The Cost of Goods Sold

I'm fascinated by boxes and packaging. Some of it can be quite elaborate and I suspect some engineering team is paid quite a sum of money to devise the packaging so that a piece of cardboard or plastic can be constructed in such a way to facilitate a rather complex arrangement of products inside them. It's mind-boggling to me sometimes. And the only purpose is to get a product -- usually an electronic gadget of some sort -- delivered to us efficiently. We unpack and toss the box. It served its purpose. Trust me, I have a lot of experience with boxes and packaging.

This morning I went to the garage to break down some boxes that were stacking up in our utility room. They were beer boxes used to bring home six packs that we have purchased the last few months. Nothing too elaborate or complex there: four flaps on the top and four flaps on the bottom.

I often think about the beers we like being so expensive. Yes, they are high-end beers brewed with loving care by people who love the craft. And frankly, after breaking down a few boxes and contemplating this, I'm amazed they, and everything else we consume, aren't more expensive. I wonder how much of the $9 for some six packs is actually to pay for the 72 ounces of beer?

The bottles can't be cheap. There are full color labels on each one, and bottle caps as well. Sometimes clever stuff is printed on the underside of the caps. Six beers go into a carrying container which is covered with full color graphics promoting the brew. Four of these carrying containers go into a box. Each of the boxes are covered in ink promoting the product, and the bottoms and tops of them are glued shut for shipment.

Some graphics designer had to be paid to come up with the artwork, and marketing concepts take time to develop. All that cardboard had to be shipped from somewhere, as did the bottles, caps, and labels, and the glue used to seal them. Workers are paid to make the brew, and box it up for shipment. Equipment used to bottle the beers can't be cheap and surely requires frequent maintenance. These facilities require cleaning, and their utility bills must be enormous.

Large 18-wheelers come and load up hundreds of cases of these beers and prepare to haul them thousands of miles across the land. Truck drivers need to be paid, trucks require maintenance, insurance, and lots and lots of expensive fuel.

Upon delivery, some store clerk is paid to unpack the boxes and place the six packs attractively on the store shelves, and many of them sit in refrigerated compartments. Those of us craving a nice hop-filled brew will go to the store, select our brew of choice, and pay a clerk who is earning several bucks an hour to take our money. They place the beers back into a shipping box and off we go to drink it. We throw away our bottle caps, and toss the bottles into a recycling bin so another large truck can come every Wednesday and pick them up.

After a few weeks of this, I start breaking down boxes again, and thinking about all that ink.

"Set Beer Goggles to Stun"

For the past several days I've been saving bottle caps from the Big Sky IPA. Thought I'd share...

Hard tellin', not knowin'.

I'll Have What The Gentleman On The Floor Is Having

I can't think of a finer way to kick off a Monday morning than browsing through a selection of the funniest beer names of all time.

I'll have some Moose Drool followed by a Blithering Idiot, please!

Heineken????

"Fuck that shit! PABST.BLUE.RIBBON!!"

As it turns out, Frank Booth was 23 years ahead of his time.

Sales of PBR are up an astounding 25% this year, according to Information Resources Inc.

[...]

"It's an anti-establishment badge," added a major market wholesaler. "It seems to play to the retro, nonconformist crowd pretty well."

Shiner Turns 100

I loved the 97, 98 and 99s. I spotted the 100 label at the Hooch Emporium today and can hardly wait to give this one a spin.

The "Commemorator."

This is Austin; Let's Have a Drink...or Twelve

Forbes.com has a piece titled America's Hard-Drinking Cities and Austin is on the list. In fact, Austin may be The One.

Austin ranks high for its drinking habits across the board. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's (CDC's) 2007 Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System Survey, 61.5% of adult residents say they have had at least one drink of alcohol within the past 30 days, and a staggering 20.6% of respondents confess to binge drinking, or having five or more drinks on one occasion.

But if five or more drinks on one occasion constitutes binge drinking, or if that's considered "staggering" then hell, I binge drink every night. Define occasion. Is that like one evening? Or is an occasion a shorter span of time, like when Rachel Maddow makes an appearance on MSNBC, and you do five drinks during the time she's speaking?

When txrad and I open a bottle of wine, that's about 3 glasses each so I'm already 60% staggered. I always have a beer after my wine. It rinses away the sulfites from my mouth. That gets me 80% staggered. So if I top that off with 3 or 4 shots (my shots are probably less than half of an official bar shot) so let's just say two shots, then I'm 120% staggered.

