Where Do Gurus Hide?

I've heard him described as a "living saint," and something more than a mere mortal. And now he's a fugitive from justice with an arrest warrant. God does indeed work in mysterious ways.

With the subject of their deliberations still missing and presumed on the lam, a Hays County jury on Tuesday sentenced a religious guru to 14 years in prison for each of 20 counts of molesting two girls who grew up on the Hindu ashram he founded and led in Central Texas.

This should not be so shocking. We read about church leaders all the time who have been caught in a sex scandal of some kind of another. But I have a keen interest in following this story due to my personal involvement and experiences, and the friendships I've had with a number of devotees, as well as having business dealings with some of them early in my career.

I can't help but be dismayed by the blind allegiance to this man, and attempting to justify improprieties against a 12-year-old.

When he began fondling her when she was 12, Rose said: "It just felt so wrong. He was my first kiss by a man ever. The first time anyone touched my breasts, it was Prakashanand."

In the few instances in which they told an adult of the incidents, the women said, they were instructed that the touching had a higher purpose. "I was told it was a test and if I failed it I would go to hell," Rose said. The other women said they were told the guru was gracing them.

[...]

The dramatically differing testimony left jurors with the task of establishing whether the women were lying to hurt the guru or whether his devotees were lying to protect him. Each side struggled with proving or disproving a case based on incidents alleged to have occurred 15 years earlier.

Well, let's see here. A devotee tells a young girl who has not yet entered her teens that she will go to hell if she does not allow a saint to fondle her breasts and kiss her lips. It is not hard to see who is trying to protect whom.

One also has to wonder just how brainwashed you'd have to be to fork over enough bail money to sustain a struggling town during an economic downturn, or feed 100,000 poor and homeless people quite well for a month or longer.

Hays County authorities also began the process of collecting $11 million in bond money and other financial commitments they said Prakashanand forfeited when he did not show up in court Monday morning.

[...]

...[Peter] Spiegel, a direct-marketing executive who lives primarily in California, has the most to lose from Prakashanand's disappearance. Not only did he put up a $1 million cash bond, he also signed a $10 million indemnity agreement in October 2008. In exchange, prosecutors agreed to return the guru's passport so he could travel to his other temples.

Prakashanand's passport was revoked five months ago, but prosecutors said the agreement still called for Spiegel to pay $10 million if the guru did not show up for trial. On Tuesday, Spiegel said he did not fully understand what he was signing at the time.

Bullshit! I've known this savvy businessman for 20 years. He did not amass his wealth by not fully understanding what he was signing at any time! I'm sorry he placed a bet and lost, but you don't get to demand your $11 million back from a casino because you didn't fully understand how the craps table works!

WHAT WOULD JESUS DRIVE?

From my early exposure to Swamiji and his devotees, I distinctly remember an emphasis being put on total devotion to God, rather than being focused on maya, the illusion of our present reality which interferes with our understanding of God.

It's always refreshing to see the preacher of such a beautiful philosophy driving around in a Lexus with vanity plates!

Meanwhile, the guru is missing and law enforcement can't seem to locate an 82-year-old bearded man in saffron robes. I can't help but wonder if they are searching in the wrong country, despite the revocation of his U.S. passport. Perhaps the notion of justice is also part of maya.

Falling From Religion

I'm not sure why I spent so much time earlier in my life searching for a religion that was right for me. In my 20s I basically explored every aspect of Christianity before abandoning that altogether.

As I entered my 30s and got my first real job in the advertising industry 20 years ago in Los Angeles, I worked for a company whose founder and several employees were involved in the Hindu religion. They were great people and were passionate about their religion.

I attended a few events and ceremonies in an effort to give that a whirl. It seemed like the last best chance. The spiritual leader would swing through town two or three times a year and I looked forward to attending a service in his presence.

The first time I saw him I was rather surprised at his child-like qualities. At one point during the service he unexpectedly began throwing candy at the devotees. And I don't use the word "throwing" lightly. I mean he was hurling candy at us like there was a large cash prize for any injuries sustained!

