1. Do not fondle cats while wearing a black shirt.
2. While working for a company several hundred miles away as a satellite employee from your home, do not send an email to the staff announcing that fresh muffins have been baked and to come on down.
3. Do not invite work colleagues to your Facebook page where you routinely express your creativity and individuality lest ye be accused of smoking dope.
Follow these simple rules and you can probably skate through life with minimal hassles.