And when Bush is doing an address to the nation, that's when I'm likely to increase my intake. Who wouldn't.

Collegiate excess has repercussions far beyond hangovers and missed classes, and should be of concern to members of the surrounding community.

What a crock of shit. The surrounding community isn't concerned because... THEY'RE ALL DRUNK! Or high. Or both.

"Binge drinking hurts not only the drinker but also others near him," says Henry Wechsler, Ph.D., a lecturer at the Harvard school of Public Health, where he was also the director of the College Alcohol Study, and author of Dying to Drink: Confronting Binge Drinking on College Campuses.

"The binge drinker disturbs the peace, through noise, vandalism and sometimes violence.

I've got one out of three covered. I will be making some noise tonight. But no vandalism or violence. I'll leave that to my neighbor, the meth addict.

A scene from the Wagon Wheel in Austin. Yeeee haawww! Drunk cowboys!

Booze Meme

Lordy, I'm feeling tipsy just from completing this one from Toast who actually took the time to put in links to many of his responses.

I don't have that much time; I need to make a run to the liquor store.

1. Beer, wine, liquor, mixed drinks. Rank 'em.

Liquor (tequila!)
Beer
Wine
Mixed drinks

2. How often do you drink?

Daily from 6pm to around 9pm.

3. Favorite Scotch?

Don't have one. I'd have to start out with those little bottles like they give you on the airplane and sample a few. But honestly, I'm not that inclined.

4. Favorite Bourbon?

See #3. At least I can say I have a memory of Jack Daniels. Not my favorite stuff.

5. Favorite tequila?

Ahhh. Now we're making progress. Cesar Monterrey Reposado is about as smooth as a baby's butt. Lots of interesting flavors emerge from this one. Very complex and I feel like I'm tasting nutrients the agave plants pulled from the soil. The bottles are pretty cool but we don't drink our liquor because the bottles are cool, now do we?

When I want to go cheap, El Ultimo Reposado is hard to beat. The just redesigned their bottles after being absent from the shelves for a few weeks. Also slightly different taste. I get lots of acidic/citrus flavors. Very nice tequila and for a tad over $16 at Spec's with the debit/cash discount, it's hard to beat for the money.

When I want to go spicy, I opt for the Hornitos Reposado. A definite peppery kick compared to the above two tequilas. There are other tequilas which I think are sublime and would consider them favorites, but at $40 or more per bottle, I just can't do it.

6. Favorite Gin?

I used to hate gin when I was younger. Always thought it tasted like pine sap. Then a few years ago I tried Bombay Sapphire and found it to be palatable, and because they have all the herbs and whatnot etched on the bottle, I realized why gin tastes the way it does. Very medicinal.

7. Favorite Vodka?

I rarely drink vodka but I was impressed with the last ones I tried: Grey Goose and Tito's from right here in Austin.


8. Favorite Rum?

Toast has a pretty good answer for this one: Appleton's Jamaican rum. There's another one I have tried and thought it was OK, but honestly, a little rum goes a long way in my book.

9. Drunkest you've ever been?

I got drunk in my college dorm once and ended up riding the elevator up and down on my bed mattress -- someone stuffed me under the mattress pad and hauled me to the elevator. I couldn't have been too drunk though since I still remember people voices although I couldn't see them of course.

I was celebrating a friend's birthday back in the mid-80s when a bottle of Jose Cuervo was put in my hand with a lime. I'd never done tequila shots before and after being instructed how to do it, I held on to the bottle, determined to keep trying until I perfected the art. When I finished the bottle I was perfected. I was so perfected that I spent the next 24 hours crawling from the bed to the toilet.

The absolute worst experience though was just under 3 months ago and I blogged at length about that at Black Soap. I have no desire to go into it all again. What's odd is that my prior "worst" episodes were intentional. I started the evening with every intention of getting shit-faced. The one in early March was totally unintentional which still leads me to wonder if our drinks weren't spiked with something. It would have been worth having a blood test to find out.

10. Red or White?

Yes. Red in the cooler months and white in the summer. Simple.

11. Best wine you've ever tasted?

Someone sent me a couple of bottles of red from Tuscany via wine.com and I was blown away. Wish I could remember the name of it but since they were $50 each I won't be buying them anyway. I find that Masi Campofiorin from Italy is pretty damn good for about $16 and there is also a white Masi that was delectable. I feel the same way about wine as I do about tequila: I can taste the difference between a $50 bottle and a $20 bottle, but if the $20 bottle is real good, I'm happy with that even if the $50 bottle is exquisite.

