Reader Advisory: This post is pretty gross and explicit. Unless you ever seriously considered becoming a doctor or a vet you might want to stop here.
I use plastic bags for scooping and disposing of cat litter. Last week I scooped both boxes and deposited the litter into the bags. I keep one bag inside another just in case there's a rip or something. I tie a knot in the first bag and then tie a knot in the second bag before taking it to the dumpster.
Last week I forgot to take the bag out. It was still sitting in the small plastic bucket which helps keep the bags open since I fold the bags over the edge of the bucket. I needed to clean the litter boxes this morning and I decided to pry open the bags and continue filling those rather than use new bags.
I gently pried open the knot in the top bag and then began working on the inner bag. I noticed what appeared to be a rubber band tangled up in the knot. I thought that was strange since I don't use those to secure the bags shut. As I got the knot untied I pulled at the thing and it actually wasn't a loop like a rubber band would be. I thought it was a piece of spaghetti. Then my brain began to kick into action.
If it really was a wayward string of pasta it would probably have been dry and brittle and would easily break. It was quite limber. This was going through my brain as I was holding the end of it. I quickly dropped it into the pre-existing litter and began scooping fresh litter out of the boxes and into the bucket, trying very hard to cover that thing up as quickly as possible so I wouldn't have to see it.
I took the bag out to the dumpster, this time holding it in my left hand which was the pasta hand, so that I'd use a relatively clean hand on the door knobs. Then I went to wash my hands.
I don't know what the hell it was but I have a feeling it was gross. (And I refuse to use the "T" word on this blog.) Did it crawl out of a turd and try to escape through the knot?
I need to think about something else. Like what's for lunch. See you all later.