around for at least another decade. We have the profound works he left behind to keep us on our toes. But unfortunately, we're on our own going forward. And that "big red white and blue dick will continue to be rammed up our assholes every day."

I Promise I'll Lighten Up Tomorrow

OK?

Papieren Bitte!

I wasn't kidding earlier about Mexico. Angelos says fuck you. No, actually he said, "Fuck. You."

Subtle difference.

Washington, DC - Hidden deep in Senator Christopher Dodd's 630-page Senate housing legislation is a sweeping provision that affects the privacy and operation of nearly all of America’s small businesses. The provision, which was added by the bill's managers without debate this week, would require the nation's payment systems to track, aggregate, and report information on nearly every electronic transaction to the federal government.

This is getting irritating, and I'm being WAAAY too kind.

Angelos got the email tip from The Dark Wraith. So did Melissa McEwan. Somehow I missed it. Thank God I read blogs.

Crossposted at Big Brass Blog with a barb.

Returning Migrants Hope to Reshape Mexico

From the Austin American-Statesman.

Some migrant laborers returning to Mexico are deciding to run for political office in an attempt to bring about long-overdue change.

"I want to create jobs so that other young people don't have to migrate," said Benítez, who works for Luvianos' city government and peppers his conversation with references to Austin's flea markets and Riverside Drive restaurants.

In isolated pockets throughout Mexico, especially in far-flung rural areas, groups of migrants are entering the political arena. For many returning migrants, the lessons they learned in places such as Austin are guiding their forays into politics. Before they left Mexico for the United States, many of them were the poorest, and often the least educated, residents of their towns and villages. They are returning with dollars, ideas and little patience for the old way of doing things.

I wish them luck. And quickly. At the rate things are going to hell in a handbasket here, a safe and progressive Mexico would lure a few million gringos. In fact, make the whole country more like Austin and I'll get packed in 15 minutes.

kona's saturday night austin tour

The South Austin Jug Band doing a Solar Jam in Austin on Earth Day (my birthday) 2007.

Phoenix YZ at Antone's on 5th during the 2006 Poetry Slam finals. I took this video. Super SteadyShot would have been nice. :-) It's been on YouTube for 2 years and has a 5 star rating (for content, not video quality). If you like it, I posted more here.

Friday Pussy Blog: The High-Def Pussy Edition

This is the first pussy blog with photos taken from my new beloved Sony Cybershot in "Full HD 1080." More, wider Tot for us to enjoy.

He initially has interest in my activities but that soon fades. He must get some rest.

And Sissy can barely keep her eyes open. All our cats are on a similar relaxing schedule.

I even did some relaxing this afternoon. I got home from work a bit after 4:00 and by 4:40 I was already on the bed trying to release the stresses of the week. I got up a bit before 6:00.

Happy Friday -- may the weekend last a damn long time.

all that matters

we're all just matter

floating around bumping into each other

particles - just sub atomic shit

invisible to the naked eye

irrelevant and conscious

only to our meaninglessness

a figment of our imaginations

so nothing is really worth

getting upset about

unless all you care about is nothing

I Have a Lot to Say

But it'll have to wait. I'm tired.

But I do find it interesting that in a moment when we could make great strides by taking advantage of hardships, we take the low road. It sorta takes all the fun out of the suffering.

Let's use 9/11/01 as an example. Name a positive we have achieved since that date. We have to go out and buy special 3 oz. plastic containers for shampoo and conditioner just to get on a fucking airplane, and we have suspended or put the Constitution through a cheap paper shredder.
We have made the lives of millions miserable.

Now fast forward to 2008. While all the aforementioned shit is still going on, now we have $130-$140 a barrel oil. We could be focusing on mass transit, alternative fuel technologies, etc. But what direction are we headed?

The low road.

Senator John McCain said Wednesday that he wanted 45 new nuclear reactors built in the United States by 2030, a course he called “as difficult as it is necessary.”

[...]

He said his ultimate goal was 100 new nuclear plants.

Idiot.

And he isn't the only idiot, I'm sorry to say. McCain's fuck buddy isn't the brightest lantern on the streets of the idiotless village.

George W. Bush has his own ideas for solving our problems.
President Bush urged Congress on Wednesday to end a federal ban on offshore oil drilling and open a portion of the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge for oil exploration, asserting that those steps and others would lower gasoline prices and “strengthen our national security.”

[...]

