Saturday, September 29, 2007

Random Thoughts

Is Office Space officist?

That scene where they are beating the printer with the baseball bat out in the field is unnerving.

I prefer more subtle methods of subterfuge.

Why can't round pegs just fall into round holes, and everyone be happy?

Neverclear

Maybe if I was 20 and in college I'd think Everclear was just the coolest thing. It's not.



And as long as I live, I prefer to never have this stuff pass my lips again. I particularly dislike restaurants and bars which lace a margarita with this shit. And there are a number of those establishments in the Austin area. I stumbled upon one last night.

Now I can't say with 100% certainty they used this alcohol, but I'd do a double or nothing bet on my next paycheck. It's not listed in the ingredients in the below link, but that means nothing. I've had a lot of strong margaritas and plenty that were not so strong. And I've walked out of restaurants after having two margaritas and feeling a really good buzz. But I've never had 2 margaritas and felt intoxicated, unless there was something besides the usual acceptable ingredients involved. Maybe the Espolon Silver is just nasty shit, but I'm sticking with my original belief.

Yesterday after work, we met up with a local NBC representative for drinks and appetizers. Since Matt’s El Rancho (say it with an excessive rolling R; that's fun and it's how our local radio station does it) is a Mexican food establishment, I wasn't going to have anything but a margarita or two. Our host who was picking up the tab was drinking white wine. Smart woman.

She had ordered a few appetizers as well. I started with some chips and salsa which was great. Then the allure of the queso with the dollop of guacamole got the best of me. I sunk my chip right in the middle of it and assumed what I saw as I removed the chip was perhaps bean dip. That was the wrong assumption for a vegetarian to make. Rather than make a scene in front of someone I was meeting for the first time, I just swallowed. After all, there was queso involved and it's not like I could just easily spit out a piece of meat.

The nachos were tasty but I suspect their beans have some meat base. This restaurant is probably great for carnivores. It's certainly a local favorite.

After the first margarita I was feeling quite a punch. I ordered another. And I'm glad I stopped after that one even though the waitress was eagerly promoting another round. That's rather irresponsible in my opinion, knowing the strength of those drinks.

We came home and continued drinking tequila but overall, I drank considerably less than I normally would on a Friday night. I woke up this morning feeling like I'd consumed an entire bottle of tequila and having some wicked alcohol aftertaste and cottonmouth action going on. That's not normal. And I had a headache. THAT'S not normal because we only drink 100% blue agave tequila and I rarely have headaches until I drink a LOT of tequila and don't eat dinner.

And I felt somewhat unstable for the bulk of the day. I took a nap and even had a spiraling feeling in my dream state.

Tonight I'm drinking beer and tequila in an attempt to cleanse my system of that nasty Everclear. In the future, if I'm in an unfamiliar restaurant, I will ask what's in the margaritas before ordering. This was an unpleasant shock I do not wish to see repeated. Ever. Clear?

Friday, September 28, 2007

It

please win,
ream rhapsody's ASS tomorrow. Email me the final score.

I can't get in,
that means I gotta play hardball.

Points.

We need points.

I got it!! Life is ALL about POINTS .... and SCORING!!!!

That's why it's so goddamn popular.

Hmmmmm.....


I really hope Bank of America doesn't Fed-Ex me any more happy notices.

Those are starting to chafe my ass.

Friday Pussy Blog

The kids are enjoying the new carpeting as much as their daddies are.



Sissy doesn't claw at the carpet but her claws hook at it every time she takes a step.



Tater Tot, on the other hand, is capable of walking across it quietly, but he is prone to start clawing at it. He knows he shouldn't. I've put a strip of the excess carpet on the unfinished floor in the den where the litter boxes are so he can scratch at his leisure. Not that what I do matters.



It should be very obvious from these photos that we are a very happy family unit.

The Week That Was

Thank God it's Friday. As is usual in my place of employment, there was never a dull moment. However, your host at this blog had an incredible week of insane productivity and accomplishments. Things started winding down this afternoon and I was looking forward to my planned cocktail meeting with one of my local TV station sales reps around 4:00-ish.

But round about 3:00-ish we got slammed with some things we have to get in place for the TV advertising campaign by Wednesday of next week (if it sounds like it can wait until Monday or Tuesday then you don't understand the business; this truck don't turn on a dime!) and I had to get busy again.

No way was I going to allow this to interfere with my happy hour meeting. I gathered up my paperwork, laptop, and docking station & monitor in a box (my "job in a box") and headed out around 3:45 to the patio at the infamous Matt's El Rancho in beautiful south Austin, Texas for a couple of kick-ass margaritas.

Damn, I love my job. I'd love almost any job where I get paid to sit around and get drunk.

Speaking of "job in a box," you'd be amazed. I randomly picked out a box from the mail room at work, and it fits everything perfectly. The docking station pedestal goes in first, then I shove the wiring down behind the docking station, a towel goes in over that, then the monitor goes in screen-down on that, and there's just room enough for the keyboard to balance on top of the monitor base. I can close the flaps on the box and come home. I don't even disconnect anything from the docking station. The wires stay connected, I come home, take it out, plug it in, and go to work.