After a few more weeks of careful consideration, I decided to opt out. There were too many rules, too much obsession, or devotion, if you want to call it that. Clearly, it was not right for me.

I like to attribute my departure to Ella Fitzgerald. One evening as I was driving to a satsang, I had the radio set to my favorite jazz station and heard Ella. It wasn't the first time I'd heard her sing, but the particular song resonated with me in a way that few songs do.

At that point I decided I'd rather do a U-turn, skip the satsang, swing into Tower Records, and buy that CD! And then I went home. I have never had a calling for any particular religion again since that night.

There is an Austin connection to all this. The owner of the ad agency was a major figure in this group, and was a key financial contributor as they acquired land outside of Austin and began construction of the temple. She also established a 2nd advertising agency in a building on the temple grounds. Devotees at the Los Angeles agency began their exodus to Austin in the mid-1990s.

As I was getting tired of the LA rat race, txrad and I made the decision in 1997 to take positions at the agency on the temple grounds and we moved here. We bought the house we live in today primarily because of the proximity to the temple. It was a short 9.5 mile commute to work.

That agency is no longer around and I've had 5 other jobs in advertising since I left there. I've also seen a number of my friends who were hardcore devotees drift away during that time which I thought was rather surprising considering their earlier intense feelings about it.

Maybe they had a hunch that something was amiss with the guru. I don't know for sure, because I've never discussed it with any of them. Let's just call it a "touchy" subject.

God Bless Ella!

As Seen On Facebook

Sometimes hardcore Christianity backfires. Sheldon was sent to Bible camp when he was around 15 and was awakened. He decided that was not for him.



I have similar tales to tell.



So, keep on pumping your money into these camps because somewhere along the way you are fueling the other side. Just as in real life. Just as in politics. Just as in relationships, and just as in life and cosmic debris. And if you procreate enough, you will eventually make another homosexual who will eventually stray. The cycle of life and philosophy is so brilliant and predictable. Why it's not boring is beyond my comprehension.

signed: konagod.

I pledge allegiance to the doom.

Oh, For the Love of God!

It doesn't take much to rattle people's cages and get their panties in a knot. Bus ads, which are pretty easy to ignore, could even do the trick if the ads happen to be atheist messages, especially during this most blessed time of year when Christians of all stripes are on their best behavior.

But the reaction from believers has been harsher than anyone in the nonbeliever’s club expected. Some ministers organized a boycott of the buses, with limited success. Other clergy members are pressing the Fort Worth Transportation Authority to ban all religious advertising on public buses. And a group of local businessmen paid for the van with the Christian message to follow the atheist-messaged buses around town.

Because, you know, it's just all about the love of God.

The ads have incited anger in some places. Vandals destroyed two bus ads in Detroit, ruined a billboard in Tampa, Fla., and defaced 10 billboards in Sacramento. One billboard in Cincinnati was taken down after the landlord received threats.

And the local rapid transit authority in Des Moines pulled atheist ads off its buses in August last year because of complaints from local religious leaders. Four days later, however, the authority reversed its position after the local group that had bought the ads threatened legal action on First Amendment grounds.

Wait! What? What's the First Amendment shit? Sign up for God first and then you can start exercising that First Amendment right, you silly atheists! Where did you get this absurd notion that you have an equal right to not believe in a deity? Or to acknowledge publicly that others like you may be out there?

Sorry, that just poses too much of a threat so just keep your mouths shut and pretend to fit in here. You are making too many other people uncomfortable!

Some of the fiercest criticism has come from black religious leaders. The Rev. Kyev Tatum Sr., president of the local Southern Christian Leadership Conference, has called for a boycott of the buses, saying the ads are a direct attack during a sacred time in the Christian calendar.

Don't even get me stated on the sanctity of this "Christian calendar," and all those twinkling lights, decorated trees, Santa Clauses, and angry shoppers. Jesus would certainly encourage a fistfight if one of his followers failed to get that last iPad off the shelf before a hellbound atheist grabbed it!

And then things calm down a bit before moving on to colored eggs and bunny wabbits.

