Thursday, April 30, 2009

At the Mercy of the New Hampshire Governor

I hate moments like this. Now that the New Hampshire Senate has narrowly passed a same-sex marriage bill on a 13-11 vote, the fate of our equality in the Live Free Or Die state rests with Governor Jim Lynch, an opponent of same-sex marriage.

It blows my mind that we have politicians in a 21st century America who are outspoken opponents of this very basic human right: to marry the one we love. At some point in time, we the people, and the politicians whom we have elected, will look back on this era and shudder at the collective ignorance, the biases, and in many cases, the hatred of people who don't fit the (thankfully, shrinking) majority definition of normal.

So while I am thrilled with the New Hampshire House and Senate votes, I am less than ecstatic with the narrow margin in the Senate, and I am appalled at the attitude of Governor Lynch.

Even if he decides to sign the bill into law, or allows it to become law without his signature, all is still not well in the Granite State. While I applaud the Senate for passage of a medical marijuana bill, I must hang my head in shame for their attitudes towards transgender people who are not deemed worthy of protection from discrimination.
Same-sex marriage was among several contentious bills that the Senate took up Wednesday, all passed by the House in recent weeks. One, a measure to allow people with certain illnesses to possess marijuana for medical purposes, passed in a vote of 14 to 10. But the Senate voted unanimously against a bill that would guarantee transgender people protection from discrimination in housing and employment. It also put off action on a bill to repeal the death penalty.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Iowa: Alive and Well

After a day in which same-sex marriage was legal in Iowa, the sky didn't fall. The foundations of society didn't collapse.
The large, angry protests some had imagined never materialized in this city, the state’s most populous. Neither did the crowds of couples from all over the nation that some feared might create a carnival-like atmosphere captured in earlier images from other places.

By noon, no protesters could be found outside the marriage license office. Extra sheriff’s deputies assigned to keep order milled around the Polk County recorder’s office, looking bored. And an early-morning line of dozens of same-sex couples waiting to apply for licenses had dwindled into a few people discussing recent rainfall patterns.


By the end of Monday, more than 200 couples had applied and paid $35 for marriage licenses in Iowa.

The Des Moines Register is reporting same-sex marriage applications on Monday to be in excess of 380.


Chris Patterson, 36, and Jennifer Harvery, 37, both of Des Moines, applied for a marriage license Monday morning. With them is daughter Harper Patterson, 6 months.

Iowa is bracing for a possible swine flu outbreak; however there are no indications this is a result of the same-sex marriage licenses issued on Monday.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Stupid Bugs

We have these bugs here in central Texas. I call them stupid bugs. They sorta remind me of our Republican Party.

They fly around on the patio at night under the porch light, skimming the patio on their backs with their wings flapping, and they fly into doors and windows falling to the patio in a stupor.

Sometimes I even want to step on them. But I try not to because they are so stupid.

If they behave this way under a porch light, WHAT THE FUCK DO THEY DO WHEN THE SUN IS SHINING????

Living Without The New York Times

Last weekend I called the New York Times to cancel my subscription. This was the same weekend in which I unfriended about 30 people from my Facebook page. I must have been going through a purge phase of some sort.

The woman on the phone informed me that I had been a Times subscriber for over 10 years and was curious about why I wanted to cancel. I informed her it was a financial issue. She offered to drop the rate by 50% for the next year and after mulling this over for a few seconds, I decided to take the offer. I wasn't 100% satisfied with my response because I had psyched myself up for this cancellation and then I felt weak and easily controlled.

As it turned out, that was the last day I would hold a print-edition of the Times in my hands. A paper hasn't been delivered since that day so apparently something happened and my 52-week trial rate never got implemented.

I am still adjusting to the new morning routine. Sometimes my bleary eyes just aren't quite ready for the glare of a monitor right off the bat. I sip my coffee at my desk instead of the kitchen table. I prowl the internet for news instead of turning pages. And I probably don't catch everything of interest to me. Sometimes it was a challenge to find an article on the Times' website which I'd read in the print edition so I do wonder what I might have missed.