Sweet.

I swear though, I think those folks put Everclear in those margaritas. Whoooooooooooooo!

At one point during the "meeting" and quite early on, txrad announced that we were "spouses." The woman was taken aback for just a second or two and then resumed with the good times. I think some people just aren't used to gay folks being quite so open about it, but she had no problem. After all, she was already passed her 3rd marriage so who was she to judge?

The really funny thing is that we got home shortly after 6:00 which is not far from when we normally would have gotten home from a normal day of work, only this time we had a good head start on our Friday liquor buzz. And after nibbling on chips & salsa, queso, nachos, and quesadillas while drinking, we don't even have to deal with making pizza tonight.

The local NBC affiliate took care of that problem for us.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

1982

My God! That was 25 years ago!

txrad has a movie on, and I asked him what it was. He hit the info button and I saw the year and I just had this revelation.

Time flies when you're having fun.

Question of the Day: What was going on in your life in 1982?

I was 4 years out of high school... hard enough to believe that. And my dad was still alive, for about 3 more months.

Bill Clinton was about to defeat Frank White to win back the governor's mansion in Little Rock.

And even then I think I knew Hillary wanted to be president.

And I was listening to the Talking Heads, the Ramones, Gang of Four, Buzzcocks, Siouxsie and the Banshees.

I guess it was a pretty good year. Probably the last of the really good 80s years in America.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Why Not Pass a Law Banning Customers

Last week, the town of Riverside, NJ rescinded an ordinance that penalized anyone who employed or rented to an illegal immigrant.

And surprise! It was because businesses suffered after the ordinance was passed.
Within months, hundreds, if not thousands, of recent immigrants from Brazil and other Latin American countries had fled. The noise, crowding and traffic that had accompanied their arrival over the past decade abated.

The law had worked. Perhaps, some said, too well.

With the departure of so many people, the local economy suffered. Hair salons, restaurants and corner shops that catered to the immigrants saw business plummet; several closed. Once-boarded-up storefronts downtown were boarded up again.

[...]

“I don’t think people knew there would be such an economic burden,” said Mayor George Conard, who voted for the original ordinance. “A lot of people did not look three years out.”

I think if you can't look 3 years out as well as expecting the obvious outcome from passing an ordinance such as this, perhaps you don't deserve to be mayor.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Connection

There are some ways to connect with people, and then there are other ways.

I prefer the other ways.

I just wish management could somehow connect.

Since when is getting reprimanded for seeking agressive solutions to problems a problem?

Fuck this joint.

I'm so outta here there's no need to turn in my check-out key.

Never is a promise and you can't afford to lie.


crossposted no less at my ballsy joint.

We Are Fairly Moral

I have to deliver this update on the TV situation. I had an email from my brother today. He was headed down on his 4-hour trip (or maybe 3 hours the way he drives) to my mother's house with the boob tube.

The story is, he won the TV in a contest sponsored by Wal-Mart and it came with a warranty.

Oops. He bought the TV from Circuit City, so he had to issue a subsequent email in which he corrected himself in case she quizzes me, in case the TV ever needs service, and the Circuit City guys show up instead of Wal-Mart guys.

Yeah, like my mother is going to know the difference? She's never been in a Circuit City.

And, as little white lies go, my brother DID win a TV over the July 4th holidays, it just wasn't this one.

In fact, it wasn't even comparable. But that's beside the point. The onerous lie is on my brother's shoulders. I just have to play along which makes the lie whiter. Right?

My main concern is that things are simple. She likes to just walk over and push and button and turn a knob. This situation could involve two sets of remotes and all kind of complicated technological bullshit.

That's not good.

I predict after she tries unsuccessfully to turn on the TV one time, she'll drag the old one out of the closet or wherever, and plug it in. I just hope she has sense enough to plug the cable into it as well, and the converter box if they still have those.

Oh, nevermind. This is never going to work out. One of us is getting a plasma TV real soon.

Monday, September 24, 2007

What's Up With Widow Women (or #2* in my list of reasons why my mother drives me nuts)

Today is my mother's 84th birthday. I called her this evening to wish her well and to explain that I've been too busy to send the letter I promised last week, and I happened to remember while on the phone with her that I bought her a card about 2 months ago and then forgot about it.









Work's a bitch.

But I digress. What is it with these widow women and their aversion to charity from males? There's a rich millionaire in my hometown who likes to take meals to the old ladies, give them things, etc. My mother has been complaining about this charity for many months now.

She can cook for herself and she can get around in her Lincoln. She knows how to get to Wal-Mart and Sav-Mart and stock up on groceries, and cook what she has procured. (I make a once a year pilgrimage to my motherland and I'm enthralled with the meals. I can't even do them and I'm almost half her age.)

Anyway, this rich dude has been trying to give her a new TV for months. My mother thinks TV is evil. And to be offered one as a gift from a married man, she probably thinks is sinful.