There is some hilarious irony in the fact that most of the atheists I know could be role models for many Christians. But that's not the point. Non-believers are supposed to sit down, shut up, and be invisible so as not spoil all the fun for the saved.


"Nobody owns December."

-- Terry McDonald, chairman of Metroplex Atheists, part of the Dallas-Fort Worth Coalition of Reason.

There Is No God. There Is Only Market Share.

A number of atheist groups are about to kick off a holiday ad campaign in an attempt to rally the troops.

The godless groups say they are mounting this surge because they are aware that they have a large, untapped army of potential troops. The percentage of American adults who say they have no religion has doubled in the last two decades, to 15 percent, according to the American Religious Identification Survey, conducted by researchers at Trinity College in Hartford and released in 2008. But the ranks of the various atheist organizations number only in the tens of thousands.

That is one reason for the multiple campaigns: the groups are competing with one another to gain market share, said Mark Silk, founding director of the Greenberg Center for the Study of Religion in Public Life, which is also at Trinity College.

“There’s a competitive environment for ‘no religion,’ and they’re grabbing for all the constituents they can get,” Mr. Silk said.

Relying on the largess of a few wealthy atheists, these groups are now capable of bankrolling efforts to recruit and organize a population that mostly has been quiet and closeted.

As a society, we may vehemently disagree on Democratic policies vs. Republican policies, hard right vs. hard left, fact vs. fiction, up vs. down, top vs. bottom, over vs. under, large vs. small, gay vs. straight, and God vs. godlessness. But if there is one true belief on which we can agree, it is the importance of market share!

Things that get my dainty white lacy Queer panties in a tight little knot.

Say whatever you want about climate change. Go ahead; call it a hoax. Say it's a mass conspiracy by the scientific community to drum up support for grant money. Call it a natural cyclical phenomenon.

You can even drag your religion into it, if you feel you must. I've got no problems whatsoever with evangelicals who want to argue that our earth is God's creation and it is our duty and responsibility to treat it with respect.

Make the case that we have a duty to wean ourselves off oil imports from unfriendly producers like Iran even while steadfastly making the case that it's not a reaction to global warming.

Whatever.

Just do me one favor, please. Don't ever say this:

“I read my Bible,” Mr. Dennison said. “He made this earth for us to utilize.”

Because if you truly believe it is our God-given duty to burn through every resource on the planet, burning anything that will move a vehicle in the process, then you are simply an idiot.

Thoughts On God And Heaven

If there is a God, I think He or She should be more like Me in terms of how I deal with my outside cats.

I'd like to hear "come on in the big house. Take a look around. See if it's right for You, and if You want to go back outside to think it over, be My guest."

Somehow it just doesn't seem right that We should have to buy into this sight unseen.

Word of mouth often goes awry.

Honk 4 Ignernt Assholes

Oh, the irony!

You are not alone.

Just make sure you remember where "your country" came from and how you got it in the first place.

Conflicts generally known as "Indian Wars" broke out between American government and Native American societies. The Battle of Little Bighorn (1876) was one of the greatest Native American victories. Defeats included the Creek War of 1813-14, the Sioux Uprising of 1862, the Sand Creek Massacre (1864) and Wounded Knee in 1890.[68] These conflicts were catalysts to the decline of dominant Native American culture. By 1872, the U.S. Army pursued a policy to exterminate all Native Americans unless or until they agreed to surrender and live on reservations "where they could be taught Christianity and agriculture."

Of course. How the hell did the savages get by for 20,000 years, before whitey showed up, without knowing a damn thing about agriculture?

This land is your land, this land is my land
From California to the New York Island
From the Redwood Forest to the Gulf Stream waters
This land was made for you and me.

This land is my land, it is not your land
I've got a shotgun, and you don't got one
I'll blow your head off, if you don't get off
This land was made just for me.

You sure about that? Or do you just want the portion of it back that benefits you at the expense of others?

Monday Morning News InDigestion

Disclaimer: I've been in a pretty foul mood since mid-afternoon on Sunday, and I'm unlikely to find a lot of news to alter that situation.

First, let me say this: cable set top boxes have long been a technological pet peeve of mine since the early 80s. This dinosaur should have died off in the late 80s, or early 90s at the latest.