What I don't miss is walking out to get the paper, especially if it's raining. I also don't miss bagging up all those papers for recycling and carrying those out to the street. And I will certainly not miss seeing that $52 monthly charge on my credit card.

Welcome to the digital era. Newspapers are dying. Trees are relieved at that news.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Living With Cats

Allergies aside, I have a hard time understanding why some people would never consider owning a cat, or having them in the house.

That just crossed my mind this morning when I decided to change my bed sheets and this hairball fell to the floor.

Gee, it's pretty dried up. I wonder how long I've been sleeping with that thing?

Friday, April 24, 2009

Friday Pussy Blog: Birthday Edition

Witchay Woman sent me a photo of Gidget stalking an unseen green anole. Something I have to always be watching out for here at kona ranch.

Something from the archives of a few years back... Samantha exercising some control over Sissy.
God, that floor was hideous!

And Tater Tot being absolutely PERFECT for my birthday. He didn't vomit all day!
And he was exercising some control over txrad's foot.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

How I Spent My 49th Birthday

A number of people have asked for more details on my desire to spend almost my entire birthday in a federal court room.

For the past four years or so, we have had a neighbor behind us, but one lot over, who has been an extreme nuisance. I knew there was a woman living there when we moved here 11 years ago but a guy showed up on the scene about 4-5 years ago and was living there. That was the start of a downward spiral which, we are hoping, ended yesterday for good.

After he moved in, their property appearance began to deteriorate. Because I can't really see their property except for a garage door from my back patio, I really didn't know what was going on until I walked around the block a few years ago. It was as if their house was a giant magnet for any metal objects drifting through the city: old cars, old bicycles, scrap metal, etc. It was really more than the eye could behold in a quick glance.

I was never brave enough to walk over there and take decent pictures from the street, but I did find a poor quality "street scene" using maps from a well-known technology behemoth, and I managed to improve the picture quality slightly to give you a very rough idea. Trust me when I say it's far worse if you could have seen it live, and these photos could be 3 years old.

Notice the car hauler. Very convenient for bringing in more non-functional vehicles to the front yard! Assuming that wasn't also a non-functioning piece of junk itself!

It was always a work in progress. The guy built a treehouse in the front yard and tried to create various sculptures around the mail box. It is no exaggeration whatsoever to describe it as a junkyard.

Then the music began to creep in. As most of you know, I have no issues with music. Hell, I live for it! Always have. But when it comes to another person's choices in music being played outside at a loud volume for hours at a time, that tends to take a toll on my patience.

It started with a radio and a few CDs while he was working in the yard -- i.e. rearranging junk or adding to the junk. On rare occasions I'd hear country music; most of the time it was rock or rap, and Eminem comes to mind.

Then JF (I'm using his initials instead of referring to him as the "guy") acquired a set of drums and it was obvious he'd never had a lesson a day in his life. Instead of practicing IN the house as most normal people would do, he set this up outside and/or in the garage depending on the weather. As if that wasn't irritating enough, the amplifier came along so that more of the neighborhood could hear his free concerts. Little did I know at the time, this was likely his very thought!

By this time I was rather certain he had to be doing drugs. First, he didn't appear to have any visible means of support as in employment. He was home most of the time, and when he was home he was playing. Soon, a friend or two started showing up and there were other instruments in the mix. The "band" was in development! And the noise was hideous. While junk was being sucked in, talent seemed to be on the run.

No hour of the day or night was off-limits. The drums could be heard in pre-dawn darkness and it might extend off and on throughout the day and into the evening. There was also a perceptible ebb and flow of energy and enthusiasm and I was finally able to pinpoint when the methamphetamine was kicking in. I didn't have visible proof of drug use, but after years of hearing a neighbor it's not hard to arrive at that conclusion.

We had lived here over 10 years without having any contact with any of our neighbors. And I'm fine with that. I live a private life and this being Texas, I never felt compelled to go around the neighborhood saying "Hi, we're you're Queer neighbors." That was particularly true in the first few years when it was technically illegal in this state for my partner and I to make love.

Then last August something very odd happened. I was sitting here at my desk, probably doing what I'm doing right now, when txrad came in to announce with some excitement, "Come here! There are goats on our patio!"