Besides, she likes her old TV with the antenna struggling to catch a signal from 85 miles up the highway.

The old millionaire sent my brother a check for something like $1,800 and told him to go buy her a TV and he'd pay for cable for a year.

Here's what we're doing. My brother has cashed the check, bought a TV (I hope for less than $1200) and put it all out on his living room floor to do a sort of reverse parental control, where you block channels you don't want a parent to see. Comedy Central comes to mind.

There are certain channels, that if she is exposed to them, will send her straight into the grips of hellfire.

So, my mother's birthday is today, and I was talking to her and she said my brother might be coming down for a visit tomorrow. I'm sure he'll have the TV in tow. I just emailed him to ask him what the "story" was so we could be on the same page.

The last time I talked to him we were either going to say we went halvsies on it (fat chance since he can't afford it, and I don't want to afford it) or that he won it in a contest.

That's a pretty big variation in excuses, so we need to be on the same page.

Meanwhile, my mother gets this Wal-Mart gift certificate today for her birthday for $300 from same millionaire. She doesn't want it (she shops at Wal-Mart ALL the fucking time!) and told the guy. He said give it to either of your two sons.

I didn't say I refuse to shop at Wal-Mart so give it to my brother. He needs it more than I. She intervened by saying she's giving it back to the giver.

But that's all beside the point. She doesn't want the card, and she's returning it.

What is wrong with this woman?

I would take the damn thing, and go buy $300 worth of food and give it to a homeless bank. (txrad's idea)

She'll give it back to the giver, and he'll give it to another greedy old white woman who will go to Wal-Mart and squander the thing on worthless nick-nacky shit.

Who deserves it?

Another thing txrad said tonight which makes perfect sense. The rich can take care of the world. If they want to.


*List is NOT in sequential order.


Crossposted at B3 With any luck.

The Financial Benefits of War

We all know there's money to be made in times of war, but this is sick.
On the fourth Sunday in July, John Lee Cockerham was here in his hometown for the baptism of his twin sons.

[...]

At his sons’ baptism, he told fellow worshipers that he hoped to instill in his children the values he had wrested from hardship.

Less than 24 hours later Major Cockerham was behind bars, accused of orchestrating the largest single bribery scheme against the military since the start of the Iraq war. According to the authorities, the 41-year-old officer, with his wife and a sister, used an elaborate network of offshore bank accounts and safe deposit boxes to hide nearly $10 million in bribes from companies seeking military contracts.

The accusations against Major Cockerham are tied to a crisis of corruption inside the behemoth bureaucracy that sustains America’s troops. Pentagon officials are investigating some $6 billion in military contracts, most covering supplies as varied as bottled water, tents and latrines for troops in Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan.

The inquiries have resulted in charges against at least 29 civilians and soldiers, more than 75 other criminal investigations and the suicides of at least two officers. They have prompted the Pentagon, the largest purchasing agency in the world, to overhaul its war-zone procurement system.

It's one thing to be corrupt and take bribes. But to do so in the midst of a war in which soldiers and scores of innocent civilians are killed on a daily basis -- basically sacrificing their lives for nothing -- this really has to be the lowest form of criminality.

If Cockerham is indeed guilty, we can only hope he instills none of his values in his children.

What a sad waste.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Friday Skunk Blogging

So I went out for a quick smoke, and I saw the black & white.

He or she kept pointing his or her protruding butt in my direction, so I decided to just have a conversation with the skunk to sorta loosen it up during dinner.

I had a little kona confessional which fell on deaf ears, and then as I moved in my chair I saw the extroverted ass pointing in my direction.

Don't give me that shit, bitch, I've been getting it all day, and I'm in no mood. And then things got relaxed. And then I'd get the button butt when I made a noise other than my confessional conversation.




Finally, I decided enough with the philosophy and go get the camera. So when I re-entered the patio with the camera I got the stand-off-ish button butt in my direction, and then a quick exit, but not before stopping at the watering hole.




By the way, I do wish I'd gotten a shot of the button-butt. I promise to do so in the near future. So check back soon for Skunk Butt Blogging.

Friday Pussy Blog: Technical Difficulties Edition

Sorry I'm late. Busy week.

This is Tater Tot waiting on his Daddy to come home.






OOPS! My bad! Wrong upload.

Let's try this again.

Here's Tater Tot and you can clearly see how much he loves txrad. This is a rare shot because txrad doesn't normally allow such pussy adoration.



I love my Tot.

And Sissy is very happy since we got the carpet installed and all her favorite (scratching) furniture back in place.



My God, isn't she just the ultimate princess?

And my high school pal Elizabeth sent me a picture of Lilly which I simply must share. What a relaxation pose!



HEY, Elizabeth, what's with the 'fro pick?

Thus endeth today's pussy blog. Hope you enjoyed, and I deeply apologize for the offending glitch.



Yeah, right.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Let Me Put It In An Art Format

This is txrad:



This is me:



What do YOU think is more real?

Button Accordions Rock

My God in me tells me to say nothing. Learning is the path.