But, I have satellite. Cable can bite me. That's not to say I don't have issues with the satellite receiver but at least it serves a purpose other than decoding.

--------------------

A Jonesboro, Arkansas atheist group is cleaning up a stretch of a major highway leading into the town. The Arkansas Highway and Transportation Department will provide signs indicating that the group has adopted the stretch of highway.

Two Four aspects of this story I find deeply disturbing to the extent that they grate on my last raw nerve.

1. Without a doubt, any town referred to as Fort God because of the number of churches, probably shouldn't have any litter.

2. Odds would dictate that much of the litter is being generated by people who would refer to themselves as Christians.

3. I wonder how many Christian groups are out cleaning the highway instead of bitching about atheists doing the grunt work.

But some religious leaders are already concerned about the image it could paint for Jonesboro. "I'm not excited about it," said John Miles, senior pastor of the First United Methodist Church of Jonesboro. "Not many of us want to be known as the town with the organized atheist group."

4. Oh, grow the hell up and deal with it! Garbage along the highways is preferable to having atheists clean it up if the atheists get any recognition for the effort?

--------------------

Then there was the stench of rotting eggs emanating from the Vatican on Easter Sunday.

Easter Sunday Mass in St. Peter's Square, the Catholic church's most joyous celebration, began with a senior cardinal defending Pope Benedict XVI from what he called "petty gossip" and hailing him for "unfailing" leadership and courage.

But the pontiff himself ignored accusations that he perpetuated a climate of cover-up for pedophile priests, even as sex abuse scandals threatened to overshadow his papacy.

[...]

Jewish leaders, and even some top Catholic churchmen, were angered after Benedict's personal preacher, in a Good Friday sermon, likened the growing accusations against the pope to the campaign of anti-Semitic violence that culminated in the Holocaust.

The preacher, the Rev. Raniero Cantalamessa, told Corriere della Sera daily in an interview Sunday that he had no intention "of hurting the sensibilities of the Jews and of the victims of pedophilia," expressed regret and asked for forgiveness.

He was quoted as saying that the pope wasn't aware of what the sermon would say beforehand, and that no Vatican officals read the text before the Good Friday service.

The apology satisfied one Jewish leader, Elan Steinberg, vice president of the American Gathering of Holocaust Survivors and their Descendants.

"Now that he has apologized and the Vatican has distanced itself from those remarks, the matter is closed," Steinberg said in a statement.

Whatever. Elan Steinberg is such a pushover.

Honestly, this has gotten to the point where apologies are meaningless. Only actions will carry any weight.

As much as I oppose aggression and violence though, I will confess to having a bit of disappointment in not being able to locate a video of the broom handle incident, not to mention the incense bowl used for (testicle?) protection.

Separately, in Germany, where the church is facing intense criticism about the widening abuse scandal, a man attacked the Roman Catholic Bishop of Muenster with a broom handle during an Easter service in the city's cathedral, police said.

Bishop Felix Genn, 60, defended himself with an incense bowl and was unharmed. After the incident, he continued celebrating the Easter service. The man's motive was unclear, police said.

How exciting was your Easter?

There Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

Finally found something worthwhile to fill this space.

Beat Someone to Shit... for Christ

Some days I wake up and I swear I don't even recognize the world in which I live.

Today is one such day.

I just can't wrap my head around the idea of a church/fight club. Let's go to church and kick some ass!
Hmmm. It makes about as much sense as me slicing myself up with razor blades to wake up in the morning as opposed to making coffee.

Recruitment efforts at the churches, which are predominantly white, involve fight night television viewing parties and lecture series that use ultimate fighting to explain how Christ fought for what he believed in. Other ministers go further, hosting or participating in live events.

The goal, these pastors say, is to inject some machismo into their ministries — and into the image of Jesus — in the hope of making Christianity more appealing. “Compassion and love — we agree with all that stuff, too,” said Brandon Beals, 37, the lead pastor at Canyon Creek Church outside of Seattle. “But what led me to find Christ was that Jesus was a fighter.”