12. Favorite type of wine?

Very hard for me to say. I'm still trying to pin it down on the whites. As for reds, it's hard to beat a nice Merlot. I do like cabs and zins though.

13. Favorite every-day red?

This is going to sound generic but I really like the Columbia Crest merlot. It's consistently way above decent. But for everyday wines, I'm usually pretty happy with the 10% discount on 6 bottles at HEB. I'm always trying something new and usually average spending about $8-$9 a bottle.

14. Favorite every-day white?

See #12. I tend to respond to those mixed varietals until I nail down my favorite. Evolution is excellent but I don't like to spend $15 or $17 on a bottle of white very often. The Masi was definitely something I'll buy again and it was around $10 with the quantity discount.

15. Best value wine?

Whatever I buy for $9 or less that I'd definitely buy again.

16. Do you drink box?

If I'm having wine at a party (like that happens often), I would. But since I don't drink wine every day I prefer the bottles. I definitely prefer those new plastic composite corks over real cork now. Much easier to remove.

17. Fastest you've ever gotten drunk?

Anytime I ever drank anything that had Everclear in it. And I won't knowingly do that. It's a headache guaranteed to happen.

18. Longest you've ever stayed drunk?

From one evening's consumption, when I've gone over the top, I have still been drunk when I woke up the next morning. The longest was probably about 15 - 18 hours I guess when I'd finally start to feel sober around late morning. There was a Las Vegas trip though when I was probably intoxicated for several days, since it's Vegas, and those drinks as "free" I figured what the hell, let's get up in the morning and have a bloody mary.

19. Ever do anything you really regret while drunk?

I probably should not have pissed on an interior wall in some one's house in London back the in 80s. That's something a dog would do. Aside from that, reference back to #9. I regret even going to that party.

This next section is about beers. And I'm the same way about beer as I am about wine. I like variety, even in the same evening, and I rarely pay attention to whether I'm drinking a lager or an ale. I guess that disqualifies me from beer geekdom. And we tend to stick with a bunch of our regulars from around the Austin area rather than frequently trying new beers from around the world.

20. Favorite lager?

Shiner Bohemian Black Lager.

21. Favorite IPA?

Haven't had enough IPAs to even answer, if we're referring to India Pale Ale here.

22. Favorite brown ale?

Bootlegger by Austin's Independence Brewing and Brewhouse by Real Ale Brewing in Blanco, Texas.

23. Favorite doppelbock?

Not sure I've had a real Munich doppelbock in years. There may be some American beers I've had that would qualify as a doppelbock. I googled the term and Abita Brewing Company came up. They have one called Andygator which I've never seen here. I'll definitely give that one a try if and when I find it.

24. Favorite Belgian?

A few years ago we went on a Belgian beer binge, trying several different ones after seeing a documentary on TV. I can't remember any of them off the top of my head but there was one with a pink elephant or something on the bottle -- seems like it was a hard ceramic bottle. You beer pros will probably know what it is.

25.Favorite stout?

Ahh, Guinness. But only if it's on tap in Ireland or England. Or someplace where the shit isn't pasteurized into a meaningless existence.

26. Favorite Winter Ale?

Don't have one. We've tried a few winter ales from our nearby breweries but I can't even remember what they are.

27. Favorite Scotch Ale?

Can't say for certain I've ever had a Scotch Ale.

28. Favorite Other?

Freestyle, also by Independence.

29. Favorite Brewery?

As you can see, I lean heavily to local breweries. But I really like Abita just over there in Louisiana. Their raspberry wheat beer is not too sweet with a hint of raspberry rather than being overpowering as some are. And they've just come out with a strawberry as well. If I'm drinking tequila I like to start off with the Abita raspberry before moving on to a more robust brew. But on a hot day, the strawberry is quite refreshing.

30. Favorite mixed drink?

Without a doubt: margarita. It's the only mixed drink I ever have in Austin, and that's pretty rare these days. I do like a spicy Bloody Mary though, and a Long Island Iced Tea always does the trick when you need to turbo charge a dull evening.

31. Favorite morning libation?

I've never been much of a morning drinker, but if I'm on vacation in a casino, a bloody mary is a great way to kick of a day of slot-feeding.

32. Do you suffer memory loss when you drink heavily?

Not so much. Unless I've had a huge amount of liquor. Now if I've had a lot to drink and I've smoked some dope, then yeah, for sure. I turn on my PC in the morning with dread, wondering if I put up a stupid post that I don't remember, or worse: got on someone else's blog and said something embarrassing. I'm always relieved when it's just something infantile I've said.