And my heart says educate.


What do I do?


Quickly, I only have a window of a few minutes.

Have no fear, we'll start again tomorrow. There's no graduating from this school.

Fling your hair and have fun.

We are the people of the sun.

And we've got 5 billion years and then some.

If we're lucky.

The Advertising Industry Is Fucking NVTS

NUTS I tell ya. Nuts.

I have this friend I've known 10 years. I met her when I supervised her when I first moved to Austin. We soon parted ways and she went in a new direction, but still in the industry. We have mutual friends so were able to stay in touch.

Recently after I started my new gig, I learned that she worked at a station in one of the television markets I handle San Antonio, and my sales rep and her were very good friends.

Small world.

Then, I informed the sales rep today that it was going to be a "tequila night" and I said "tell JB." Because I knew "JB" would appreciate it. I got a reply that "JB" had packed up her shit and moved to Dallas and was now working for a firm that handles television advertising sales on behalf of the stations.

I still had JB's cell phone number and, under the influence of tequila, I decided to give it a shot (no pun intended). I called her, and after an elaborate series of announcements and strange music, and thinking I was headed straight into voice mail hell, I heard this voice say, "Well, hello {konagod}!"

We had a nice chat, and after trying to exchange new contact information, we realized we were both too fucked up to transcribe anything. She was heavily working over the Crown Royal, and of course I said I had done a shot for her. She said do another and she'd do the same.

We'll do it and probably already have.

Small world.

I'm sure we'll be working together again soon.

FYI, the main reason this person is so important to me, is because she's the bitch who broke my 7-year sobriety, and started me smoking. But hey, the company we worked for then was going down the crapper fast, and we knew it.

Bitch.

Anyhow, the advertising industry is just GRAND. I love it.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

My Financial Strategy

Stocks soar today.

OK, that's enough for me. I've been waiting on this day for weeks. I'm cashing out for portfolio before Friday. And I'm going to hold on to CASH throughout the month of October.

And then, if there are rumors of another rate cut by the Fed before the next meeting, I'll buy back in. And then cash out again after the next rate cut.

I figure I can do this 3 or 4 times and make out quite well compared to how I have been doing over the past 6 months.

At some point though, I'm going to have to find the threshold at which I just stay out indefinitely. This mortgage thing sounds nasty and late into next year it appears it might get worse as adjustable rate mortgages are going to toss another large segment of society into the "I can't pay my mortgage" blues.

I am crossposting this from konagod to Big Brass Blog because, like any sensible American (how few of us there are), it's always nice to get the opinions of an economist and/or financial expert, and/or guru.

Personally, I don't see how I can go wrong. But then again, I've had that attitude in the past and look where I am now.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Fashion Flashback

Question of the Day:

What article of clothing have you ever thrown out or given to charity that you wish you'd kept?

Ten years ago, before moving to Austin, we were doing a lot of purging to keep the move as light and efficient as possible. I gave away a bass guitar and amp that I sort of wish I'd kept, I gave up a futon that I wish I'd never bought, and I gave away a fringe leather jacket that I'd purchased at a flea market way back in my Little Rock days. I think I paid about $100 for it and it was vingtage 60s hippie Dennis Hopper Easy Rider stuff. I'd give anything to have that back.

I also wish I'd hung on to a few t-shirts from concerts or those which I simply purchased because I liked the band. I had a bright yellow Buzzcocks shirt and a Siouxsie & the Banshees shirt. Those are missed.

txrad never seems to purge anything. This weekend while cleaning the closet shelves of all clothing I ran across several shirts of his. One was from the Who concert he went to in San Diego before we met.

And then there's this jewel from his high school days or shortly thereafter. Damn, he still looks hot in it.






Posted primarily for Lisa in Bismarck and Lori in Duluth.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

America's Culture of Death

I'm not sure why I pay $55.00 monthly for a New York Times subscription when the news is routinely depressing. Part of me would just prefer to remain ignorant.

On the other hand, I'm glad they cover state executions with such excruciating detail. People need to understand how this works.
He looks almost like a young child buckled into a car seat, with his closed eyes and freshly shaved head, with the way the black restraints of the electric chair crisscross at his torso. He yawns a wide-mouthed yawn, as though just stirring from an interrupted dream, and opens his eyes.

He is moments from dying.


Daryl Holton was the first person executed by electrocution in Tennessee since 1960. And in my opinion, the details of his execution are equally as grisly as his crime of killing his four children by shooting them in the heart.
Two corrections officers step forward to place a sponge soaked in salted water on Mr. Holton’s bald scalp to enhance conductivity. Next comes the headpiece, which the procedures describe as a “leather cranial cap lined with copper mesh inside.” Finally, a power cable, not unlike the cable to your television, is attached to the headpiece.

The copper mesh pressing wet sponge sends salty water streaming down the inmate’s ashen face, soaking his white cotton shirt to the pale skin beneath. When officers try to blot him dry with white towels, Mr. Holton says not to worry about it, “ain’t gonna matter anyway.”