He was not hallucinating. We finally met our next-door neighbors when they came over to retrieve the goats and needless to say, the conversation turned to JF who lived directly behind these neighbors. All of my suspicions were confirmed and a whole lot more.

We learned that JF had married the woman who lived rather quietly in the house before he came on the scene, and that he was considerably younger than her. This is particularly funny because I really hadn't seen JF up close and when I would walk or drive by his house I avoided eye contact if he happened to be in the yard. Because of his behavior, I was under the assumption he was in his early 20s. It wasn't until yesterday that I learned he was 49 years old.

It was also confirmed by our neighbor that he was a psychopath, a criminal, and a drug user. He was also an informant for the sheriff's department in our fair and liberal oasis in central Texas, which is why they wouldn't lay a finger on him. In fact, they had done all they could to clear his criminal records.

Between August and the end of 2008, armed with much more information on JF and his history, I began paying closer attention to his activities which were getting increasingly distressing to me, not that the prior four years hadn't taken a toll on my psyche. To this day when I hear any kind of noise outside while sitting at my desk, I find it jarring. Even as I'm typing this, I hear an occasional thump-thump-thump from street construction going on nearby, and it gives me the heebie-jeebies. My mind always leaps to the conclusion that JF is baaack.

Deep in my heart I had -- dare I use this word as an atheist -- prayed (in some sense) that he and his wife would lose the house. It was inconceivable to me they would move out voluntarily, and I could not understand how they had the money to even pay the annual property taxes. In fact, for most of these years I wasn't even aware there was a wife over there. I just assumed it was JF having one long continuous drug-fueled party.

Around the time of the presidential election we found a letter in our mailbox which was addressed to our goat-owning neighbors. I walked it over there and had another very long chat with the neighbor concerning politics, Obama, and yes, JF. There were more developments. JF had been picked up on a weapons charge and if convicted, would serve time in a federal prison.

I asked about the goats, as I hadn't heard them in awhile, and I was told some heartbreaking news. Thanks to a hole in the fence separating JF's yard from the goats, JF's pit bulls came through and killed the goats. I was sickened.

Shortly thereafter, my prayers/dreams, whatever you want to call it, came true. The wife, having gotten several loans against her house to pay JF's legal fees and suddenly was facing a foreclosure. By January the house was vacant, the yard had been cleaned up, and I wrongly assumed I'd never have to be within earshot of JF again. Alas, this is the problem with assumptions.

On April 15, after more than four months of neighborly silence, I received a private Facebook message from our neighbor next door concerning JF. She started by saying "I have some disturbing news regarding JF."

My heart was already thumping. She explained that due to his lack of "official" criminal activity recently, thanks largely to our efficient sheriff's department, JF would probably not face more than 30-37 months on the federal weapons charge -- a considerably lighter sentence than he would otherwise receive.

She went on to say that JF's wife had moved back into our neighborhood and was renting a house one block over from us. Alarm bells were now going off in my head.

The sentencing hearing was schedule for April 22 at 9:00 AM. Great! My birthday. And she asked me if txrad and I would please go to the hearing with them. She had previously told me about the experience when she and her partner testified at the trial and it was not fun. But I mulled this over and decided I'd go. It was an agonizing and stressful week but by Tuesday evening I was actually rather excited, although at least 75% of my excitement was due to the fact that all this would soon be over!

At 8:06 AM, txrad and I were in the car heading to the downtown court house for the 9 AM sentencing hearing. We arrived shortly before 9 and met up with our neighbors. Many of our neighbors were unwilling to attend out of fear. One couple from our neighborhood was at the court house yesterday morning but were unable to stay throughout the afternoon until the actual sentencing took place. Thankfully, a number of them who did not attend were willing to write a letter to the judge explaining their experiences.

After sitting through two hours of a sentencing involving a young woman from Mexico with a heroin conviction, we learned there were about 6 or 7 more cases ahead of us before we'd get to the JF sentencing. The agony would be prolonged.

txrad and I came home, had lunch, and I did a bit of office work before we headed back downtown just before 2 PM. It was well after 3 PM when the JF sentencing hearing began. And oh my, it was worth the wait!

