We have a subscription to the McKenzie County Farmer, txrad's hometown newspaper. Normally, I get my jollies looking at the photos of the high school boys' wrasslin' matches or the help wanted ads at the Kum & Go.
Today I had a genuine series of laughs at these grammatical errors and typos found in church bulletins which were featured in the April 8 edition of the paper. I'll pick just a few of my favorites to share:
This one actually stumped me until I read it twice:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
This one sounds like it was plucked directly from a George Carlin routine:
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
And one of my favorites:
Don't let worry kill you off -- let the church help.
And here's a potluck I wouldn't mind attending:
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.
Wow, that sounds spiritual! And to be followed up with a possible orgy:
This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn-singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
The fun and games don't stop there! No sir, it gets even more kinky:
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
And all you fatties need not feel left out:
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.
Sorry, I'm a back door man!
Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back entrance.
What is it with Christians and 7 PM?? Here's yet another:
The eight graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Somewhere there's music....
At the evening serivce tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
And speaking of George Carlin and hostilities... listen to this!