Friday, November 23, 2007

The If I Wasn't Me Meme

Either Toast is rubbing off on me with his meme creativity or else I'm already bored with the holidays (and it's only Friday). Not sure if this one has been done--it probably has--but I just was thinking of it so here we go.

Many of you know I work in advertising and have for almost 18 years. I do love it but the ups and downs get tiresome and I'm a little too old for the unstable aspects of it.

What 5 things would you rather be doing in life if you weren't doing what you do now? (Which in my case, I may not be doing what I do now much longer.)

I'd love to be a tropical jungle boy, running around in nothing but a loin cloth year-round, hunting and gathering nuts and berries and growing whatever else I need to survive. But only if there are no big snakes around.

An architect. Aside from having a genuine fascination with architectural standouts, there must be an intense satisfaction with creating a functioning work of art in which people live, work, eat, shop, etc. And if you do your job really well, your creations could outlive you by centuries. Except in Las Vegas. Architecture is an art form although most of what we see around us is shlock art. Still, a schlock artist can probably always find work in that field, and the pay is probably a lot better than other artists who struggle to survive -- even while producing far superior work. Doesn't seem fair, does it?

A landscape designer. Again, this falls into the art category if you do it right. And by doing it right you have to make it look like natural, like everything just happened to appear where nature intended. I think this job is far more difficult than people realize. You need to be in tune with nature, with plants, with soil and weather conditions. There's far more to it and that just grouping things in threes and fives, patting yourself on the back and saying, "Gee, ain't that purty."

A musician. I had talent when I was young. I started on piano and I definitely could have gone somewhere with it. But all the pieces just didn't fall into place. I was lacking motivation, probably because I think my teacher was an alcoholic who couldn't seem to explain things in a way I could understand, and I didn't know enough to ask the questions. So it was never meant to be. I'd have to settle later in life for being great with Microsoft Excel. Which brings me to....

A software engineer. Nothing frustrates me more than learning or using software and realizing the limitations of it, or constantly being aggravated by how difficult it is to perform a rather routine function. I'm usually pretty quick when it comes to learning to use most software -- especially if it's something I have an interest in using. I'll dig in and figure things out. But some of them just thwart the hell of out me. Corel Paint Shot Pro X is one such program. It should be more user-friendly than it is. But I know it's very complex so I'll just have to get in there and learn by using. That's really the best way with anything. Oh, and there's money in it for the visionaries.

Tagged: our Lady of teh Quilts, Jennifer, the tartiest tarty Tart, Pidomon, because there's got to be a brain in his head somewhere and I aim to find it, Melissa, the self-proclaimed Queen Cunt of Fuck Mountain, and Mustang Bobby, because he's the first one commenting in the Virtual Pub tonight and therefore must have a lot of time on his hands.

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