A Vacation From Employment

This Friday will mark four weeks since I was laid off. When I learned in late November that I was being laid off on December 21, I was ready to get on with it. I had endured four months of stress and was ready for some much-needed time off.

My plan was pretty simple. Because I'd suspected the worst starting in August, I was able to save a decent nest-egg which actually could sustain me for up to 6 months. My goal was to sit back, relax, do some household duties, finish up a few projects, and wrap up some unfinished personal business. The bulk of that I expected to get done in the first two weeks and then I wanted to take a trip to Arkansas for a few days to visit my mother. That was on my agenda before January 10th and I was going to relax for the remainder of the month before looking for employment in early February.

Wow. And wrong.

I don't know what it is about unemployment but the days and weeks are flying by and only this week have I made any significant progress in one of my projects -- cleaning up the unfinished business related to my old company, catching up on some accounting needs and getting the financials all squared away before going to an attorney to deal with uncollected debt from clients and a heavy debt burden I carry on a personal level related to that business.

As far as the relaxation and "vacation" aspect of my plans, I can safely say that hasn't begun yet. The holidays really disrupted my plans to some degree and I am certain the shock of being unemployed really hit me and kept me in a daze for two weeks. I haven't even taken the box of personal belongings from work out of the car yet. On a subconscious level perhaps I was hoping I'd get called back to work fairly quickly. Now, a month down the road, that seems less likely.

There has also been a significant amount of stress, depression, anxiety and uncertainty coupled with a lack of focus and direction during this time. It doesn't sound like I've had much fun, does it?

The annual pilgrimage back to Arkansas always creates a peculiar level of stress and anxiety on its own, aside from the other current factors contributing to a feeling of incapacitation. It's an 8-hour drive for one thing.

I think I'll leave on Sunday the 20th for the trip and make a sincere effort to leave my troubles behind for those few days. And when I return, I'll have that major contributor of stress behind me and I can get myself firmly grounded and focused again. And there will only be a week of January remaining.

It's starting to appear that I may need February off as well. Meanwhile, anything I can accomplish this week in my project list will be a bonus. The dark cloud of anxiety will gradually ease away with each completed chore and sunny days are ahead.