Monday, September 24, 2007

What's Up With Widow Women (or #2* in my list of reasons why my mother drives me nuts)

Today is my mother's 84th birthday. I called her this evening to wish her well and to explain that I've been too busy to send the letter I promised last week, and I happened to remember while on the phone with her that I bought her a card about 2 months ago and then forgot about it.

Work's a bitch.

But I digress. What is it with these widow women and their aversion to charity from males? There's a rich millionaire in my hometown who likes to take meals to the old ladies, give them things, etc. My mother has been complaining about this charity for many months now.

She can cook for herself and she can get around in her Lincoln. She knows how to get to Wal-Mart and Sav-Mart and stock up on groceries, and cook what she has procured. (I make a once a year pilgrimage to my motherland and I'm enthralled with the meals. I can't even do them and I'm almost half her age.)

Anyway, this rich dude has been trying to give her a new TV for months. My mother thinks TV is evil. And to be offered one as a gift from a married man, she probably thinks is sinful.

Besides, she likes her old TV with the antenna struggling to catch a signal from 85 miles up the highway.

The old millionaire sent my brother a check for something like $1,800 and told him to go buy her a TV and he'd pay for cable for a year.

Here's what we're doing. My brother has cashed the check, bought a TV (I hope for less than $1200) and put it all out on his living room floor to do a sort of reverse parental control, where you block channels you don't want a parent to see. Comedy Central comes to mind.

There are certain channels, that if she is exposed to them, will send her straight into the grips of hellfire.

So, my mother's birthday is today, and I was talking to her and she said my brother might be coming down for a visit tomorrow. I'm sure he'll have the TV in tow. I just emailed him to ask him what the "story" was so we could be on the same page.

The last time I talked to him we were either going to say we went halvsies on it (fat chance since he can't afford it, and I don't want to afford it) or that he won it in a contest.

That's a pretty big variation in excuses, so we need to be on the same page.

Meanwhile, my mother gets this Wal-Mart gift certificate today for her birthday for $300 from same millionaire. She doesn't want it (she shops at Wal-Mart ALL the fucking time!) and told the guy. He said give it to either of your two sons.

I didn't say I refuse to shop at Wal-Mart so give it to my brother. He needs it more than I. She intervened by saying she's giving it back to the giver.

But that's all beside the point. She doesn't want the card, and she's returning it.

What is wrong with this woman?

I would take the damn thing, and go buy $300 worth of food and give it to a homeless bank. (txrad's idea)

She'll give it back to the giver, and he'll give it to another greedy old white woman who will go to Wal-Mart and squander the thing on worthless nick-nacky shit.

Who deserves it?

Another thing txrad said tonight which makes perfect sense. The rich can take care of the world. If they want to.

*List is NOT in sequential order.

Crossposted at B3 With any luck.

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