Mr. Bush sought to take full political advantage of soaring fuel prices by portraying Republican lawmakers as imaginative and forward-looking and the Democratic majority in Congress as obstructionists on energy policy.

"Imaginative and forward-looking?"

I'm totally losing confidence in our collective intelligence.

It's quite comical watching a society collapse before my very eyes. "We" could stop this madness, but you know, there's bigger threats to our survival.

The Westboro Baptist Church and others of their ilk can keep us abreast of those threats. And we certainly trust them to do so.

Yeah, like believing "on" Jesus is going to solve our problems. It must be nice living in fantasy land. Perhaps I should give it a try.

Run along now you little brainwashed brat. We've got a country to save so you don't live a life of absolute hell before you turn 18. You might be eating poop yourself when you can't afford corn or rice. Fucking idiots.

Fuck.


Crossposted at Big Brass Blog

Txrad Has Been in the Kitchen

Lord have mercy. I worked from home today and it was pretty relentless from about 7:45 this morning until 5:30 this afternoon. txrad was apparently eager to get back in his own kitchen after being away for 6 days.

He whipped up a black eyed pea salad with corn and red pepper he roasted earlier today. And slaw made with purple cabbage. Both of these are exquisite. YUM!

Best Souvenir Ever

I left home a bit after 10:00pm last night for the airport run to pick up txrad. His flight was coming in a few minutes earlier than expected but I still had time to stop at Taco Cabana for a black bean burrito.

The place was pretty deserted at that hour even though there were a couple of tables of people out on the patio.

I have never ordered a frozen margarita at a fast food joint before and decided I'd try one. It was nothing to write home (or blog) about. I detected the dreaded Cuervo essence.

I was sitting there zoning out, casually sipping the drink while waiting for my burrito. I didn't realize about 10-12 minutes has passed for a burrito which should have taken 2 minutes to prepare. I went to ask and apparently someone had dropped the ball. About two minutes later I had my burrito.

Unfortunately I was getting into a time crunch and had to start drinking the margarita rather than sipping it. Actually I was slurping it. And of course I got the head freeze or whatever that's called.

Oh, the pain... the pain...

Naturally, I had to visit the Caballeros room and make a liquid deposit to the porcelain repository. This photo is for all you fine ladies out there who have often been curious about such male devices. Interesting, huh?

Then it was time to hit the freeway to fetch my boy at the airport. Between the margarita and my bifocals, it seemed a little scary.

txrad presented me with my requested souvenir and I am thrilled. It's so very konagodesque, don't you agree?

He picked this one up at the Kum & Go where he bought gas in Williston before catching his flight home.

California Same-Sex Marriages: No Turning Back Now

This is sweet and I am so proud right now.

"The contract of marriage is most solemn. It is not to be entered into lightly, but thoughtfully and seriously," Newsom told Martin, 87, and Lyon, 83, who have been together for 55 years.

The protesters can suck my ass.

There were scattered demonstrations outside some offices and courthouses. About a dozen protesters stood across the street from the Sacramento County recorder's office, carrying signs that read, "Marriage 1 man + 1 woman" and "Resist Judicial Tyranny."

"It's something to just pray about. It's not a time to be joyful," 16-year-old demonstrator Juliya Lyubezhanina said as she watched dozens of balloon- and rainbow flag-carrying couples.

"Resist Judicial Tyranny?" Is that anything like the tyranny of a ballot initiative in which a minority of registered voters have an opportunity to nullify existing legal marriages?

The weddings will stop abruptly this fall if California voters approve a November ballot initiative banning gay marriage. "There are a lot of mixed emotions about this," Newsom said. "It's exhilarating on the one hand. But it's by no means certain that California won't take back what it has given."

If that should happen, and it's far from certain, then legally-married same-sex couples in California -- and other states -- should raise almighty hell.

We all should. I'm fed up with right-wing religious bigots meddling in OUR affairs.
Pardon my French, but fuck them.

Mata Hari Pulled The Strings

I swear I had nothing to do with it.

Fornicating Blogs

Lordy, I had a hunch my post yesterday was going to be mis-interpreted. Kelly nailed it.

Seriously, if txrad and I were going to be married in California, do you think I'd announce it as a footnote in a blog post about a camera??? Give me a fucking break!

I was indeed making a joke about how my two blogs (Black Soap being the other one, Toast!) need to get it on as one because with this job situation, I'm about out of control with my personal time. Part of that is due to the fact that txrad isn't here to handle his half of the chores, so we'll see how things shape up when he gets back.