It sounds to me as if they simply cannot deal with the fact that the lessons of Jesus were not full of machismo, so in order to accept it, they have to modify it.

Roughly 100 young men, many sporting shaved heads and tattoos, attend fight parties at Canyon Creek near Seattle, watching bouts on the church’s four big-screen televisions. Vendors hustle hot dogs and “Predestined to Fight” T-shirts. About half are not church members but heard about the parties through friends, said Mr. Beals, who is known as the Fight Pastor.

Jesus would be so proud.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go back to my mancave and hide out until my nausea subsides.

Same-Sex Marriage South of the Mason-Dixon

It could be legal by late spring in Washington DC (thanks Tracy for the clarification request), with any luck.

The City Council passed a measure Tuesday legalizing same-sex marriage, making the nation’s capital the first jurisdiction below the Mason-Dixon Line to allow such unions.

The bill, which passed by an 11-to-2 vote, may still face obstacles in Congress, among city voters and in the courts, but most advocates of same-sex marriage say they expect it to become law by spring. Mayor Adrian M. Fenty has said he will sign the bill.

Councilman David A. Catania, an independent and the author of the bill, gets my applause for opposing a referendum on the issue by summing up precisely why that shouldn't be on a ballot anywhere.

“It isn’t that I’m fearful of losing,” Mr. Catania said. “I think the process is diminishing. I think that putting the rights of minorities on the ballot and allowing the forces of intolerance to spend an unlimited amount to demonize and marginalize a population is unsavory.”

Speaking of "forces of intolerance..."

In November, the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said that if the ordinance were passed, the church might have to limit its social service programs that help residents with adoption, homelessness and health care.

That's nice, huh? I have to Bite. My. Tongue.

What's really twisted is that somewhere across this great nation, a vast number of fundies sincerely believe that God will seek revenge against Iowa, Connecticut, Vermont, and eventually DC and New Hampshire, by sending a catastrophic hurricane to the Florida panhandle or something. You know, God sucks at geography.

Witch Hunts of the 17th Century 21st Century

It just struck me today while I was on the bed having a bonding moment with my kitty that I could have been burned at the stake in the 1600s. And then I realized just how little the mentality of the fanatics has changed in the past 400 years. Amazing.

It gets worse. Notice in the next video how God seems to favor white people. Jesus was soooo white. Jesus.

Yep, the witch hunts have begun. Because, you know, we're after your children. We want to de-bone them for our winter stew. YUM YUM!

What the fuck is a royal diadem?

I'm sorry, but this serves what purpose? I just see natural shit. Completely devoid of this lordness. But Good God does it inspire those simpletons who buy into it like a kid with a nickle in a 1930s candy store.

This is the mentality guiding YOUR health care debate. You can choose to sit back as if observing a circus, and you would not be entirely wrong, or you could engage yourself.

Think.

Bullshit Brainwashing

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

What kind of parents would make a child say that kind of prayer at night?

I did, at the prompting of my parents, and we see where that got me, don't we?

Jesus H. Christ. Tequila, please.

Packin' Heat For Jesus (and the Bartender)

Ken Pagano, the pastor of the New Bethel Church in Louisville, is staging a "celebration of our rights as Americans" by encouraging his congregation to bring along the kids bring a hot dish for the potluck supper carry their firearms into the sanctuary. I kid you not.

“God and guns were part of the foundation of this country,” Mr. Pagano, 49, said Wednesday in the small brick Assembly of God church, where a large wooden cross hung over the altar and two American flags jutted from side walls. “I don’t see any contradiction in this. Not every Christian denomination is pacifist.”

And I'm a hardcore vegetarian except when I chow down on some veal.

Things are getting crazy out there and we need a reality check. Unfortunately, reality is not to be embraced by this group who see conspiracy in everything. Obama made me do it:

One worry was that a Democratic president and Congress would reinstitute the assault-weapons ban, which expired in 2004.

But there is little support for the ban. Mr. Obama and his party have largely ignored gun-control issues, and the president even signed a measure that will allow firearms in national parks.