33. Favorite place to drink?

I never get to travel on a real vacation, but I always loved drinking in front of a slot machine. But the most relaxing is beachfront. Anywhere.

34. Favorite sports bar?

I'm not really into sports bars per se. I had many a good time at a bar in Ocean Beach throwing darts though when I lived in San Diego. Can't remember the name of that dive now.

35. Ever consider AA?

Probably not. I have to attend enough meetings at work. And AA would probably put a crimp in my evening festivities.

That Bag In The Background Is Four Pounds of Pinto Beans

After getting a new roof (new pictures!) put on the house today, I wanted to celebrate with a new beer. I can't imagine why I picked this one:

Kona Longboard Lager. It's OK. I doubt I'll buy it again even though it's OK. I just expected better.

I really miss the good doc.

Another reason I don't take kindly to people bad-mouthing hard-working Mexicans. It takes some balls to get on a white man's house and start ripping his roof off. You better know what you are doing, and do it well. With confidence.

I'm impressed.

So tear down that fucking fence on the border. OK? Cause it's been a long time since I've seen a white man at my house doing any manual labor. Besides myself of course.

Good News On This Last Day of April

Hard to believe tomorrow is May.

Last night we tapped into a delicious bottle of white wine. While it was only $11.69 with a discount for buying six assorted bottles awhile back, it was exquisite which is to be expected for a nice Italian wine. We've had the red Italian Masi Campofiorin which is one of my favorites, so when I saw the white I had to give it a shot. Rather tart but refreshing on a warm evening, and the hint of sweet in the aftertaste makes it memorable.

So little did I know that we were actually celebrating something last night. Yes I knew the new roof was going to be installed on Thursday, but I didn't think about the fact that the materials would be delivered today, on Wednesday.

As if that wasn't enough cause for excitement, I had an email which I read last evening from my ex-boss at the agency informing me that one of my colleagues had resigned and there was an immediate opening for which I am extremely qualified.

Right at the moment when I'm spending every last cent of our savings on home improvements, there's a chance at least I will soon be employed again. In familiar territory, amid friendly folk.

Cheers! Here's to a happy May Day.

If the sun refused to shine, I don't mind.

Bootsy kinda has a Grace Jones vibe goin' on, doesn't he?

Saturday Beer Blogging

If I'm having a tequila night as opposed to a wine night, I enjoy starting off with a lighter beer -- ideally a raspberry brew, before moving on to the darker robust beers. txrad and I are usually in agreement when it comes to almost all beers and we enjoy the Purple Haze from Abita Brewing over in neighboring Louisiana. I like Purple Haze because it still tastes like a beer with just some raspberry essence.

Our beer run yesterday was to a store that doesn't stock Purple Haze but they had these Sea Dog Raspberry Wheat Ales from a brewery in Maine. I'm usually up for trying a new brew so we got a six-pack with only a slight reservation about the $8.99 price tag.

After my first sip I thought to myself, "This is VERY raspberry." After the second sip I realized just how sweet it was. I remained quiet until txrad opened his and took a sip. I was in another room when I heard him react.

Yes, we are in agreement once again. If you like a really sweet, overpowering fruity brew, you'll probably like this. Unfortunately, we do not, but we'll drink them. It does enhance the appreciation of the follow-up beers. That's for sure.

If anyone reading this has tried this or other Sea Dog brews, let me know what you think.

And there's an update to the Friday Pussy Blog down below.

A Chilly Wine Night

After today's 25 degrees drop in temperatures from previous days, and lows expected in the low 40s, it's a perfect night to pop the cork on this lovely bottle.

A 2000 Old Vines Tempranillo Reserva from Spain. $12.99 and as succulent as some of my favorite Tuscan wines. I just need to get in the kitchen, whip up a pizza pie, put on a movie, and prepare to relax.

Speaking of movies, last week when there was a Halloween costume contest at my place of employment, one of the guys there was dressed and in character as Walter Sobchak from The Big Lebowski.

Supposedly he won first place in a Lebowski fest here in Austin awhile back, and hung out afterwards with The Dude (the guy portraing the dude, I mean the guy at the festival portraying the dude, not THE Dude, dude) and that just had to be a hoot and a half.

"Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules? Mark it zero!"

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark

Monday Beer Blogging!

Shiner has a new brew out, presumably for Halloween perhaps, or maybe because I'm just getting back into a Goth/Heavy Metal mood.