I'm still not sure this two blog thing is working out although I do like having a strictly personal outlet, but come on! This konagod blog isn't exactly non-personal, and I rarely have time now to delve into political issues that are twisting my ripped-up panties in a knot. And even if I were, it's not like this is a highly regarded and popular blog for political opinion. I once fancied it as such back in the days when I worked at home and felt compelled to immediately jump on the latest Bush administration faux pas so I could run with the "big dogs" as if people were lurking here to be informed of global affairs. Those days are over.

To tell the truth, when I want to go on a tirade about something of mass appeal, I can do it here and at Big Brass Blog. Or I can do a diary at Pam's House Blend. But this dual blogging here at home is making me feel fragmented.

I need to go to my Control Panel, select Administrative Tools, click Computer Management, and run the konagod defragmenter.

We'll all be better off in the end.

If You Can't Stand the Heat, Get Out of the Kitchen Austin

In lieu of a Monday Garden Blog, I'm going to do a blog about why we don't have much of a garden. Normally we don't have long stretches of heat like this until early July. I swear this has been going on for about 3 weeks if not longer. I'm thinking it started around the 3rd week of May.

Notice the apparent cold front which blows through on Wednesday. I'm not really believing it.

Next week isn't shaping up to be any different.

Thunderstorms and a high of 99° on Saturday. You just know that's gonna be fun.
I might have to kick the thermostat down from 82° to 81° tonight. Maybe even 80°.

It would be nice to feel the need to pull a sheet over my naked ass.

txrad comes home tomorrow night from North Dakota. It'll be considerably warmer at 11:00 pm when he steps off the plane than any daytime high he's experienced while he's been gone.

Just for contrast:

And here's the best part: I still don't turn on my a/c in the car when I'm coming home from work. Needless to say I don't turn it on at 6:30 in the morning either. Hey, there's always an afternoon breeze.

My Little Red Camera

I have to say I bought this thing on a whim. And I wasn't sure I was going to keep it. But after taking 80+ photos today I am sold. This is a dandy little device, despite being made in China. (Well, I bought it at Wal-Mart; what do you fucking expect?)

The video quality is the same at the photos as best I can tell from eyeballing it. That certainly was not true with my old camera. It's pocket size and easily transportable.

That alone breathes new life into this blog.

And the other one. Soon to be married in California.

kona's saturday night austin tour

The Republic of Texas Biker Rally is in progress. Normally I can't hear much traffic when I'm outside my house considering I'm almost a mile from any highway. Today I could bikes while IN the house. It's OK though. They generate something like $40 million to our local economy in one weekend. This video footage is from the 2007 rally.

Supposedly it's the 2nd largest biker rally in the US behind Sturgis. Now that's saying something. I had the good company of many of them while I was out.... running my errands today.

2,100 Turned Out for Loretta

And I could have been #2,101. Sigh.

I'll have to live vicariously through Michael Corcoran's review at statesman.com today:

You paid to get Lo-retty and you got Lo-retty; in a blue sequined gown with her hair piled high, she was still the “Blue Kentucky Girl” from Appalachia whose favorite adjective is dadgum. “Whatever you want to hear, Just holler it out,” she said between songs, though you can be fairly certain the set list, including an ironic pairing of “One’s On the Way” and “The Pill,” was carved on a stone tablet. (I could be mistaken because I disliked the record and never played it again, but she didn’t do a single number from the Jack White-produced “Van Lear Rose.”)

Honestly, that would have been something of a let-down for me. I loved "Van Lear Rose." And like it or not, the least the reviewer could have done is listen to it 2 or 3 times before making such a rash judgment. But there's nothing wrong with a night of old classics, that's for sure.

Drawing more of her audience from the gay pride rally-ers in town than all the bikers (who combined to make Austin the leather chaps capital of the universe this weekend), Lynn’s show had more padding than a drag show.

Gee, I missed not just one show, but two!

Friday Pussy Blog: One Small Tot Edition

Sorry, I don't have the energy level to do a full-blown pussy blog tonight after my day, not to mention documenting it in the post below.

My cell phone camera makes the Tot look very small. I assure you he hasn't shrunk.

Happy Friday the 13th. It could have been worse; at least the markets didn't crash.