Still, the fear remains that Mr. Obama, and his attorney general, Eric H. Holder Jr., will crack down on guns sooner or later. That — along with the faltering economy, which gun sellers say has spurred purchases for self-defense — has fueled a record surge in gun sales.

The NRA is busy...

The National Rifle Association says its membership is up 30 percent since November. And several states have recently passed laws allowing gun owners to carry firearms in more places — bars, restaurants, cars and parks.

“We have a very active agenda in all 50 states,” said Chris W. Cox, legislative director of the N.R.A., widely considered the country’s most powerful lobby. “We have right-to-carry laws in over 40 states; 20 years ago, it was in just six.”

Of the 40 states with right-to-carry laws, 20 allow guns in churches.

This is not a healthy trend.

The New York Times addresses a related issue in an editorial today.

...Tennessee, where the Legislature just overrode the governor’s veto and rescinded a law barring patrons from carrying handguns in bars and restaurants.

Just what America needs during times of economic strife, layoffs, and the related stress: drunks running around with guns! Another case has been made for drinking at home.

Not all is lost though; at least the Texas legislature, surprisingly, enacted a ban on the mentally ill buying weapons. But this leaves me wondering something rather important: define mentally ill.

Crossposted at Big Brass Blog

The Traditional Marriages We Never Hear About

Rev. Dr. C. Welton Gaddy on Olbermann

We saw Rev. Dr. C. Welton Gaddy a few months ago being interviewed on MSNBC and last night he was invited to appear on Countdown with Keith Olbermann. For me to have nothing but great things to say about a Baptist minister from the Deep South is surreal to say the least.

I don't know who plucked this guy from an obscure pulpit; maybe he did it himself to get a rational message out there.

Bravo.

Last night I was thinking he is the only minister I might actually enjoy hearing speak from a pulpit in a church. And I did not know until this morning that his church is the Northminster (Baptist) Church in Monroe, Louisiana, a town I pass through when I go visit my mother in Arkansas. In fact, Monroe is only 90 minutes from my mom's house.

I really like this quote from 2003 pertaining to the dangers of mixing religion with politics:

...what we've seen happen is our democracy, I think, is being crippled in its ability to practice healthy debate because of escalating every issue to a kind of transcendent religious moral substantive subject. When you do that you shut down the debate that makes democracy work, honest debate where there is an exchange of ideas and people refine their thinking and together our differences of opinion help us discover a better way.

This man is clearly adept at uncloaking bullshit for everyone to see and smell. I find him mesmerizing to watch, and such a refreshing voice of absolute reason in these frightening times when theocrats are clamoring for the national stage and power.

How to Slaughter a Hog (No, this is not about Glenn Beck)

Go.

You jump in the pig pen.

Then you circle the victim.

Pull out the ah, 20cc rifle

You shoot it in the middle of the forehead.

Grab the tractor and drag me out of the muck.

Go to craig's list.

I tried this as a haiku but I swear to God it DID NOT WORK.

Bat Mitzvah for the Swinging 90s

Probably the most interesting thing I saw in the New York Times this morning was the piece on the nonagenarian bat mitzvah. Yep, you read that correctly.

Photo credit: David Ahntholz for The New York Times

At 94 she can be forgiven her fear that she might be seized by a senior moment or two as she stands on the bimah on Sunday to recite the section of the Torah that was read in synagogue on the Saturday closest to her 12th birthday. So can the other nine women who will take part in the bat mitzvah ceremony at the service in the synagogue of the Menorah Park senior residence in this Cleveland suburb.

The youngest, Mintsy Agin, will turn 90 in July. The oldest, Molly Kravitz, will celebrate her 97th birthday in August.

The women grew up in the shadow of the Great Depression, when bar mitzvah ceremonies for boys were weekly affairs but Jewish girls came of age without notice or fanfare.

[...]

A self-described “feminist all my life,” Evelyn Bonder, 90, said she “always thought girls should have the chance to participate” in something that Conservative, Orthodox and Reform congregations embraced in stages.

Ms. Agin said: “My daughter had a bat mitzvah. But it was on a Friday instead of a Saturday. It wasn’t held inside the synagogue, and she wasn’t allowed to read from the Torah.”