JF and his lawyer spoke first to the judge and although I had been given a preview of what they were going to say in his defense, to hear it coming from JF and his attorney just made my blood start to boil.

JF was made out to be an asset to the community, a guy who has aided law enforcement "for free" for years, and helped rid our streets of drugs and bad guys. When the issue of the junkyard came up, his claim was that he filled his yard with old bicycles, go-karts, and other trash to attract teenagers and thus be in a position to help them with their lives because, as he put it, he really cares about the kids. (This would be a recurring theme in his own personal statements to the judge.)

At this point I was mentally arranging letters of the alphabet in my head: B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.

One of my neighbors had already asked me if I was going to make a statement to the judge and I told her I didn't think I would. Suddenly I was having a change of heart.

Then JF's wife went to make her statement. This is where things really bordered on the surreal. As tears welled up in her eyes, she explained to the judge how ridiculous these charges were, reiterating what an asset he was to the community and then turning to point at us nasty neighbors, adding that she could not understand why these neighbors are trying to tear him down. I am paraphrasing because I was not taking notes, but this is a very close approximation of what she said.

And then she went on with her tirade and said he was such an asset that he had managed to rid a nearby street of Satan worshippers, then she had to stop due to excessive crying. It was at precisely this point where I had a revelation. JF, who had already struck me as being very Charles Manson-esque, had such a grip on this woman that she had become as deranged and delusional as he was. I could not help but wonder if the judge was thinking the same.

Next up to speak before the judge were our two neighbors who brought up a variety of excellent points involving the amount of filth and trash in the yard, the number of dumpsters required to haul it off and the resulting rodent problems. And the issue of the pygmy goats.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I approached the judge. My thoughts had blurred into a nebulous train wreck and I was so nervous I wasn't sure if I could squeeze a word out of my mouth. I could feel the eyes of JF and his wife burning into my back as I told the judge my name. I explained that I had worked from my home for 4 of the past 5 years and therefore had spent a lot of time observing and hearing all the activity from JF's property. I mentioned the "music" and that no hours were safe from the onslaught, and that on occasion it was so loud it would rattle my windows and reverberate through my house. Between the music and other "disturbances" it was driving me crazy.

I very truthfully informed the judge that there were many times when I was so frustrated I simply wanted to put my house on the market and move, but that any open house put on by the realtor would have come with an unwanted band. I concluded by saying if JF ever returns to our neighborhood, I feel I would have no choice but to move away. I said "thank you" and returned to my uncomfortable wooden court room bench, catching the swollen red eyes of JF's wife in the process.

JF and lawyer again approached the judge for their rebuttal. Now that I had mentioned the music issue JF felt compelled to explain that it was his intention to create a Christian rock band -- again, to help set all the corrupted teenagers who might pass by on a path to righteousness. Good grief, I was so embarrassed. Of course that was their intention. It was at that point I remembered JF and his bandmates screaming the word "faggot" into a microphone. Pardon my error.

The judge was now ready to render a good and fair ass-whuppin' sentence to our fine upstanding asset to the community. He took his sweet time about it, bringing up a multitude of prior convictions....driving with license suspended, violation of a protective order, theft, evading arrest, escaping from custody, driving with license suspended, unauthorized use of a vehicle, criminal trespass, assault/family violence, driving with license suspended, theft, driving with license suspended, (see any kind of trends here?) trespass of a habitation, possession of meth with intent to distribute. But hey, he was doing it for the sake of "the kids."

JF, turns out, has been in jail about 50 times, but NEVER, as strange as it seems given his history, been sentenced and sent to a federal facility until yesterday.

The judge, in an amazing understatement, said to JF, "You obviously have a disrespect for the law." And if I recall correctly he added something along the lines of, "...and a sense you are above the law."

After giving JF a verbal reaming, in a polite judge sorta way, he then proceeded to sentence JF, not to the "advisory sentencing guideline" for criminal possession of a firearm in the 33-37 month range, but to 60 months! Five years in a house he will not be allowed to trash.