Scorpions 1, Loretta 0

I felt pretty good this morning when I got up. It was Friday (albeit the 13th), I was looking forward to the day, and I was seriously jazzed about Loretta Lynn.

Then as I finished up my morning coffee I stood up and felt a very uncomfortable prick on my foot under the strap of my sandal. I thought it was probably one of the very nasty grass burrs we have here. They are tiny seeds with thorns which stick to the bottoms of your shoes, or anything else to which they come in contact. I just thought one had gotten under the strap.

As I was pulling my foot from the sandal I felt another extremely sharp piercing pain -- almost like a red-hot ice pick going through my foot. I think I may have yelled "fuck" once or twice, and then I saw the scorpion crawl out of my shoe.

The wet-looking shit you see to the left of the scorpion is what squished out of it after I pounded it with my shoe.

The "no-kill zone" at kona ranch suffered a temporary suspension. Normally I would catch any such critters in the house and take them outside. This one unfortunately earned my severe wrath. Hell's fury descended down upon the scorpion, you might say.

I proceeded to shower and get ready for work. My foot was in extreme pain for about 10-15 minutes. About the time the pain subsided, I was feeling the toxic venom shit coursing through my bloodstream.

By the time I left for work I could already feel a bit of numbness in my face, particularly around and in my mouth, and my tongue. I'm firmly convinced the stuff dentists use for anesthesia is derived to some extent from scorpion venom! Not only was I experiencing the unpleasant numbness, but I could taste the toxins in my mouth. It pretty much destroyed any sensory pleasure from eating or drinking. Even water tastes odd.

Someone at work got me a Benadryl and by 11:30 I wasn't feeling any better and was getting drowsy. I decided to come home for the remainder of the day. I stopped and got a cheap frozen entree for lunch since I can't taste shit anyway. Then I took a nap for about an hour.

It's now almost 6:00 and the nasty taste in my mouth lingers. Most of the other nasty symptoms have dissipated somewhat, but not entirely.

The fucker sure did screw up my plans for the day. At least that one won't have another opportunity.

The woman who got me the Benadryl asked me if I've ever seen a mama scorpion with her babies. There was a group of them in the mailbox once and I inadvertently brought them in the house with the mail. The mama scorpion carries them on her back. The lady at work told me the babies will stay on her and actually eat her to death. If that's true, these nasty fuckers are even more evil than I thought.

I hope I'm fully recovered tomorrow. Sorry, Loretta. It would have been a blast.

Christ, I was 14 years old when that video was shot!

RIP Tim Russert

The news that NBC's host of Meet the Press, Tim Russert, died today at 58 stunned me because of his age, and that I just saw him on MSNBC recently, but his death didn't actually surprise me that much. I joked awhile back during coverage of a presidential primary that he looked and acted drunk. Actually, he seemed in ill-health that night but I just assumed he was doing what I was doing: having a few too many drinks to celebrate polls closing.

The cause of death was not immediately clear. The network said on its Web site that Russert died of a heart attack, but Michael A. Newman, Russert's internist, later said that resuscitation was begun immediately and continued at Sibley Memorial Hospital, to no avail. An autopsy was pending, Newman said.

Loretta Lynn is HERE

She's performing at Stubb's Friday night. Now, what do I do?

txrad is in North Dakota. I've been invited to a party already. And then there's Loretta Lynn.

Why does everything happen at once?

I could say fuck everything and go see a legend. What would YOU do?

If I thought Jack White would show up I'd definitely be there.

Tempted to Flip the Switch

With txrad being gone for five days I've been tempted to shut off all power to the house just to see what impact it will have on our electric bill for June.

The downsides I can count are:

1. No blogging.
2. All the shit in the fridge will go bad.
3. No music.

On second thought, I'll just leave it.

Maybe I Should Be An Analyst

Back on February 26 I posted about oil prices and included this quote from a New York Times article that day:

Oil prices are unlikely to drop any time soon, analysts said. Barclays Capital recently raised its long-term prediction, saying prices could reach $137 a barrel in 2015, up from a previous target of $93 a barrel.

To which I wrote:

Sorry, that wasn't me you heard snorting. $137 in 2015? That's 7 years from now! I might believe that if there was a slight decrease in US consumption coupled with peace in the Middle East. And a smaller increase in consumption in China and India. Like that's an option.

I'll be surprised if we aren't seeing $137 a barrel before the next president has had time to fumigate the Oval Office

I love it when I clearly have more sense than analysts at Barclays Capital. I only missed by 8 months instead of 7 years!

