WACKY LETTERS OF THE DAY

Once in awhile I'm going to do this "Wacky Letters of the Day" post. I find endless amusement in letters to the editor. My old hometown paper, the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, always has some doozies, like this one from Marria:

Beliefs are not a theory

Don’t make fun of my father by calling him a witch doctor and I won’t make fun of your father who sits in the zoo, eats fleas and throws poop. Evolution is a theory, simple as that. Creation is not. At the age of 6, my son is a brilliant scientist. He examines the universe on a daily basis. He is constantly amazed at the intricate detail of plants and animals. He thanks God every night in his prayers for the wonderful world he made for him to explore. He is a true scientist who believes in a creator who lives in the heavens and created the universe in six days and rested on the seventh.

Please lady. Your son is 6 and already being brainwashed. Stop it. I'd like to report you for child abuse!

Up next, this one from Frank:

Irony most delicious

Isn’t it the most delicious irony that the America-hating left is defending a group whose name has the words “Dixie” and “Chicks” in it?

Oh come on Frank. "America-hating left?" That's so tired and worn-out. Figure out another way to divide and conquer because I'm friggin' sick of hearing that one, dude.

And finally, just when you thought you had a sane one on the hook (well, sane once you get past the total of 9 votes he cast for Nixon and the two Bushies).... enjoys these excerpts from Jerry's letter:

Solution is a simple one

I am a lifelong Republican. I’m 56 and the first ballot I cast was for Richard Nixon. I’m still very proud of that vote. I voted for former President George H.W. Bush four times. I’m still very proud of those votes. I also voted for George W. Bush four times. I am very sorry about those votes. I never dreamed that one administration could screw up so many things and never be right on any.

Donald Rumsfeld has to be the most inept cabinet member in history. How could anybody have American military power at his disposal and be fighting against Toyota trucks mounted with RPGs and be losing? It’s ridiculous. Nuke ’em. Bush, along with a very arrogant, if not stupid, Rumsfeld, wants to send 6,000 very proud, very effective members of the National Guard to “seal” the border. Why not 60,000?

I would bring all the troops home from Iraq, which hasn’t invaded us, and send them to Mexico, which absolutely has invaded us. Starting today, I will not patronize any company that asks me which language I want to conduct my business in until there is a real solution to the third Mexican invasion. The answer to the Mexican border problem: Nuke ’em.

If anyone wondered just WHY this country is rushing down the shittubes like an Olympic luge race for the gold, there you have it. And the scary thing is, that's just one newspaper on one day!