Blow This

Now I know what this obnoxious trash is called: Airblowns.

I first noticed one popping up in front of a nearby house last year around Halloween. It was round and clear with an internal fan to blow around fake snow in an effort to mimic one of those snow globes. It stayed inflated for about a day before collapsing into an unattractive pile of plastic. I wondered why anyone would spend hard-earned money on something so... worthless.

This year they are in abundance. Especially in a new upscale housing development just up the hill from us. Lawns along one street are littered with plastic reindeer, elves, and some new decorations that are made to look like some kind of crystal formations in familiar holiday-related shapes, and of course... more tacky Airblowns. In that neighborhood alone, I suspect thousands of dollars have been spent on this rubbish -- enough to feed quite a few homeless and needy people. Alas, it shall all eventually wind up in the landfill.

And while I haven't gone out to inspect any of this stuff in stores, I'll wager my last dime all this crap is made in China. Oh well, it's none of my business. I just wish I didn't have to see it every time I leave the house.

Such is the phantasmagoric, Disney-esque experience of the new Christmas custom sweeping the suburbs.
Whatever else Christmas in America means — the birth of Jesus, holly wreaths, the Chipmunks, cultural tension — it now also includes these gargantuan, inflatable outdoor decorations, called “Airblowns” by their chief manufacturer.

[...]

Not quite a culture war. Call it an intramural disagreement among the Christmas crazed.

“Appalling,” Catherine Bruckner, a traditionalist who decorates only in holly and evergreen, sneered as she stopped her car in front of an inflated Santa playing poker with two shrewd-eyed reindeer in a menagerie totaling two dozen figures. “It’s bad enough to see those things on Halloween. At Christmas, they rise to a level of tackiness that is horrible.”

Most of this garbage sells for $69 to $300 and is marketed by a company here in Texas (but of course! Make it extra big and ugly, please!) which also came up with some other brilliant ideas -- remember "Big Mouth Billy Bass?"