Black is beautiful. And depending on whom you ask, probably dangerous.

We shall soon find out.

Yum! Gotta love those imported Czech and Styrian hops and that decadant chocolaty essence. "Schwartzbier" rocks!

PROSIT!

We Are NOT Alcoholics

It was a wild night in the kona household last night....

Actually, I forgot to put out the glass recycling to be picked up on the last Wednesday in September. Oh, I put it out but it was too late to be picked up. Sometimes they do come late but I was not so lucky that day.

I left the container full of bottles at the edge of the street for the entire following week so I'd not be bothered with having to remember. Last Wednesday came and went and the friggin' bottles are still there. Our recycling and garbage service is on a credit card autopay so I know it's not a payment issue.

Bottles are now starting to accumulate in the house and it's making me insane. I need to go find a box. Because we'll certainly empty a few more tonight.

sideways

i'm gettin' there.

it's a long slow slog.

Wine and Work Don't Mix

I'm just sayin'.

Wine is for relaxin' and conversatin'

And relaxin'.

It tends to have to opposite effect when mixed with unpleasant chores.

Tequila is a better choice for such an occasion. Because after about 5 shots, you just laugh and say, "fuck this shit. I'm havin' another beer."

My day:

I needed to print a business check for a vendor. The printer has somehow gotten knocked off the network. So I had the bright idea this morning to disconnect it from the router and plug it directly into my PC. Only when I unscrewed the cable connection there was a little bolt from the router that was stuck on the screw. I had to go to the garage to get pliers to pry it off or else I could not have plugged it into my PC.

Then I needed to install the software again with the printer drivers. It still didn't work.

This afternoon I came home and the test pages had eventually printed out. So I printed a check to the vendor which should have gone out 3 weeks ago. Then I couldn't use the postage meter on the envelope because the rental on the meter is past due. So I had to use two 39-cent stamps.

Such is the life of a konagod.

Pretty soon when I need to make a phone call, it will be like a scene from Green Acres. I'll be climbing a telephone pole.

This madness will eventually end.

Intercom Page of the Week

Nothing sounds better after a week such as this than hearing this page:

"Attention please: there's free beer in the first floor rotunda. First-come first-served."

I don't think I've ever gone down two flights of stairs so fast.

Look Ma! No Flies!

My old Siamese cat starting having issues with her food awhile back so I started having to give her a canned chicken "dinner." They are less than 30-cents a can so I'm not complaining about the cost.

What bugs me are the number of flies in the kitchen now since she doesn't lick her plate clean. There are dozens of them. And I've got to be honest here, I don't like flies hanging around when I'm making dinner. We all know how flies are attracted to shit, and food. I don't want flies on my cutting board, or on my food. I go absolutely insane.

So today I went to Home Depot and bought some of those little things that look like they might be Chinese fireworks. You pull the string while twisting the bottle counter-clockwise and this sticky tape comes out which is supposed to trap flies in the icky Thump glue. So far, no flies. Funny, since there are still quite a few hovering about in the kitchen.



I was just taking the last swig out of my beer and I felt some solid substance in my mouth. Thinking it was an abnormally large piece of food leftover from my lunch that had somehow dislodged itself from my teeth, I picked it out only to discover it was a DEAD FLY!

GROSS!

My only question is, why don't they go to the sticky tape? I guess we have smart flies here.

It's Friday Night and Beer-Thirty

Actually it's beer-forty-five. Do you know where your Virtual Pub is?

Nothing makes me happier than a fully stocked fridge.

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock & roll. Hotel motel, make me wanna cry.

Saturday Night Beer Blogging

After reading about all the potent brews present at the Tartfest, I decided to spend a few extra minutes today in the supermarket checking out some I've never tried. We picked up a six-pack of these.

The wallop started with the $10.99 price tag. The next wallop will be delivered courtesy of the 8.5% alcohol content after I've had a few shots of tequila. I'll post my comments later, but wanted to give a heads up that we have new brew in the house. This stuff comes from Downington, PA. "Hops, hops and more hops."

Don't I know some bloggers around there?

The verdict is in: This is quite good.. Very hoppy, but smooth. A little bitter but I'm not having to force myself to drink it. It's smooth and pleasurable with a hop bite. And txrad is laughing at a Hitchcock film, so all is well in konaville.

"No, mother, I have NOT been drinking. These two men, they poured a whole bottle of bourbon into me. No they didn't give me a chaser."