Sunday, March 23, 2008

Kelly's Vanity Fair Meme

Via Kelly, of course.

Kelly wrote:
One of my favorite things about my favorite magazine, The Proust Questionnaire. I do this month's here:

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Having a secluded house on 5 acres in the heart of Manhattan. Since that is unreasonable, I'd settle for a comfy house with plenty of room to garden, and a nice view, a job allowing me to work from home, and never having to hear my neighbors blasting Eminem, Ted Nugent or practicing drums. Oh, and no mortgage. That, my friends, is all I seek for perfect happiness. It is attainable and I am working on it.

2. What is your greatest fear?
That I will never achieve perfect happiness. I also don't particularly care for the idea of being stuck in a dark and crowded elevator during a power outage.

3. What is your most marked characteristic?
I guess it would be my unruly hair.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?

I guess it would be my unruly hair. And procrastination.

5. Which living person do you most despise?
George W. Bush.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?
On a routine basis, it would be my expenses for beer, wine and spirits. However, as far as single items go, it's hard to top the $8,000 I spent on a TV when I had budgeted about $1500. It's paid for though. That matters most.

7. What is your current state of mind?
A chaotic depressed incapacitated crazed frenzy.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
I wasn't sure what virtues are so I found a list. I vote for Majesty as being pretty worthless.

9. On what occasion do you lie?

Usually if I'm too embarrassed to tell the whole truth, or if I think there's a chance it might help me avoid a fine or delinquency fee. "The credit card statement that was due last week just arrived on my desk today!" Not really a lie, but it was on my kitchen table for 3 weeks prior to arriving on my desk.

10. What do you dislike most about your appearance?
I guess it would be my unruly hair. And hairs coming out in undesirable locales: nose, ears, etc.

11. What is the quality you most like in a man?

I guess sensitivity although the quality of being handy with all manner of tools, repairs, and home improvement projects is sounding pretty damn fine.

12. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Not giving a damn about what's considered "ladylike." Being butch.

13. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?

"Godfuckingdamn" and "fuck it" pop up frequently.

14. What or who is the greatest love of your life?

The what would have to be music. The who would have to be txrad.

15. When and where were you happiest?
Just moments before I got to this question and realized there were two #15 questions and I had to renumber the rest of the meme questions. Actually, there are 2 answers to this one, ironically. 1983-1984 in London was the happiest even though I knew it couldn't possibly last. Then last year when I had a phenomenal job right here in Austin which should have lasted but didn't.

16. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

To channel my anger and frustration into something productive or artistic.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?

I always wanted to play an instrument -- guitar, piano or violin. Violin is actually my favorite instrument. Right now I'd settle for the talent of being a handyman.

18. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Sticking with one profession for 18 years after basically falling into it.

19. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
I'd be perfectly happy to come back as myself. Especially if I could fix a few things along the way. But I'd also be just as happy not coming back. The future just doesn't look as appealing as it did when I was much younger.

20. Where would you like to live?

If you only knew how many times I've asked myself that question. In the short-term, probably Arkansas simply because it would make my life a lot easier. But any place where I could have the answer to question #1 would be fine with me.

21. What is your most treasured possession?

Probably the equity in my house. Otherwise the answer to #7 and #22 would be 10x worse.

22. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?

Pretty much my current state of mind. A feeling of endless limbo, and a feeling of being trapped.

23. What is your favorite occupation?
It's usually quiet contemplation although lately I feel I'm doing too much of that so I tend to enjoy anything that keeps my mind busy. Reading, cleaning, or working in the yard.

24. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Captain James T. Kirk and James Bond. "Ohhh, James..."

25. What are your favorite names?

James, Tater Tot, Santa Fe, Alfred -- you never see that one anymore. And simple names with clever spellings: Siouxsie and Phydeaux.

26. What is it that you most dislike?
Pollution of all types. Pollution of the environment, noise pollution, radiowaves filling the air (think about that one), billboards, disposable items that are excessively disposable (those disposable cameras come to mind). Pollution is followed very closely by corruption although political corruption is a type of pollution really.

27. How would you like to die?

I'd like for us to all go out together. Seems more fair. Why should some get to hang around and continue having fun a little while longer?

28. What is your motto?
I have no tolerance for intolerance.

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