Damn right, it's not gonna matter. But it gets worse.
With the push of a button on a console labeled Electric Chair Control, 1,750 volts bolt through Mr. Holton’s body, jerking it up and dropping it like a sack of earth. The black shroud offers the slightest flutter, and witnesses cannot tell whether they have just heard a machine’s whoosh or a man’s sigh.

Fifteen seconds later, another bolt, and Mr. Holton’s body rises even higher, slumps even lower. His reddened hands remain gripped to the arms of the chair, whose oaken pieces are said to have once belonged to the old electric chair, and before that, to the gallows.

SCOTUS is dead wrong on this one. While it may not be unusual in the United States, it certainly is in the civilized world, and it's absolutely cruel to the core. A civilized nation does not proclaim murder to be a crime and then murder the murderer.

If I believed in hell, I'd swear the prosecution, the jury, and the fucker who pushes the botton on the ECC would all burn there eternally, as well as the politicians who refuse to condemn the brutality, and the assholes who continue to elect them.

Time To Do Lunch

It feels so good to be settling back into a routine konalife and have time to do typical weekend konathings like airing up the tires on the two German human transport vessels and checking the oil.

Now it's time to go on a joy ride. I'm hungry.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Settling In With Low-Def TV

It feels so good to have furniture back in the room and I even apparently mananged to get the sound system and Dish Network stuff hooked to the TV first time without a glitch.

I'm not real happy about the rear speaker wires being so visible behind the sofa. I detest wires in general. I'll have to work on that.



That's txrad watching a very low-def Tammy Wynette singing "Stand By Your Man" on PBS. Later we found a high-def channel with better picture quality.

That orange thing you see stretched out to the left of the TV is Tater Tot. Earlier, he was supervising all my rewiring efforts. Bastard.

Oh, and did I mention how much I stress about and abhor having to move that 300 lb television? I hope this is the last time for years. If we ever sell this house, the TV might stay with the house as a buyer incentive. It's a hernia-inducing monster.

New Carpet Stinks

But it's certainly a BIG improvement from that ugly brown carpet which graced the hallway and two bedrooms. I had no idea how much brown carpet can just suck in light and never let it go. Both rooms feel bigger and definitely brighter now.

Here's the hallway leading to the bedrooms with the amazing blue carpet pad.



And the same hallway with carpet:



We selected a darker color with the same pattern for the living room. It seemed a lot darker when we selected it based on the swatch we saw. I would have described it as having a charcoal essence. It looks lighter. Of course as the light starts to fade into darkness, the carpet color seems to tag along.



I'm really enjoying my bedroom now. Before, after I painted the walls this sage green, I was having seconds thoughts because it did darken the room considerably. Now I realize it was the brown carpet which made the room dark and depressing. This is much better!



Sissy promptly gave her stamp of approving in the living room. She sat in there for a long time last night just stretching and rolling around, and finally sleeping on her back.



She really doesn't like change, chaos or disruption in the routine and she's been quite miserable since the end of July when we had the flooding, had to rip up carpet and move furniture around, and not to mention the loss of her buddy Samantha. It's been a rough ride for all of us but in the end I'd have to say it was worth it.

My only complaint is that I was expecting the new carpet to be a bit higher on the baseboards than the old carpet. It's actually close to 1/4" lower. In the bedrooms and hallway we never pulled up the old carpet because it wasn't water damaged, and I painted the baseboards down to the carpet level and tried to get the brush as far down on the baseboards as I could. Now I can see unpainted areas that I missed which I had hoped would be covered.

I'll tend to that when I can. I need to take a break from all this for awhile and just enjoy it.

I was going to put up some before & after shots, but you can click on the Home Improvements label to see the entire project.

Friday, September 14, 2007

A Fool Deserves to Suffer

Basically we hit our upper limit with the tequila consumption last night. In other words, if we want tequila tonight, txrad will have to stop and buy a bottle on the way home from work because there's probably not 2 shots left in the bottle.

Yes, I'm a fool and I should have known better than to buy a 750ml bottle on a night when the tv and sofa have been moved out of the living room and there's nothing to do but stand around listening to music and.... doing tequila shots.

As is usually the case when I partake of the firewater in excess, I have strange bruises in odd places. txrad said he had to help me up last night after I fell out of the chair on the patio. Of course, I remember nothing.

This is a day when I would love to take a nap and I can't because there are no beds in the bedrooms, and no sofa in the living room. Carpet installation day has finally arrived!



The carpet padding is down. And it's blue. VERY blue.

I'm ready for all this to be finished. Because I just can't live like this much longer:



For those of you who haven't tried it, cleaning out closets and moving furniture is a treat when you're hungover. I have a hunch that putting all this crap back in place is going to take a lot longer than it took to just pile it up.

Guess what I'll be doing all weekend!

Friday Pussy Blog: The Chaos Edition

The latest accessory for your TV:




Evil kitty:



The good news is this room is in the process of getting carpeted as I write this. More on that in a bit.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Workplace Clutter

This is my life for the next 4 days - personal stuff on the left, work on the right. Not much room for papers and that's a good thing. Not much room for Tater Tot either and that's a damn good thing.