As the prosecutor told me, it's rare for a judge to deviate upward from the established sentencing guidelines, and without a doubt she feels our presence and desire to speak out as neighbors helped cement the deal which puts this man out of our midst for five years, and on probation for three more, during which time he cannot touch drugs or alcohol without being returned to prison.

But remember, he's "tender-hearted," per his wife's testimony. My favorite mug shot is the 3rd row down, 5th photo over. No doubt he had just wrapped up a Jesus Loves You seminar with some area youngsters before being apprehended.

If you think this is frightening, be thankful you didn't have to hear him speak in his defense. At least he's gone; I feel safer in that regard. I find it disturbing that his wife, who clearly drinks from the same well of contaminants, is a block over from us. We'll all have to watch our backs.

All that aside, this was the best and most uniquely memorable birthday I have ever experienced. My neighbors and I were a part of justice being served.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My Brain Hurts a Lot

This is not the first time I have done a "5 Years" post but it takes on special significance today. So, let's enjoy. David Bowie. Yeah! Best birthday EVER!

What a Birthday!

txrad and I were in the car at 8:06 heading downtown on my birthday for a federal sentencing hearing involving an ex-neighbor. After spending two hours in the court room hearing an unexpectedly lengthy heroin case involving a young woman from Mexico, we were told the case in which we have an interest will not come before the judge until probably mid-afternoon. We came home to regenerate and have some lunch before heading back downtown.

Having witnessed what I have seen this morning involving this woman and her heroin conviction, I can safely say our country is terribly fucked up when it comes to drugs, drug laws, the penalties, and ESPECIALLY the costs associated with these convictions.

This is one person, one case, in one medium-sized American city, in one day. I cannot imagine what the lawyers and investigators must have made in the 2-3 years of investigations, wire-tapping, etc., related to this case. Multiply this by tens of thousands and it becomes an incomprehensibly astounding waste.

I can think of better ways to spend a birthday, but very few which could be so eye-opening, educational, and informative.

We definitely need to overhaul some things in this country. That's for damn sure.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Some Recent North Dakota History

Janne Myrdal, State Director of Confused Concerned Women for America of North Dakota, mounted an intense and successful effort in the ND state legislature last month against a bill which would have prohibited discrimination based on sexual orientation.

Check out this piece of rubbish.
At the core of this agenda is an effort to remove from our society all traditional notions of sexual morality and replace them with a post-modern concept of sexual relativism. That is to say, when it comes to sex, there is no right or wrong, all sexual preferences are “equal.” This then establishes a society, by law, wherein natural distinctions between male and female are dissolved.

Yes, that is correct, there is no right or wrong. There is only normal for each of us. And they are NOT, repeat: NOT, sexual PREFERENCES anymore than YOURS are. It is an orientation, and driven pretty hard by forces of nature I might add.

Yesterday I wrote an email to North Dakota State Representative David Drovdal, Republican, who represents district 39 in North Dakota where my spouse is from. Representative Drovdal, writing in a piece for the McKenzie County Farmer, spewed rubbish in his April 8th column, "District 39 Legislative Report."
Opponents of [SB2278] are concerned mainly about men being able to use women's bathrooms because they consider themselves gay.

Here's what I wrote the Rep. Drovdal...and I would like to apologize ahead of time to my transgendered friends who might take issue with my scantily-clad gloss-over as to the origins of gender identity issues. I'll confess I was distraught and in a hurry.

Representative Drovdal,

My partner, Sheldon Linseth, a native of McKenzie County, and I, just read your column in the April 8 issue of the McKenzie County Farmer and would like to point out a few facts regarding sexual orientation which might have been useful to other members of the state legislature as opposed to the packet of misinformation presented by the Confused Concerned Women of America.

Gay people have no interest in using public restrooms designated for the opposite sex. I’m a 49-year-old gay male and I’m quite content to use only men’s facilities. I have, however, known and seen a number of heterosexual woman using a men’s restroom for the sake of expediency in a crowded bar or club for instance.