So who the hell are these "analysts" and what the hell are they "analyzing?"

Music Makes Me Crave Ethnic Food

txrad gets to banging on the keyboards and suddenly I'm craving dim sum. Or #45 spicy with brown rice. Or the Buddha's Delight.

Fuck me running.

I get hungry. Certain music spikes my taste buds. Question of the Day:

Does any music make you hungry? (I said HUNGRY, not HORNY)

The mere stroke of a sitar makes me crave Indian food. I felt a weakness today and I went to Whole Foods and decided to fill my bucket with their Indian buffet.

I call it Indian food for Gringos. What a crock of shit. And I spent over $11 for that pale shit.

The good news is that it sat in my stomach for far longer than most $11 meals, so for that I'm thankful. At the very least, I know I was well poisoned fed for $11. I didn't run to the crapper even once. Probably because I was so fucking busy at work.

Just thought you'd want to know. Carry on.

Impeach The Fucker

I'm not sure why (in fact, I have no clue) there is such an aversion to addressing this issue (h/t Nicole) in Congress, after eight of the worst years in the history of this country. But I love Dennis Kucinich.

"In his conduct while President of the United States, George W. Bush, in violation of his constitutional oath to faithfully execute the office of president of the United States, and to the best of his ability preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States, and in violation of his constitutional duty to take care that the laws be faithfully executed, has committed the following abuses of power..."

No fucking shit.

But don't expect anything to be done about this. It's a political hot potato for some odd reason.

Rep. Robert Wexler (D-Fla.) has signed on and that's about it, I'm sad to report.

What the fuck is wrong with Reid and Pelosi? And Obama? All are distancing themselves from Kucinich.

Just another reason why I am glad I was FOR Kucinich BEFORE I was for Edwards, BEFORE I was for Clinton, and BEFORE I was for Obama.

I'm starting to wonder if I'm FOR anyone. Except Kucinich.

I Love Sundance Channel

One of my favorite series is Live from Abbey Road and last weekend we were luxuriating in it and I caught Nerina Pallot. I'm definitely going to check out the rest of her stuff but this piece excites me almost as much as when I bought my first Fiona Apple CD, or Kate Bush CD for that matter.

Monday Garden Blog: Tomatoes

The good news is we have tomatoes!

<

The bad news is we may not have more than this.

It's been a VERY hot May and I'm surprised we even got tomatoes this size. The last few years the heat has come on early and we've been lucky to get even a few little ones.

Oh, my God. I pity the poor soul who has never tasted home grown.

A Catastrophe at the Texas Governor's Mansion

Governor Rick (Good Hair) Perry is a catastrophe all right but he's not the subject of this post.

Arson is suspected in the fire that struck the historic Texas Governor's Mansion early Sunday, causing damage that state officials described as ''bordering on catastrophic,'' the state fire marshal said.

The mansion is a national historic landmark. Built in 1856, it is the oldest continually used executive residence west of the Mississippi, according to the group Friends of the Governor's Mansion, which works to preserve and show the public the historic building.

It makes me sad to see historic structures destoryed. Even if they are inhabited by one or more pricks.

I guess us taxpayers here in the Lone Star State are now stuck for awhile longer paying for Perry's $9,900 a month rental home. A free triple-wide is probably out of the question. We do things "a little differently" here in Texas.

Crossposted at Big Brass Blog

The job of labels is to be subservient to the music

Ray said it best.

Friday Pussy Blog: Dead Battery Edition

Since I failed miserably in my promise to do a late Friday Pussy Blog last weekend I thought I'd make up for it by doing all 4 cats today. After all, it is feeding time and they were all patiently awaiting me to start my duty.

I got 3 shots of the Tot and then the camera battery went dead. The camera has been getting a workout the past few days and weeks. So I used the cell phone to get a shot of Tiger and Sweet Pea on the patio. I'm surprised that isn't dead from all the creditor calls this week.

Meanwhile Sissy fled the scene. It only requires a very minor disturbance to send her running.

Tot: "Yo, fucker! Put down the camera and fill the bowl before I draw blood."

When the dirty looks don't produce the immediate desired results, he can always draw my attention to the empty bowl by staring at it.

No worries; everyone is happy now!

I think I am happiest of all because we are at the end of another grueling week. And it's week #4 of my re-employment, if you can believe that. Oh my, how time flies when you're having fun.