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The Fucking Trains

I love trains. I really do.

I grew up around freights. Long ones too.

But why did they have to rumble through town at 2:00, 3:00 and 4:00 am? And not only that, but they'd back up & go forward, back up & go forward, and then they'd start coupling.

If you haven't heard trains couple, then you haven't slept.

Happy New Moon Everyone!

Happy Holidays.

Crossposted from honoraryjew.com (not really)

There's a Quality Post Building Up in Me Somewhere

It's just not here tonight.

I am planning to work from home on Thursday and Friday so perhaps I'll slip in a post or two during the day. There's a big project looming and as soon as that comes down I'll be busy, but in the meantime, maybe I can get some other stuff done.

I plan to be so busy at some point during the next four days, I not only brought home my laptop, but the entire docking station and monitor in a box!

The docking station is really nice and it was well worth the effort to place it in a box and bring it home. It makes working so much easier. I will probably end the week (which ends on Friday) with a record number of hours for me, and the next week which starts on Saturday... well, I plan to get a head start this weekend as well and will end up with two 50+ hour weeks.

I gotta do what I gotta do, and I gotta get paid.

Thursday To-Do List: Get leak in tire fixed and get state inspection done on the German vessel. Then touch up paint in all the rooms getting carpeting, and maybe... if I'm in the mood, paint the inside of the closets. (Fat chance!)

Friday To-Do List: Sit around and work while laborers install new carpeting.

Saturday To-Do List: Put everything back in place. Blog about it.

Sunday To-Do List: Relax, and work some more.

Damn, September will be half over by the time I finish this to-do list.

Monday, September 10, 2007

A Bottle of Red, A Bottle of White

It's wine night at the kona ranch.

A sauvignon blanc made a nice segue to a robust cab loaded with cherries.

Happy Monday!

Sunday, September 09, 2007

All Show and No Substance

This is one of my big pet peeves. I think music and entertainment DO mix, but I do NOT think entertainment should ever, in any way whatsoever, overpower the music, when it's supposed to be all about the music.

Take any of your big pop stars today. There's your example.

Watch the MTV Music Video Awards.

They should just remove the word "music" from it.

The video should supplement the music, show you the pain and the emotion.

Instead it's just a cheap fucking Vegas show.

And I despise it.

And it's an infomercial for The Palms.

My God, marketing has gone to a whole new level.

And let's not forget that ART is not allowed to enter the picture, and by that I mean art as honesty.

We must bleep all the "bad words."

It's like airbrushing away Mona Lisa's smile, and making her thinner as well.

While still claiming it's great original art.


Bovine excrement.

Lunch with Gabby

Yesterday, txrad and I were invited out to lunch with Gabby. What a sweet old dog. Oh, Rebecca and her husband were also in tow.



We were treated to a fine lunch and a margarita at Guero’s Taco Bar. What a lovely treat!


Friday Pussy Blog - The Vintage Edition

As I was digging around in my box of pre-digital photos last weekend I ran across a number of photographs of our feline friends I wanted to share with you, so here we go.

(This effort will be continued on Saturday because unfortunately, every time I load my photo software it closes down.)

***SUNDAY UPDATE*** Thanks to advice from Nik.E.Poo over at the Virtual Pub, I have downloaded Firefox and can now upload photos again. Pussy blogging will now resume at it's regularly scheduled time.

Here's a bunch of barn pussies from txrad's days in North Dakota. They all look like a heap of trouble.




Back in the mid-80s, someone convinced me to adopt a cat. Bad idea. I could barely take care of myself. I was never attached to this cat although I do remember his name was Skeezix. I didn't name him and I think I may have eventually given him back to the person who gave him to me. I honestly can't recall.



Here's a photo I took when we lived in L.A. I think. I don't remember the type of business these felines were guarding but it made me laugh.



Another freaky Siamese from txrad's vintage collection.



Ahhh, it sure is nice to be blogging again.

Friday, September 07, 2007

The Bitter Pill

Why does kathy Patty Griffin rail against the bitter end when it's quite obvious it's inevitable.

The Week That Was Totally Wrong

Nothing was easy. I had the most work-intensive week of my entire 17-year career in the advertising industry.

I said today that I had a new drinking game: I'd drink a shot for every Excel spreadsheet I'd manipulated all week and I'd be in the hospital Saturday morning. I'm serious.

As long as I'm not expected to do advanced level stuff like pivot tables, I can work wonders and magic with Excel. I've done it for about 15 years. And I did it this week, but not without trials and tribulations.

I massaged a HUGE amount of data. It wore me to the bone. But I accomplished what I set for myself as goals for the week, and I'm amazed. But I had problems along the way.

By the end of this week, even simple tasks like sorting data were proving to be a hassle. Nothing was as easy as it normally is.

So when I came home, after a 10.5 hour work day, I realized even the week fucked me over. Despite working more than 8 hours all week, I got no overtime because of the Monday holiday. So basically I worked harder than I have in my entire life and made less than I normally do in a routine 5-day workweek.