Transgendered people (referred to as “gender confused” if I recall, by the CWA “fact sheet,” would prefer to use restrooms designated for the gender with which they identify. And this is not confusion. I know a number of transgendered individuals and they have no confusion about their gender whatsoever. The presence of a vagina or penis does not solely dictate ones gender or gender identity. There are hormonal issues which have been present since birth or earlier which contribute to this identity. It is nothing to be mocked or ridiculed. However, a bit of understanding as opposed to a knee-jerk opposition would go a long way. It’s a shame more lawmakers won’t take the time to understand an issue.

Opponents such as CWA love to drag out the sexual preference vs. sexual orientation argument and falsely claim that all gay people can be “corrected” and that being gay is not normal. On the contrary, it is normal or there wouldn’t be so many of us. I did not choose to be gay anymore than you chose to be straight. The idea of having a “normal” sexual relationship with a woman provokes the same reaction from me that a straight man might feel at the thought of having sex with another man. What’s natural for me isn’t natural for someone else and vice-versa. The point is, the definition of “natural” cannot be claimed by one side or the other. And it’s a shame the ones who try to legislate morality always use THEIR definition.

There are undoubtedly many bisexuals and I suspect those who stand as examples of such “correction” might merely have narrowed their bisexual playing field.

I wanted to take this time to give you some brief insight into these complex issues and hope that you and others in the future might be armed with more relevant and truthful data than what might be presented to you by opposition groups such as CWA.

By the way, Sheldon and I have been in a relationship for almost 19 years, completely unrecognized by the state in which we reside or by the US Government. That must, and will eventually, be corrected.

I have yet to hear back from The Republican Dude. You can also contact him at this email address:

Address: 2802 131st Avenue NW, Arnegard, ND 58835-9127
Telephone: 701-586-3761

Play nice, but set him straight (no pun intended) about what's right and what must happen, not only in North Dakota, but the nation.

Monday, April 20, 2009

4/20: That's Entertainment

Prepare to celebrate the high holiday.
April 20 has long been an unofficial day of celebration for marijuana fans, an occasion for campus smoke-outs, concerts and cannabis festivals. But some advocates of legal marijuana say this year’s “high holiday” carries extra significance as they sense increasing momentum toward acceptance of the drug, either as medicine or entertainment.

“It is the biggest moment yet,” said Ethan Nadelmann, the founder and executive director of the Drug Policy Alliance in Washington, who cited several national polls showing growing support for legalization. “There’s a sense that the notion of legalizing marijuana is starting to cross the fringes into mainstream debate.”

Say what you will about pot enthusiasts but at least we have a sense of humor:
Beneficiaries of the moment include Norml, the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, which advocates legalization, and other groups like it. Norml says that its Web traffic and donations (sometimes in $4.20 increments) have surged, and that it will begin a television advertising campaign on Monday, which concludes with a plea, and an homage, to President Obama.

“Legalization,” the advertisement says, “yes we can!”

That seems unlikely anytime soon. In a visit last week to Mexico, where drug violence has claimed thousands of lives and threatened to spill across the border, Mr. Obama said the United States must work to curb demand for drugs.

Oh, come on, Obama! This "war" has been going on far longer than the other mis-guided wars and it clearly cannot be won...ever! Did we learn nothing from prohibition? The time has come to let it go. And that's probably the only solution to the problems which plague Mexico.

It is the ultimate in hypocrisy to have legalized alcohol, and from a public health perspective, legalized cigarettes, to give fines for public intoxication while sending marijuana users to prison! The time is now for a sensible and logical marijuana policy.

The real party starts at 4:20 this afternoon, naturally.
In San Francisco, meanwhile, where a city supervisor, Ross Mirkarimi, suggested last week that the city should consider getting into the medical marijuana business as a provider, big crowds are expected to turn out at places like Hippie Hill, a drum-happy glade in Golden Gate Park.

A cloud of pungent smoke is also expected to be thick at concerts like one planned at the Fillmore rock club, where the outspoken pro-marijuana hip-hop group Cypress Hill is expected to take the stage at 4:20 p.m.

“You can see twice the amount of smoke as you do at a regular show,” said B-Real, a rapper in the group. “And it’s a great fragrance.”

One toke over the line, sweet Jesus.

Friday, April 17, 2009


This is advertising desperation which I captured on photobucket tonight.

