Bumper Sticker of the Week Award

Goes to the stupid bitch in our neighborhood who drives the Toyota SUV with the asinine bumper stickers:

1. Peace - The Old Fashioned Way (a bomber over an American flag was the imagery accompanying the punch line.)

2. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can read this in English, thank a soldier.

Now, pardon my French, but what the fuck? What soldier can claim responsibility for me reading in English? And what difference does it make what language I'm reading as long as I can read? And if I couldn't read her stupid-ass sticker, should I not thank a soldier? What if I could read it in English but didn't know what I was saying? What if I could read it in English and didn't know what the fuck she was on about?

I'm so very confused.