"Is it Friday yet?," the old drunk yelled while observing various insects on the patio. "I need my Thurber Friday."
"See the firefly?," said txrad, lovingly.
"Yes, I can grab it. No wait, that's a moth. Oh, I see the firefly! And look, there's a spider," said the old drunk.
The old drunk proceeded to move his finger in the direction of the spider, but above it to avoid disturbance. Then he touched the web, by accident of course. The spider was not amused, and poised itself as to attack the next human who intervened.
Meanwhile, the cat was shitting behind the television.