A Day Of Mourning For Hippies

Boom Boom, Out Go The Lights.

Alton Kelley, whose psychedelic concert posters for artists like the Grateful Dead, Jimi Hendrix, and Big Brother and the Holding Company helped define the visual style of the 1960s counterculture, died on Sunday at his home in Petaluma, Calif. He was 67.

I am having my own wake tonight. This is devastating to me. I loved his shit.

Segway (Segue)

We, being the marketing and advertising geniuses that we are, think Segway is a mahhhvelous name for an instrument of transportation of the low-oil variety. Whereas the so-called "hybrid" vehicles are not all they are cracked up to be.



So it is with great fanfare that I announce....

We're going to do something about it. From now on, when I see a Hummer accelerating past me on the road rushing to a red light, I'm going to rear-end it. Hard.

Because I'm sick of this shit and I'm NOT going to take it ANYMORE!!

It's Summer in Texas

I heard on the radio yesterday that we already set something like 9 high temperature records during the month of May and June is already proving to be relentless in the heat. Yesterday the official high was 100°F. The last time it rained it was actually ice balls falling from the sky. That was probably the week I started back to work. I'm in my 4th week now. Hard to believe.

txrad had this idea for a Question of the Day:

At what temperature do you keep your thermostat set during the summer months (or hot months as the case may be since it's not technically summer yet)?

Here's ours:

I'm fine with 82° but that's because I run around the house half dressed (or half undressed). Keep in mind that in our office with two computers running it's quite a bit warmer -- right now it's 84° in the office, despite the thermostat setting.

txrad prefers the thermostat to be set at 81° and then turning it down to 80° while we sleep. I'm not sure why he needs that extra degree or two of coolness except that "clothing-optional" isn't in his vocabulary.

I kick the covers and sheet off at either temperature so it doesn't matter to me.

History Has Been Made And I Feel Proud

And honestly, after listening to most of John McCain's pathetic speech tonight, I'm expecting a blowout. Even I could debate him.

Meet the Democratic nominee for President of the United States of America.

I am ready for the first debate between Obama and McCain. It's gonna be glorious.

Get ready for the Republican Hate Machine to kick into gear. It won't take long. And it will be nasty. And it will not work this year. Fuck them.

RE: Kyle Secor

A couple of you loyal and faithful readers have suggested that I "slightly resemble" Kyle Secor. I had no idea who this person was or is. So I Googled.

Thank you very much. I take great steps to remove some gray and then everyone thinks I remind them of a guy who is fifty-fucking-one years of age.

Maybe you were thinking of his character, Tim Bayliss, who in character years is 38. In that case, you are forgiven.

Mujeres al borde de un ataque de nervios

I might as well get in the groove here since I want to learn Spanish. Hat tip to Pedro Almodovar for borrowing the title of his 1988 film, Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. And apologies to any Über Feminists (hey, I'm pretty handy with German as well) for my choice which in no way is meant to diminish Hillary Rodham Clinton's run for the money or her as a person. Anyone at this point in the game, at the point of withdrawal from the race, would likely be in need of therapy, myself included. This is a humor blog, may I remind you. And primarily to humor myself. Anyone else is more than welcome to tag along.

In a rare departure from the campaign trail, the New York senator and former first lady planned to hold an end-of-primary rally in New York Tuesday night, inviting donors and offering to fly field staffers from around the country to attend. She had no other events scheduled for Tuesday and aides said she planned to be on the telephone calling superdelegates in a last-ditch effort to undercut Obama's lead.

Aides stressed she had no plans to withdraw from the race Tuesday night.

Bullshit. What else could it mean when she instructed staff to turn in expense reports before the end of the week?

But the fun ain't over yet. Obama says they are going to work together. Hmmmm.

Make some beautiful music, you two... please.

¡Hola!

More than 18 months have passed since I scored a great deal at Best Buy on my Spanish Deluxe Instant Immersion program which I got for the amazing price of $5.00 and finally started the first lesson today.

So does that make me a procrastinator? It gets worse.

About 11 or 12 years ago I bought a Spanish audio CD set while we were living in Los Angeles. I have loaded the first CD onto my Zen player and can listen while riding the bus to work.

Red State folks might disagree, but I'm embarrassed to only speak ONE language despite being in the presence of Spanish speakers constantly when I'm out of the house.