Great.

And the last thing I needed when I got home was MORE hassles with Blogger and Photobucket, which shut down everyfuckingtime I tried to upload a photo.

The program would just close and leave me facing my desktop.

So, without further ado, I bid you adieu.

Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you.

Remind anyone of any blonde Austrians?

I'd post a photo, but I'm sure I'd get shut down.

There's a sad sort of clanging from the clock in the hall
And the bells in the steeple too.
And up in the nursery an ubsurd little bird
Is popping out to say cook-coo cook-coo, cook-coo
Regretfully they tell us cook-coo
But firmly they compell us cook-coo
To say goodbye cook-coo...To you...
So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye
Marta:
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight
So long farewell, auf weidersehen adieu
Freidrich:
Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you
So long farewell, au revior auf weidersehen
Liesl:
I'd like to stay and taste my first champagne
Yes?
Captain:
No
So long farewell, auf weidersehen goodnight
Kurt:
I leave and heave a sigh and say good bye - goodbyyyyyyeeeee!
Brigitta:
I'm glad... to go.... I cannot tell a lie
Louisa:
I fleet, I float, I fleetly flee I fly...
Gretl:
The sun... has gone... to bed and so must I...So long...farewell...auf weidersehen goodbye...Goodbye...Goodbye....Goodbye....
Guests:
Goodbye...

Thursday, September 06, 2007

22704

That's gotta be surburbia, and you can't deal with my infinite nature, can you?

Haven't you people ever obsessed over I Huckabees?

22704 was a house number in one of the shots. I don't know why, but it made me laugh, because any five digit street number on a house is definitely not inner city. The rest of the line about "infinite nature" was a quote from a character in the movie. I think. Hell yes I was doing tequila shots! Now, carry on.

My Initial Thoughts Is

We should not have another president with terrible grammar.

Put an X by Fred Thompson. He just reads lines, but can't speak worth a damn.

I don't want another old bald-headed uneducated white man in the White House.

That's just me.

No offense to bald heads; it's just the combination that annoys me.

Not on youtube yet. Terrah alert: <<.ELEVATED.>>

Bedtime for Bonzo.

A Kona Quickie

It's a brutal week at work so blogging has been lighter than I would prefer. But I've made tremendous progress today on a couple of big projects and hopefully next week will be a lighter load.

Status update on the home improvement project: Can't remember if I mentioned this before but the carpet installers should be here a week from Friday (September 14) and I'll have finished pictures up probably on Saturday if we get all the furniture back in place. I'm so excited. This means I have to finish all my painting touch ups this weekend.

That's about it for now. Hey, quick question.... who do you think "won" the Republican presidential debates last night?

I can't say with any certainty because I was doing tequila shots before, during and after, but I do like a lot of what Ron Paul had to say. I thought Huckabee and McCain were so busy yanking each other's dicks it's fairly obvious they are having a fantasy ticket scenario dancing in their heads. Tancredo, Romney and Brownback were just predictably nauseating. Giuliani scored a few points but I still despise the man.

I guess I'm just not a Republican, but ya'll didn't know that did ya?

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Best Casino Ploy for Traffic

Ahhh, I used to love Las Vegas and went every year.



I finally broke the habit and I'm very glad I did. Especially now that they destroyed the Stardust and those lovely sexual squirting fountains which were one of MY highlights on the Strip. Fuck the Bellagio and their obnoxious gushers.


Sperm shot! (txrad didn't duck. Brave man!)

I guess I finally came to the conclusion that I'd have much better luck taking $3,000 and giving it out to the homeless in hopes of instant good karma rather than dropping it 25-cents at a time into a big noisy machine which makes farting noises while teasing the hell out of me. A homeless person never did that.

Of course, I haven't given $3,000 to the homeless, but it's a far more noble endeaver than blowing the same wad of cash in a casino.

On one of my last few visits to Vegas I took these photos. This last one I found particularly amusing.



I guess the 99-cent shrimp cocktail just wasn't getting enough folks in the door.



Crossposted at B3

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Strange Is As Strange Does

You Are 62% Strange!

Based on your score, it seems you do have a healthy dose of strangeness. You aren't THAT far out, but you are somewhat bizarre. Congratulations on being different and having some quirks. It makes you an interesting person!

How Strange Are You?
Quizzes for MySpace



Via Jack. (Who else?)

My only complaint was with the coolest sport question. It didn't offer "curling" as an option. That would have put me over 70% for certain.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Pre-Digital Photographs!

What is it about dragging out an old box of photographs that is so exciting? It's like finding a treasure chest. And it's also an unpleasant revelation. I have found pictures of me at the age of 20 -- I was what my mother would call a "clean-cut handsome boy." Not any longer.

As I hold these photos in my hands I can't believe so much time has passed. It doesn't seem that long ago. And yet, if I wanted to share those photos back then with anyone, I had to drive over to their house, or mail them to someone. Now I can just scan and post.

