Survival of the Fittest

I know this isn't funny, but I'm sorry; I'm grinning like a opossum.

Put down the gadgets before you're hit by a truck. Jesus. H. Christ.

A Staten Island teen trying to text while walking fell into an open manhole - and city officials have launched an investigation.

Alexa Longueira, 15, was walking with a friend along Victory Blvd. on Wednesday when she suddenly dropped underground.

"She's all scraped up on her back, under her arms and her shoulders," her mother, Kim Longueira, said

Apparently it tweaked Pam’s sense of humor with her post title which also cracked me up.

Maybe a lot of people are more coordinated than I am. I don't even like to walk while talking on a cell phone, must less texting. I don't text actually. I find typing on a full-sized keyboard tedious enough. And all this time I've assumed it's just me and my old age less than youthful vitality. Thankfully, I've been proven wrong by a 15-year-old.

At Least Ozzie is Off the Hook

Neither Black Sabbath nor Judas Priest have to take the heat for the actions of the Knoxville bigot who shot up a church. There was nothing subliminal at work here.

A man who the police say entered a Unitarian Universalist church in Knoxville, Tenn., on Sunday and shot eight people, killing two, was motivated by a hatred for liberals and gay people, Chief Sterling P. Owen IV of the Knoxville Police Department said Monday.

Why aren't Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, and Bill O being questioned?

Put On Your Radioheadsets

Time is warped tonight.

I have rediscovered Radiohead for free.

It's too bad they are trying to fuck with everything creative that I'm trying to do.

I keep selecting photos to upload and I get different photos when I upload them.

The evil fuckers have invaded my PC!!

Never mind. I figured it out. It wasn't them evil fuckers. It was simply incompetence.
Update: AHEM! Your host here would be advise to stay away from Photobucket while intoxicated. I had it open, but I was on page 2 or 3 of my album, and each time I selected the Thom Yorke photo, all I kept seeing appear on my Photobucket page was a scene from the yard or whatever. It was bumping the last picture from page one onto the the page I was on.



I'm gonna go there again.

Winners and Losers in 2006

The poll results are out for the villains and heroes of 2006, and the winner... and the loser is...

When people were asked in an AP-AOL News poll to name the villains and heroes of the year, Bush topped both lists, in a sign of these polarized times.

[...]

In the best celebrity role model category, 29 percent of adults chose talk-show host [Oprah] Winfrey.

Actor George Clooney, who's been advocating for refugees in the war-ravaged Darfur region of Sudan, finished third with 12 percent.

This is just pathetic. Bush probably can't pinpoint Sudan on a map and I'd guess a majority of the 27% of Republicans who say they believe he's the hero of the year have no idea what Clooney is even advocating.

At the top of the worst celebrity category was Britney Spears.

The 25-year-old pop singer and mother of two young sons recently filed for divorce from Kevin Federline, her husband of two years. She then followed with highly publicized nights out with party girls Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, including photographic evidence of Spears wearing no underpants, which raised questions about her fitness as a parent.

Since when did underwear determine one's fitness to be a parent? Would dirty undies make her a slightly better parent than none at all?


Liz at Blondesense has a good compilation of other year-end summaries.

Time Magazine's Person of the Year

Gee, where did they get that idea?

Courtney Love Minds Her Manners in Court

For some reason this made me smile, if only to count the days before she gives someone a black eye.

Courtney Love sobbed with joy and thanked a judge on Monday in Los Angeles after he ended her probation and dismissed three misdemeanor cases against her (two drug-related charges and one for assault and battery), The Associated Press reported. Ms. Love, 42, the former frontwoman for the rock band Hole and the widow of the Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain, told Judge Rand Rubin of Los Angeles Superior Court: “Thank you for not taking me into custody. Thank you for giving me an opportunity. You’ve been a good, fair judge. Sorry for crying.” The judge said, “You’ve shown to me you are interested in a much less destructive lifestyle.”

My advice would be to stay away from Pete Doherty as well.

"I'm Rick James, bitch!"

The TV Land cable network has compiled a list of the top 100 greatest catchphrases in TV, from the serious Walter Cronkite's nightly signoff "And that's the way it is" to the silly: "We are two wild and crazy guys!"

Something fun to start the day. I realized how far my tv roots go back when I started scanning this list; it's rather frightening that I can include favorites from the Honeymooners as well as more recent phrases from Dave Chappelle. "WHHHAT?"

You got any favorites, on or off the list? Leave 'em in the comments. I need amusement today.

Today's Notables

It's the 25th anniversary of the marriage of Luke and Laura on General Hospital. I know we're all going to pop a cork tonight to celebrate, right?

Also some notable birthdays today:

Blues-great W.C. Clark is 67. (The audience is noisy as hell in this clip but it was one of the few I saw where embedding was allowed.)

Diana Krall is 42.

Lastly, "Radical Russ," frequently contributor at Pam’s House Blend was one of two finalists in the competition for The Search for the Next Great Progressive Radio Star this morning. (Visit TalkProgress.org)

It was a close contest: By a vote of 3-2, Russ won!
Congratulations Radical Russ!

Utterly Tasteless

What's the point?

Fox will slaughter the competition the final week of the November ratings sweeps when it airs a two-hour interview in which O.J. Simpson details how he would have murdered his wife, Nicole, and Ronald Goldman more than 10 years ago.

Had he done it.

Which he didn't.

Just ask him.

[...]

"If I Did It" is also the title of the former pro football player's new book that, Fox said yesterday, hits bookstores Nov. 30 -- just in time for the holiday gift-buying season, ho, ho, ho.

This is one of the most unbelievably disturbing and shameless promotions I've seen in awhile. FYI, the murderer of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman is still at large.

Arrrrghhhh!

File under "Speechless."
Crossposted at Big Brass Blog

F**K

click it.

I loves me some Angry Black Bitch.
"4 out of 5 militant afros" for sure.

I Love Amy Sedaris.. Truly, Madly, Deeply

Something about her just warms the cockles of my heart.

Question

What does Matthew Broderick have in common with Madonna?

Snakes on a....

...muthafuckin' paper airplane.



Our local Alamo Drafthouse in Austin held a "Snakes on a Day" endurance contest. The film was screened for 24-hours and anyone surviving all 11 or so screenings could then leave without paying for any tickets. Fines were involved for those leaving early to benefit a charity: Venomousreptiles.org, a non-profit dedicated to raising awareness of our poisonous friends and rehabilitating injured venomous reptiles.

If you bailed after the first screening, you forked over $1000. For each subsequent screening, the price was reduced down by 50%.

Had I participated, I can assure you I'd be $1000 in the hole.

(This post is dedicated to my fearless Sister of the Shakespearean underworld.)