I'd squeal like a 13-year-old girl also but only if he'd ditch these sappy movies and do some decent upstanding porn.

This is so fucking stupid. Who comes up with this shit? And why does that asshole voice-over guy keep doing this asinine bullshit?

God, no fucking wonder I haven't set foot in a movie theater in like 10 years.

Not Really

I fucking HATE spam!

free image host

Vendredi Blog de Minou: Smelly Shoe Edition

It's a good thing I have two pairs of Birkenstocks because the Tot sure does like to "wear" mine. This pair must smell particularly nice -- they date back to the early 1990s.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Best In Show

Forget expensive tickets to concerts and sporting events. The best entertainment is free.

Several hundred people showed up in Lafayette Park opposite the White House, until the park and parts of Pennsylvania Avenue were cleared while a robot retrieved what the Secret Service confirmed was a box of tea bags.


In Austin, Tex., Gov. Rick Perry energized a crowd of about 1,000 by accusing the Obama administration of restricting states’ rights and vaguely suggesting that Texas might want to secede from the union.

Governor Goodhair might want to take a step back and reflect on this insanity before proceeding. Despite the appearance of Texas being extremely conservative, there are actually quite a lot of people here who would classify themselves otherwise. And once the exodus of the smart ones begins, this state might be left with nothing but a cesspool of ignorance and bigotry.

What a platform for staging his re-election bid! But carry on, sir. I would love nothing more than to see your campaign bite the big tea bag.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Win Farrell Is About to Mess With Fucking Texas

Speaking of Instant Karma

The ranks of the unemployed just increased by two after this absurdly stupid stunt in which a couple of employees at a Dominoe's shot this video and uploaded it to YouTube.

I just wonder how stupid people can be. Did they not have a clue that retribution would be swift? The woman shooting the video probably didn't realize just what an understatement she was uttering when she said this:

"I think our boss lady may be coming out here soon."

They have been fired today. And thanks for giving gay people another bad rap, assholes.

It Wasn't Me!

I don't even own a can of spray paint!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Faith Based Comedy

We have a subscription to the McKenzie County Farmer, txrad's hometown newspaper. Normally, I get my jollies looking at the photos of the high school boys' wrasslin' matches or the help wanted ads at the Kum & Go.

Today I had a genuine series of laughs at these grammatical errors and typos found in church bulletins which were featured in the April 8 edition of the paper. I'll pick just a few of my favorites to share:

This one actually stumped me until I read it twice:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

This one sounds like it was plucked directly from a George Carlin routine:

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

And one of my favorites:

Don't let worry kill you off -- let the church help.

And here's a potluck I wouldn't mind attending:

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.

Wow, that sounds spiritual! And to be followed up with a possible orgy:

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn-singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The fun and games don't stop there! No sir, it gets even more kinky:

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

And all you fatties need not feel left out:

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.

Sorry, I'm a back door man!

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back entrance.

What is it with Christians and 7 PM?? Here's yet another:

The eight graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Bonus round:

Somewhere there's music....

At the evening serivce tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.


And speaking of George Carlin and hostilities... listen to this!

Food Presentation Is Important

I walked into my home office this morning and saw txrad reading a food blog, in this case a Vegan Called Bacon, and the photo caught my eye. It's vegetarian sausage. txrad makes veggie sausage but I've never seen him arrange his for presentation in this manner.

Honestly, could I get excited about eating something which appears to be a Great Dane dump?

Friday, April 10, 2009

Friday Pussy Blog

Wow, having the day off makes it seem like a Saturday, not a Friday. I almost forgot to do cat blogging.

Earlier this week, txrad got a few shots of Tot up on the new table. Almost all of them were blurry.

I swear, what's not to love about the adorable Tot!

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

A Floral Surprise

There was a loud knock at the door earlier today. I couldn't imagine who might be delivering anything because everything I've ordered has already been delivered.

Although my birthday isn't until two weeks from today, these arrived from my employer. Nice. Love the vase as well. This looks great on the new table and makes me think "springtime!"

Never Mind Vermont; What About Iraq?