I've had a scanner built-in with the copier and fax machine all this time and never used it before today. It works quite well.

I have decided I'm going to do "Vintage Cat Blogging" this Friday. That will be fun.

Meanwhile, I'll share a few things with you.

txrad and I just celebrated 17 years together. I dug around and found one of my favorite photographs which was probably taken just a few weeks after we met.



Wow, that San Diego air just worked wonders on my hair, didn't it?

Back around 1991 or 1992 I went back to North Dakota with him to visit his family. I always liked these two shots of us in the Badlands. The windy northern plains also had a way of working my hair into a frenzy.



And txrad, well he's just sexy as hell, no? Eye Candy for konagod!


The photo of txrad was taken on Lake Sakakawea the third largest man-made lake in the US and created by Garrison Dam, one of the largest rolled earth-fill dams in the world. txrad's brother took us out on the lake on his boat one very brisk day (it was June!). We had spent the previous night sleeping in a tent on the ground which probably accounts for why we both appear rather haggard. Hey, it builds character.

I'll probably catch hell from txrad for not clearing the photos with him first, or for posting them at all, but I wanted to make this a surprise.

Thanks for 17 of the best years of my life. I love you.

It's sad we can't get legally married when our relationship has been more fulfilling and has lasted longer than the average legal marriage. That too shall change eventually.

8 Things Meme

About a month ago (yeah, I know! I've been crazed.) I was tagged by maurinsky.

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged and that they should read your blog.
5. 8 is a magic number. Not three.


Thems the rules - here are the random things about me:

1. While there are many things I hated as a child and learned to love as an adult, butterscotch is not one of them. It absolutely makes me want to retch just thinking about it. So why am I? Let's move on.

2. In the months prior to starting college, and even several years into college, I evaluated practically every college in the country trying to decide where I really wanted to be. I also considered practically every available major. As a result, I was familiar with hundreds of colleges and could pull trivia out of my head about each one of them.

I spent about 9 years trying to decide and eventually ended up with the most generic worthless degree imaginable: Bachelor of Liberal Arts with minors in general business, French and German. I also attended more colleges than the average Joe: three University of Arkansas campuses at Fayetteville, Little Rock, and Monticello, as well as the University of Denver, University of Colorado, Harvard Summer School, and a summer at Université de Montpellier in France. The stint at the University of Denver lasted all of one week. I'm certain my parents wanted to kill me. I did eventually get that parchment from Little Rock.

3. While in Little Rock, I attended the governor's ball one year and shook hands with Bill and Hillary.

4. My first vehicle was a forest green Dodge Ram pickup. I wish I still had it. It would be seen freqently in the parking lot at Home Depot and at Natural Gardener.

5. Excessive clutter and dirt make me insane. (And yes, I live in clutter right now.) I like for everything to be organized, neat and tidy. I keep my shirts hung in the closet grouped by color.

6. I am obsessed with maps. I have a ton of them stashed away in the house. Sometimes I'll just sit down and spend 20 minutes flipping through a U.S. Road Atlas. Recently I redemed some American Express mileage points for $150 in Barnes & Noble gift cards. I plan to buy a really nice World Atlas.

7. I am also obsessed with statistics from the US Census Bureau. This started in my early teens. I could spend hours poring over the data and if I were to calculate the total amount of time I've spent looking at the data, it would probably amount to many weeks.

8. The fastest orgasm I've ever had in my life was in a jetted hot tub. It was unplanned and did not involve me touching anything of mine. It happened in about 6 seconds. Ever since then I have longed to own a hot tub. Those high pressure jets are wonderful.

Tagged: Portly Dyke, Jennifer, Sherry, Isabelita, Angelos, The Red Queen, Tonya, and Tata.

Because this meme is so old now, some of you may have already been tagged by others; if so, just point me to the post on your blog.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Green Living

txrad and I have been into the Green Movement for a very long time. We frequently ridicule excessive plastic packaging and mass-produced chunks of plastic crap that are quickly destined for a landfill. The holidays are a particularly lucrative time for this.

We save and reuse just about anything that can be saved. Plastic grocery bags are crammed into one of our kitchen drawers. They are useful for cat litter containers as long as I double bag it. Some of the smaller ones aren't adequate for that, but are perfectly suitable for cat vomit. Any unused bags eventually get stuffed tightly into a larger bag and placed in the trunk of the car where they will eventually be returned to the store for recycling. Ditto with the plastic newspaper bags.

Some things we use very minimally which other people might use almost daily.

I always laugh when I open one of our kitchen drawers and see this.



You're probably thinking, "So? He saves and reuses foil."

Yes, we do as evidenced by the foil in the drawer at the bottom of this picture. But that's not the point of this post, and certainly there's no humor in that.

Some of you may know Ralphs from California. It's a large supermarket chain out there. This is the most recent box of foil we have purchased and it was bought when we lived there. As you can see, there's quite a bit of it left.

Later this month we celebrate 10 years of living in Austin.

So yes, when I open the drawer and see that Ralphs foil, it does make me laugh.