My enjoyment at seeing the front page news regarding gay marriage in Vermont was immediately shattered by this article concerning abuses against gay men and lesbians in Iraq.
In the past two months, the bodies of as many as 25 boys and men suspected of being gay have turned up in the huge Shiite enclave of Sadr City, the police and friends of the dead say. Most have been shot, some multiple times. Several have been found with the word “pervert” in Arabic on notes attached to their bodies, the police said.

In reality, there are many in this country who would do, and have done, the same. That level of hatred is simultaneously sickening and horrifying.
“Homosexuality is against the law,” said Lt. Muthana Shaad, at a police station in the Karada district, a neighborhood that has become popular with gay men. “And it’s disgusting.”

More disgusting than wholesale slaughter based on pure hate?
In 2005, the country’s most influential Shiite cleric, Grand Ayatollah Ali al-Sistani, issued a religious decree that said gay men and lesbians should be “punished, in fact, killed.” He added, “The people should be killed in the worst, most severe way of killing.” The language has since been removed from his Web site.


...clerics associated with Moktada al-Sadr, an anti-American cleric with significant influence in Sadr City, have devoted a portion of Friday Prayer services to inveighing against homosexuality.

“The community should be purified from such delinquent behavior like stealing, lying and the effeminacy phenomenon among men,” Sheik Jassem al-Mutairi said during his sermon last Friday. Homosexuality, he said, was “far from manhood and honesty.”

Ah... so their issue with homosexuals boils down to a hatred of anything feminine.

Nice. Wow, do we have a long way to go or what?

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

How to Slaughter a Hog (No, this is not about Glenn Beck)


You jump in the pig pen.

Then you circle the victim.

Pull out the ah, 20cc rifle

You shoot it in the middle of the forehead.

Grab the tractor and drag me out of the muck.

Go to craig's list.

I tried this as a haiku but I swear to God it DID NOT WORK.

Vermont Governor Douglas Gets Slammed Down on Gay Marriage

The House voted 100 to 49 to override the veto of Republican Gov. Jim Douglas on same-sex marriage in Vermont.

Earlier today, the Senate did the same.

Isn't it refreshing to see a bigot get his ass handed to him on a platter in short order?

Same-sex marriage equality now exists in Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa and Vermont. Keep that train a rollin'.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Sunday Afternoon Adventures in Moving

Our friends Jackie & Stephen are getting ready to move to Santa Fe and we lucked out on their dining table and chairs. This required access to a large vehicle so I rented a U-Haul van which turned out to be not nearly as stressful as driving one of their larger moving trucks. Don't be too fooled by the $19.95 rate on the van; it ended up being $52 plus $9 for fuel. A rate of 59-cents per mile adds up pretty quick on top of the $19.95 rate.

I'm not sure what I'll do with this old table which we bought in Los Angeles, probably in 1996 when we bought our first house. When I invest in a sander, I might sand this down and refinish it, just for the practice.

While this new table takes up more space, it's still fine in the kitchen, and of course we could move it into the adjacent den if we were ever to have a real dinner party with six people.

It really looks great on the new travertine floors. While you wouldn't know if from the picture or how the table looks, that is one heavy table! Four of us loaded it into the van, and two of us managed to get it out and into the kitchen. I swear I think it weighs in excess of 200 lbs.

We got it in with no dings or scrapes. There is one minor scratch which is clearly visible in this photo but that can be easily doctored up.

We're happy! Jackie actually finished the top of the table and painted the base black. It looks stunning.

Friday, April 03, 2009

The Virtual Outhouse Is Open!

Pink: Way Better Than Red

Friday Pussy Blog: Filthy Pussy Edition

Sweet Pea likes to sleep in a pot full of dirt and occasionally likes to roll around in dirt. I don't know how he manages to get himself clean again but he does.

A few nights ago I got this clip of Tater Tot cleaning his belly. He was using his "hand" to pull his big man-titties up so his tongue could reach them. It was hilarious. I wish I'd had more light in the room as I shot this.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Another Bullshit Facebook Ad

HA! Yeah, right. Order in the next 10 minutes and we'll include a FREE DVD on how to train your cat to clean up his or her own vomit.